Adventure Fantasy Humor

Sali Terri and George Shooters - two rookie officers from the Galactic Guild - find themselves in way over their heads with political intrigue, working to ratify a treaty with the cantankerous locals of a small planet called Kili Wanna. Every time an agreement is about to be reached with the current emperor, someone kills him off, nullifying the planet's induction into the Galactic Guild. The madness ramps up when outside influences take the matter into their own hands and flood the podunk planet with junk food in an attempt to corrupt their simple lifestyle and force an alliance.

Imagine you’re the Pandora of myth and legend. The Greek chick with the box. Now imagine it’s your duty (and your curse) to gather up all the evil you set free and put it where it belongs - back into the box you were tricked into opening all those millennia ago. Add to the mix the world’s first rock star, an immortal villainess with a kink for poisons, and a management shakeup in the Underworld. Now imagine your box has been stolen.

Galactic senator Plunkitt and his faithful iBot butler Jobs warp to the overgrown hot-house Planet Tree, where even the hotel rooms are alive - and possibly trying to consume them. Until today, the termites sanitation union has kept the foliage at bay, but now Plunkitt has accidentally sparked a planet-wide strike, instantly making him the most hated being on Tree.

In this sequel to the hilarious science fiction novel No Small Bills, the aptly named DuckBob Spinowitz is settling into his new job as Guardian of the Matrix and his new friendship with the Man in Black he dubbed Tall. But when a gift/bribe from Tall has an unexpected effect on the dour government agent, it's up to DuckBob to figure out what's going on and save his friend - and possibly the entire human race! Again! And all without leaving his couch!

Moments after the inauguration of our 45th president, best friends Barack Obama and Joe Biden were escorted to a secret lab run by the world’s greatest scientists. They were asked to take off all their clothes and hold very still in a fetal position until they felt a painful tingling sensation. Then they vanished. They would awake to find themselves apart, and inside their younger bodies and driven to find each other, and to change history for the better.

Make friends,” the A.I. said. Gemini Fowler did. Now, the stakes have been raised, and Gemini is irate. Stripped of his gear and returned to the village where it all started, he must follow a long road filled with peril and quests to level up and recover the companion he lost. Soon, he’ll see Enora is much more than a dark forest, and his adventure has hardly begun. Can he reach Roshan before the mysterious governor’s men arrive at the tyrant’s stronghold and she is lost to him forever?

Every cheap little barbarian movie deserves a sequel. But abiding by the laws of straight-to-video sword and sorcery, the sequel doesn’t always continue the story. They’re crazier, funny, and often far removed from the mythology laid down by the film which preceded them. So, in keeping with this formula comes Sword Dude 2. The continuing adventures of the hero also known as the Dude of Swords. He’s back, by popular demand, fighting, killing, playing it cool, and saving the girl in this phantasmagoric romp into realms fantastic.

This audiobook is intended for children of all ages. It is set in 1959, but in a parallel universe, starring Albert, an eternally youthful 77-year-old, and his 7-year-old best friend, Wilber. Join them on their many surreal adventures as Albert seeks to cling onto his youth and find the answer of a lifetime. Three wild days in Albert's world full of imaginative scenery and quirky characters, combined with plenty of good old-fashioned 1950's boyhood charm, will leave you wondering what could possibly happen next.

The Wonderful World of Linus Bailey existed, until recently, entirely within Linus' head. That was okay until the morning of his tenth birthday, when it all came true. Welsh coal miners singing in the garden, a camel, a headmaster who turned evil and a school that became a castle, these all became the backdrop to the much bigger question: Would Nigel Bailey, his Yorkshire Ninja dad arrive in time for his birthday, or would Linus be trapped down a mine for ever? Immerse yourself in the mind of a ten-year-old British schoolboy as he learns to cope with a brand new world.

Max is a normal kid with normal ambitions: Do good in school, have a nice life, get the girl. But when he asks out the seemingly ordinary October Autumn, his life takes a turn for the crazy: The McDonald’s restaurant she works at turns out to be a giant robot engaged in a battle for the palate of the American people. Sucked into this world, Max is called upon to join the Franchises in a battle to save this dimension from a version of Joseph Stalin who merged with Skynet before he died and holds the keys to an army of space orcs summoned from the depths of Mordor.

Sam Flock is a good cop, but when she has a paranormal experience on the job that causes her to drive into the side of an ambulance, her career in law enforcement meets its end. Determined to find answers, she forms a paranormal investigation agency with her friend, Shells. Though they are perhaps the world's worst paranormal investigators, they find something beyond their wildest imaginings.

It's crass gun porn filled with fanboy pandering action movie references. Do you like action movies? Do you like dark, edgy, hard-boiled heroes? Do you like fully automatic weapons blasting guys' heads off? How about product endorsements that are awkwardly placed between depictions of intense violence? Yeah? Then this book is for you!

It was a normal summer afternoon when Mona and Bitsy left the mall to head home after their day of shopping. At least, it seemed normal except for the thunderstorm and the possible tornado, which picked up their Prius and set them down in the middle of a wheat field. Oh, and those calls from North Dakota that Mona thought were a wrong number, they might have had something to do with where the girls landed. They were definitely not in Kansas anymore, and Reuben and Sean McLean were definitely not Munchkin men. The girls want to go home to Littlefield, Illinois in the year 2010, but how?

Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.

Something very strange is going on in Bowling Green, Kentucky. A masked terrorist attacks a local politician and a news reporter at a minor league baseball game. A Gay Pride parade is bombed. A veteran's home is invaded and taken over by new ownership, and every resident that is not Caucasian has suddenly...disappeared.

It's good to be the Big Cheese, except for the paperwork...and the meetings...and the administrative assistant who makes Attila the Hun look like a sissy! Not to mention that you no longer get to fly around the galaxy watching the hottest pilot in the universe get in and out of the pilot's couch sans clothing, and your Immortal engineer has gotten himself pregnant. Okay, so there is a downside to being the Big Cheese....Now every other cheese producer on the planet wants what you've got, and both the Farnians and the Sploig are breathing down your neck.

In the future, the only weapon against the evil aliens is a nice, sharp cheddar! The Farfnians rule the galaxy with an iron claw, and Earth has been relegated to a backwater planet. What's an ingenious human to do? Find a chink in the Farfnian's chitinous armor - cheese! Enter Harry Fische, captain of the stringship Limburger, and his intrepid crew.

Firsten Guide is a tough, wise-cracking rebel leader who’s light years ahead of his time - and about to lead his crew into a battle that’s Beyond All Weapons. He and his fellow colonizers of Mars have faced a brutal crackdown engineered by Earth’s tyrannical government. But the resourceful Firsten has developed an extraordinary new fuel that enables him and his hardy band to escape into space - and time.

This paranormal adventure follows a young adventure-seeker and a curmudgeonly ghost bound together in a combative partnership that escalates to the comedic breaking point. Only by reconciling their differences are they able to defeat destructive forces working against them, and uncover the profound connections that weave their fates together.

When it comes to big dreams and schemes, young Chuck Lambert would give Walter Mitty a run for his money. In fact, Chuck’s biggest dream of all is really out of this world. Because he’s got his eyes on a prize in the sky. Chuck wants to buy a planet of his own.... Madman Murphy, the King of Planetary Realtors, is more than happy to oblige. He’s got a whole galaxy of planets for sale. All Chuck needs is money . . . and a lot of it. Eleven years later, saving every penny he can scrape up, Chuck’s dream comes true. He takes possession and takes off for Planet 19453X...