Bible Humor

Satire to set your heart on fire. What if the parables weren’t so well known? Would you still think the same way? Not the Parable of the Good Samaritan contains 40 different takes on the original parable to snap us out of our over-familiarity and to open our eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Half tongue-in-cheek, half right between the eyes. Often fun, sometimes poignant, and occasionally painful; these parables reveal our cultural biases, hidden assumptions, and the lies we believe. Not the Bible. It’s like the Bible. Only not.

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Approximately 80 percent of Americans admit they haven’t read the Bible. If they did, they’d be pleasantly surprised by its impressive quantity of sex and poop jokes. David danced naked. Noah was basically a moonshining hillbilly. Ezekiel baked poop bread. Herod was eaten by worms. Jesus cursed a fig tree, just to prove he could. Mark went streaking. Hosea married a prostitute. Lot was date-raped by his own daughters. It turns out, there’s a lot of weird stuff in the Bible.

Let the Sword of Truth tickle you into submission. More Not the Parables of Jesus contains another 40 satirical takes on the original parables to snap us out of our over-familiarity and to open our eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Often fun, sometimes poignant, and occasionally painful; these parables reveal our cultural biases, hidden assumptions, and the lies we believe. Not the Bible. It’s like the Bible. Only not.

Restore the wonder of the parables, the joy of the Gospel...and the discomfort of the Sword of Truth stabbed firmly in your gut. Not the Parables of Jesus contains more than 40 different takes on the original parables to snap us out of our over-familiarity and to open our eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Often fun, sometimes poignant, and occasionally painful, these parables reveal our cultural biases, hidden assumptions, and the lies we believe.

The story of a man who became his bathroom.

What makes time fly? Can time “drag”? Three short stories illustrate how the mind perceives time under various circumstances. Anger, frustration, love, murder, and apprehension distort perceptions of time in the first story entitled "A Timely Crack". The second story, "Brainstorm", illustrates how terror, ignorance, apprehension, and blackmail may distort the experience of time. Long effort and ultimate failure alter the perception of time in "Autobiography of a Stillborn Soul", the third story.

Reverend Maloney isn't the world's greatest spiritual advisor. He drinks gin out of his coffee cup and has sex dreams about the Holy Ghost. His best friend Eli isn't perfect either, but he's a chess genius, so Maloney sees an opportunity in traveling around the country so Eli can win major chess tournament after chess tournament (while Maloney pockets Eli's winnings).

The American Midwest was a bucolic landscape that didn’t quite adjust to the zombie apocalypse. Instead of open arms and welcoming faces, there are now open mouths and ravenous Zs. The blue collar drive to work hard has become a red-mouthed hunger for flesh. Jace Stanford, his family, and the rag tag bunch of Whispering Pines survivors, private military contractors, laborers, and former (hopefully?) cannibals now must face the vast, exposed space of America’s Heartland in order to get to a possible sanctuary in the post-apocalyptic ruins of Boulder, Colorado.

Forced out of Asheville, Jace Stanford’s family, along with a convoy of suburbanites, misfits, criminals, and soldiers, must battle their way through the I-40 corridor of Eastern Tennessee. When they are separated from their friends and allies in Knoxville, the Stanfords have to rely on their skills as post-apocalyptic survivors to fight off the Zs, insane Vols fans, homicidal sorority girls, and the most deadly of the post-apocalyptic threats - cannibal gangs!

When the zombie apocalypse hits the quiet Asheville, NC, subdivision of Whispering Pines, the residents don't turn to the police or the military. Nope. They rely on their iron-fisted Home Owners Association! Which Jace Stanford and his family aren’t too keen on. Undead hordes are hard enough to deal with in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, who needs HOA fines too?