Comedy Essays

Little did the obscure novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton know in 1830 when he penned that most relished, imitated, and lampooned opening sentence in English literature, "It was a dark and stormy night..." that his words would inspire countless aspiring writers struggling incessantly like boats against the current to emulate his unparalleled style and that his name would grace "The Bulwer-Lytton Contest" honoring his most successful followers. Get it? Abounding in shameless sentences, this audio rendition of the original contest is a hilarious - even perversely instructive - collection of skilled, inept writing. Compiler Scott Rice is a professor of English at San Jose State University and the creator of the contest. The narrators include Marni Webb, Ray Nakamoto, Rachel Songer, and Bob Nathan.

The first collection of comedy essays from Burphole.com. "Very odd essays in stereo." Part ridiculous comedy skit, and part scathing satire. The audio for Burphole is usually a stereophonic mix including pans, beats, and loads of effects. This audiobook is completely free of all that. When my agent asked, "Are you a writer, or are you a producer?", I didn't know how to respond. I still don't. But here it is free of everything but my voluptuous voice. Recorded in a closet. Because it's noisy around here. Too many hookers armed with bongos.

Moving to New York City is the worst decision you'll ever make. Unless you're like a certain singer who arrived with millions of dollars and legions of screaming fans. You're going to live in the equivalent of a shack [shit hole], suffer through moronic roommates [personal death], be broke off your ass [literally], and all while trying to prove to the world [yourself] you can make it in the big city. You can call it a day and crawl back to wherever you hail from or you can put on your big girl panties and survive.

Michael Heide beschreibt mit "schönster Tag" eine besondere Begegnung an der S-Bahn im Haubtbahnhof, der er liebevoll den schönsten Tag des Lebens wünscht. Allerdings mit nicht unerheblichen Folgen.
Florian Hoffmann erzählt in seinem Text "Fruchtfliegen" mit überzeugendem Einsatz seiner Stimme, wie man die lästigen Obstbegleiter schnell loswerden kann.
Andrej Schindhelm gibt mit seinem Text "Warmluftfront" eine wunderbare Performance, die nicht nur heiße Luft verbreitet.
Jacinta Nandi lebt seit zehn Jahren in Deutschland. Sie macht herrliche Beobachtungen über die Merkwürdigkeiten der Deutschen, die sie in Ihrem Text "Beginners Guide to Deutsche Hobbys" zusammen gefasst hat.
Regina Mengel hat sich einmal intensiv Gedanken über Gedanken gemacht und kommt dabei zu einem überraschendem Schluss.
Andrea Meyer lässt Schauder über den Rücken jagen. Ihr Text spricht Bände: "Ich liebe dich zu Tode".
Luisa Joyce hat es geschafft, mit "Verlorengegangen" eine berührende Meldung zu schreiben, die zeigt, das auch kurze Texte sehr stark sein können.

A selection from the John Updike audio collection. These extraordinarily evocative stories depict the generation born in a small-town America during the Depression and growing up in a world where the old sexual morality was turned around and material comforts were easily had. Yet, as these stories reflect so accurately, life was still unsettling, and Updike chronicles telling moments both joyful and painful.

A collection of humorous insights into important topics ranging from being targeted by annoying ads ("Nowhere to Hide"), to resorting to symbols when you've forgotten your words ("At a Loss for Words"), to figuring out what door that extra key opens ("My Extra Key"). Other essays examine how sitting is the new smoking (whatever that means) and why it is just so hard to focus when you have the attention span of a gnat.

This is the first of a series of essays to explore the age-old art of BS. What is BS? How can one master the art of BS? When, where, and how is BS appropriate? A tongue-in-cheek cultural and literary analysis of the history and nature of BS as an art form. Author and narrator Dan Sullivan tackles the subject in his customarily zany way, mixing anecdote, history, science, and of course, biology.