Adventure Fantasy Humor

Be warned, listener, this audiobook isn’t about a normal spice bag, nor is it about a normal boy. Quite the opposite. This audiobook is about the Spice Bag and our unlikely hero: a 10-year-old boy named George. And then there’s Mr Spicebag’s chipper, which seems to be at the centre of everything. George is about to have the weirdest week of his life.

It's 1883 - only a few months after Molly Pepper; her mother, Cassandra; and her friend, Emmett, saved New York from an attack by the megalomaniacal Ambrose Rector while managing to preserve the reputations of Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison, whose technology was manipulated in Rector’s scheme. Their selfless heroism will finally earn them a place in the Inventors’ Guild, alongside the greatest minds of their generation. Unless, of course, no one knows that they did any of that.

In the humdrum town of Moormouth, Walter Mortinson's unusual inventions cause nothing but trouble. After one of his contraptions throws the town into chaos, Walter's mother demands he cut the nonsense and join the family mortuary business. Far off on Flaster Isle, famed inventor Horace Flasterborn plans to take Walter under his wing. When a letter arrives by unusual means offering Walter an apprenticeship, he and the moody one-eyed girl next door run away and journey through a strange landscape of fish-people, giantess miners, and hypnotized honeybees.

Meet Gabriela, a young and naive woman whose life takes a wild turn on her first visit to the city. She accidentally sends Viscount Brynmor Highgate, the Marquess of Melodis, tumbling down a flight of stairs to his untimely demise. But Gabriela is no ordinary girl; she's well-versed in the necromantic arts, and she promises Brynmor that she can fix this - or at least maybe her mother can - as she binds his ghost to her side. Joined by her loyal and hilariously eccentric knight protectorate, Lord Sebastian, they embark on a madcap journey across the bottomless Crack.

It's the 25th century, and the American President has taken over the world. Meanwhile, after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for more than 400 years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future, he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great-great-great-great-grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

Until this morning, Charlotte Pudding was almost happy with her life. Apart from her homicidal toaster, dead parents, and general ennui. Well, maybe not that happy. Either way, now that she’s on the run from a shadowy corporation, seeking the secrets of her own family history and tolerating the inanities of a retired god, things are looking a bit more interesting.

A mysterious stranger arrives in a small Sussex village, covered up from head to toes with a coat, gloves, bandages, goggles and hat. The stranger demands to be left alone, spending most of his time in his room working with chemicals and laboratory apparatus. He quickly becomes the talk of the village as he unnerves the locals. Eventually, though, after a burglary (in which the thief was unseen) the stranger's secret comes out.

An intergalactic pop idol dies in a tragic murder. But one of his most devoted fans isn't ready to say goodbye. Twana Burch, super-fan, waits outside a concert venue for a glimpse of Bieber, the object of her obsession. Her whole world changes when his limo explodes. In the blast, she catches a souvenir, his finger. In the midst of recent controversy surrounding illegal cloning, Twana concocts a plan to resurrect her pop idol and rescue his career by booking him at the biggest concert event in the known universe.

Meet Reginald "Habst" Habstermeister: burnout, urban explorer, and loveable loser. Leeching off his oversexed and underage girlfriend, and living the life of luxury in her wealthy mother's mansion, he doesn't have a care in the world. But when Habst unwittingly becomes the prime suspect in the sabotage of Walt Disney World's most hated attractions, he has no choice but to enter a seedy web of Darknet intrigue in order to clear his name.

Jillian's idyllic vacation has become a living nightmare. She graduated from St. Stephen's High School with honors, and after befriending three popular cheerleaders she tutored senior year, all four girls plan to spend an amazing week together at a secluded cabin on Crescent Lake.

What would you do if you woke up to see a living, breathing, tiny, glowing, pink elephant? If you’re anything like Schoch, who lives on the streets of Zürich and is decidedly down on his luck, you might well think it’s time to put away the bottle before your hallucinations get any stranger and go back to sleep. But what if the tiny pink elephant is still there when you wake up?

Over half of Earth's population has left the planet, mainly as contract workers for aliens, and the homeworld is losing relevance to the emigrants. The EarthCent president takes on the task of making sure that humanity isn't permanently stuck in a rut of low-skilled labor. Can the ambassador put aside her new-found obsession with the Galactic Free Press crossword puzzle and help save the day?

On the other side of the galaxy, the Cayl Empire has decided to wind down operations and the Stryx are planning to pick up the pieces. Kelly is tapped to host an open house event on Union Station to tempt the aliens into joining up, but does anybody other than the Stryx actually want the merger to take place?

Sixteen-year-old Lex Bartleby is a teenage grim reaper with the bizarre ability to Damn souls. That makes her pretty scary, even to fellow Grims. But after inadvertently transferring her ability to Zara, a murderous outlaw, Lex is a pariah in Croak, the little town she calls home. To escape the townspeople’s wrath, she and her friends embark on a wild road trip to DeMyse. Though this sparkling desert oasis is full of luxuries and amusements, it feels like a prison to Lex.

Professor Blip Korterly is arrested, his friend Dr. Flake Fountain is drafted into a shadow-government research project to develop the ultimate biological weapon, and an accidental outbreak turns into a merry-hearted, babble-inducing apocalypse that will either destroy humankind or take it to the next step in evolution.

Tom Huttle believes that he is on the path to a glamorous new life when he completes the first chapter of his novel, The Pyongyang Paradox, featuring dashing hero Buck Samson. The novel might give Tom the confidence he needs to pursue the woman of his dreams, and fulfill his abiding conviction that he is destined for a life of action and romance. Tom gets more excitement than he bargained for when the explosion of a top-secret satellite sends him to Buck Samson’s fictional world, just as Buck takes over Tom’s pedestrian life.

Here collected for the first time are the thrilling and hopefully hilarious tales of the world's most embarrassed superhero. "Everyman" Race Harleson just wanted to do his guard shift and pick up his check - so the cosmos decided he'd get to be special, giving him Superman-like powers including strength, flight, and virtual invulnerability...so long as he's completely naked while he fights crime and saves the world.

His Holiness, the Supreme Spiritual Leader of the Galactic Guild, Glup III, an aging podil, is about to be dethroned and podil-napped all in the same day. The MISFITS decide today is a good day to thwart the evil Cardinal Nog’nik’s plans to take over the Galactic Guild and become a living god. The Galactic Guild dispatches their top agents, George Shooters and Sali Terri to restore Glup III to his righteous position and discover how a pair of bumbling pilgrims have obtained the technology necessary to teleport Glup III from the clutches of a deranged despot.

When a trip to the mall goes from weird to "WTF?", high school students Brad and Stephanie find themselves transported to the oddest and most wonderful place in the universe. Or some universe at least. It’s like Club Med, but more like Club Mashup, filled with a cadre of strange and unusual aliens. With memberships to the only intergalactic, pan-dimensional, crosstime resort in the cosmos, our heroes must foil a plot by dastardly villains bent on its conquest. What can two human teens do about it? Throw a party, of course! Along with the very first intergalactic beauty (?) pageant.

Sir Alanbart avoids action, recoils from romance, and shuns self-sacrifice; yet when he finds himself drawn into a harebrained attempt to rescue King Arthur, he becomes a victim of all three, and then poor Alanbart must fight hard to stay true to his cowardly and indolent nature.

Three Days and Two Knights is a genre crossover that blends fantasy adventure, comedy, and romance in a historical literary setting.