Cat Humor

Meet Conrad. You’ve never met a cat like him before. Neither has Lulu Lewis when he walks into her life one summer’s day. Mourning the recent death of her husband, the former police detective had expected a gentle retirement, quietly enjoying life on her new canal boat, The Lark, and visiting her mother-in-law Emily in a nearby care home. But when Emily dies suddenly in suspicious circumstances, Lulu senses foul play and resolves to find out what really happened. And a remarkable cat named Conrad will be with her every step of the way.

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door.... He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls. He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school. I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Explore the cautionary tales of "101 Ways a Dog Can Go to Hell." From causing neighborhood digital disasters to digging so deep they fall into a never-ending abyss, each story highlights the wilder side of our beloved dogs and their journey to the darker realms. Meet the dog whose fascination with gadgets caused a digital disaster in the neighborhood, or the adventurous pup that digs so deep it ends up in a never-ending abyss. Discover the antics of the dog that loses its temper at the gates of heaven, resulting in eternal damnation.

In addition to feeding the felines Aubrey and Vincent, Jeremy Goodman has a new responsibility: filling a recently vacated trustee role at a local charity that works tirelessly to house the homeless. Jeremy is initially enthusiastic—but soon begins to suspect that all is not as it seems at the nonprofit’s headquarters.

After spending several months banged up in Sunny Banks rescue center, life is looking good for Aubrey, a large tabby cat who has finally found his forever home with Molly and Jeremy. However, all that changes when a killer begins to target elderly people in the neighborhood. Aubrey wasn't particularly upset by some of the previous deaths—particularly that of Miss Jenkins, who enjoyed throwing stones at cats. But the latest victim, Mr. Telling, was one of the good humans.

Christmas is celebrated for the benefit of cats. Humans would do well to remember this. Sammy sees the Christmas world from the viewpoint that all things belong to cats, including presents, food, and the tree.

Sammy is a real cat. This is the story of his life from his perspective. He also knows exactly how to manipulate the world around him with his mantra: "All things belong to cats. All things exist for the benefit of cats. The cat is always in charge."

Michael Carter is 12 years old. Right now, he and his fart brothers are in space, trying to save the president, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. Larry is lost, but new unexpected allies are going to help the gang! Will they get rid of the gross zombies, once and for all? And the aliens? That’s a whole other story! They need to get rid of those, too.

When you are an inoffensive retired librarian with bitter personal experience of Evil Talking Cats, do you rescue a kitten from the cold on a December night? Do you follow up news items about cats digging in graveyards? Do you inquire into long-ago cats who voyaged around the world with Captain Cook? Well, yes. If you are Alec Charlesworth, that is precisely what you do - with unexpected and terrifying consequences.

Felix doesn’t get along with the house dog or parrot. Can they overcome their differences and team up to beat the house burglar? Felix was affectionate. He loved to rub on legs, but suddenly he’d fart so bad. It smelled like rotten eggs.

Le chat Pitre s'envole dans les étoiles ! Pitre est maintenant un chat célèbre. Cinéma, télévision, tout le monde se l'arrache ! Il est même réquisitionné pour une mission dans l'espace ! Le voilà en Guyane, au centre d'entraînement spatial de Kourou. Les premières séances de préparation en piscine ne sont pas de tout repos pour Pitre, mais ce n'est rien comparé à ce qui l'attend : le voyage en fusée !

The One-Eyed Cat and the Gambler is a collection of aphorisms and parables on many different topics, including philosophy, religion, love, human nature, time, and memory. Ranging in tone from pointedly satirical to lightly humorous, Jeffery Bennett’s intent is not to express truths, but rather to provoke and challenge the reader’s thoughts and philosophies.

At last, the mysteries of humans' strange habits and bizarre desires are revealed in this clever, timely guide for the modern cat. Discover answers to timeless feline questions such as: Why does my human refuse to groom herself with her tongue? For decades felines have been meowing for such a guidebook - don't deny them any longer.

Tuck and Ginger are two cats who get on each other's nerves. But they need to pause the claws if they’re to escape from the high-rise apartment where they are trapped. And escape they must, for their kidnappers – Rodney and Janice Burringo – are warty wicked witches who want to use Tuck and Ginger’s body parts to build the best witches’ cat in the world: a black Purrari.

This is Part One of a new series of books about the loves and lives of the Cats of Salisbury Road, written by the best-selling writer Tom Slemen. If you have a cat you will especially love these comical tales!

Johnny B. Laughing provides children ages 6-10 many hours of fun and laughter with his hilarious and silly jokes. Young listeners will have a blast sharing this revised collection of cat jokes with their friends and family! This children's joke book will have youngsters rolling on the floor with laughter.

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.

A cottage on the coast on a windy evening. Under a pool of yellow light, two figures face each other across a kitchen table. A man and a cat. The story about to be related is so unusual yet so terrifyingly plausible that it demands to be told in a single sitting. The man clears his throat, and leans forward, expectant. 'Shall we begin?' says the cat….

The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers with their claws out, but despite her best efforts, word is spreading with over 75,000 Kindle downloads.

Ben who rides dragons is twice a hero. He's defeated all kinds of demons and learned how to transform into a chimera. That's powerful stuff for a mere cat. Oh, how proud his ancestors would be if they saw him today. In fact, he's far too powerful for Astravar, the mighty warlock and Ben's nemesis, who can't stand the thought of being defeated by a mere moggie. But now he has allied with the other warlocks and together they have a plan to destroy the kingdom.