Adventure Fantasy Humor

Meet Reginald "Habst" Habstermeister: burnout, urban explorer, and loveable loser. Leeching off his oversexed and underage girlfriend, and living the life of luxury in her wealthy mother's mansion, he doesn't have a care in the world. But when Habst unwittingly becomes the prime suspect in the sabotage of Walt Disney World's most hated attractions, he has no choice but to enter a seedy web of Darknet intrigue in order to clear his name.

Be warned, listener, this audiobook isn’t about a normal spice bag, nor is it about a normal boy. Quite the opposite. This audiobook is about the Spice Bag and our unlikely hero: a 10-year-old boy named George. And then there’s Mr Spicebag’s chipper, which seems to be at the centre of everything. George is about to have the weirdest week of his life.

Here collected for the first time are the thrilling and hopefully hilarious tales of the world's most embarrassed superhero. "Everyman" Race Harleson just wanted to do his guard shift and pick up his check - so the cosmos decided he'd get to be special, giving him Superman-like powers including strength, flight, and virtual invulnerability...so long as he's completely naked while he fights crime and saves the world.

His Holiness, the Supreme Spiritual Leader of the Galactic Guild, Glup III, an aging podil, is about to be dethroned and podil-napped all in the same day. The MISFITS decide today is a good day to thwart the evil Cardinal Nog’nik’s plans to take over the Galactic Guild and become a living god. The Galactic Guild dispatches their top agents, George Shooters and Sali Terri to restore Glup III to his righteous position and discover how a pair of bumbling pilgrims have obtained the technology necessary to teleport Glup III from the clutches of a deranged despot.

When a trip to the mall goes from weird to "WTF?", high school students Brad and Stephanie find themselves transported to the oddest and most wonderful place in the universe. Or some universe at least. It’s like Club Med, but more like Club Mashup, filled with a cadre of strange and unusual aliens. With memberships to the only intergalactic, pan-dimensional, crosstime resort in the cosmos, our heroes must foil a plot by dastardly villains bent on its conquest. What can two human teens do about it? Throw a party, of course! Along with the very first intergalactic beauty (?) pageant.

Sir Alanbart avoids action, recoils from romance, and shuns self-sacrifice; yet when he finds himself drawn into a harebrained attempt to rescue King Arthur, he becomes a victim of all three, and then poor Alanbart must fight hard to stay true to his cowardly and indolent nature.

Three Days and Two Knights is a genre crossover that blends fantasy adventure, comedy, and romance in a historical literary setting.

The Champion of the Emerald City battles an onslaught of kidnappers, drug dealers, litigious lawyers, and alien robots, but he is not alone. He relies on his new-found faith, and he has the help of his friends Zolgron and Captain France. Enjoy laughs and fond memories of the superheroes you've loved since childhood in these two sensational novellas.

For a formerly mindless thrall, Badass Mike’s life isn’t easy. Ever since he got into a tussle with the American justice system, his body has been forced to wander the Earth while his head is trapped in a jar. He could, of course, rely on his new acquaintance Billy Bitchcakes to help him out - that is if the little guy isn’t too busy working on his “brand”. Oh, and there’s also his lawyer, whose name is...

Barry's been patient, but after 27 years of trimming hedges for people he hates, he's had enough. All he wants to do is to find his missing father and to discover his inner ninja. But life’s not done with throwing him curveballs. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to unleash the ninja within and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer, and a raging inferno.

Sali Terri and George Shooters - two rookie officers from the Galactic Guild - find themselves in way over their heads with political intrigue, working to ratify a treaty with the cantankerous locals of a small planet called Kili Wanna. Every time an agreement is about to be reached with the current emperor, someone kills him off, nullifying the planet's induction into the Galactic Guild. The madness ramps up when outside influences take the matter into their own hands and flood the podunk planet with junk food in an attempt to corrupt their simple lifestyle and force an alliance.

Imagine you’re the Pandora of myth and legend. The Greek chick with the box. Now imagine it’s your duty (and your curse) to gather up all the evil you set free and put it where it belongs - back into the box you were tricked into opening all those millennia ago. Add to the mix the world’s first rock star, an immortal villainess with a kink for poisons, and a management shakeup in the Underworld. Now imagine your box has been stolen.

Galactic senator Plunkitt and his faithful iBot butler Jobs warp to the overgrown hot-house Planet Tree, where even the hotel rooms are alive - and possibly trying to consume them. Until today, the termites sanitation union has kept the foliage at bay, but now Plunkitt has accidentally sparked a planet-wide strike, instantly making him the most hated being on Tree.

Make friends,” the A.I. said. Gemini Fowler did. Now, the stakes have been raised, and Gemini is irate. Stripped of his gear and returned to the village where it all started, he must follow a long road filled with peril and quests to level up and recover the companion he lost. Soon, he’ll see Enora is much more than a dark forest, and his adventure has hardly begun. Can he reach Roshan before the mysterious governor’s men arrive at the tyrant’s stronghold and she is lost to him forever?

Every cheap little barbarian movie deserves a sequel. But abiding by the laws of straight-to-video sword and sorcery, the sequel doesn’t always continue the story. They’re crazier, funny, and often far removed from the mythology laid down by the film which preceded them. So, in keeping with this formula comes Sword Dude 2. The continuing adventures of the hero also known as the Dude of Swords. He’s back, by popular demand, fighting, killing, playing it cool, and saving the girl in this phantasmagoric romp into realms fantastic.

This audiobook is intended for children of all ages. It is set in 1959, but in a parallel universe, starring Albert, an eternally youthful 77-year-old, and his 7-year-old best friend, Wilber. Join them on their many surreal adventures as Albert seeks to cling onto his youth and find the answer of a lifetime. Three wild days in Albert's world full of imaginative scenery and quirky characters, combined with plenty of good old-fashioned 1950's boyhood charm, will leave you wondering what could possibly happen next.

The Wonderful World of Linus Bailey existed, until recently, entirely within Linus' head. That was okay until the morning of his tenth birthday, when it all came true. Welsh coal miners singing in the garden, a camel, a headmaster who turned evil and a school that became a castle, these all became the backdrop to the much bigger question: Would Nigel Bailey, his Yorkshire Ninja dad arrive in time for his birthday, or would Linus be trapped down a mine for ever? Immerse yourself in the mind of a ten-year-old British schoolboy as he learns to cope with a brand new world.

The time? Tomorrow. Can the president of the United Red States of America and the president of the United Blue States of America come together to stop a giant asteroid before it destroys Earth in one month's time? Who is the mysterious Doctor Apophis? What is the "S.U.R.", and why is the president of the USA determined to defend it at all costs? What the hell is the Canadian army doing in North Dakota, and why does HRH Queen Kate of England want to wage war with the USA? And what is...The Myoshi Effect?

Quiti and the rest of the Hair Suits have just set up the Hair Suite, the embassy of the alien Hair Balls, when they learn they have competition. Alien cyborgs called Chip Monks want to win Earth for themselves. The two species must duel for control. These rivals discover a third alien species that threatens to destroy Earth, and have to join up quickly in order to protect the planet they are both seeking to win. Along the way, they get swept up in a world of intergalactic politics, wormholes, and role-playing.

Max is a normal kid with normal ambitions: Do good in school, have a nice life, get the girl. But when he asks out the seemingly ordinary October Autumn, his life takes a turn for the crazy: The McDonald’s restaurant she works at turns out to be a giant robot engaged in a battle for the palate of the American people. Sucked into this world, Max is called upon to join the Franchises in a battle to save this dimension from a version of Joseph Stalin who merged with Skynet before he died and holds the keys to an army of space orcs summoned from the depths of Mordor.

Sam Flock is a good cop, but when she has a paranormal experience on the job that causes her to drive into the side of an ambulance, her career in law enforcement meets its end. Determined to find answers, she forms a paranormal investigation agency with her friend, Shells. Though they are perhaps the world's worst paranormal investigators, they find something beyond their wildest imaginings.