Comedy Fantasy Short

A record of a Zombie’s rant about the trials and tribulations of his life as a dis-respected member of the undead. A Chat Before Dinner is a 2,600 word darkly-humorous short story.

An immovable object stands in the way of the Galactic Emperor Jarrl. He has waged siege against his arch-nemesis for 1,000 years, but the barrier still stands. Now, he has come up with a plan to put the immovable object's name to the test, and lay waste to his enemies. Will his plan work? Will he manage to obliterate his foes? Will he press the big red button to destroy a galaxy?

Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself - but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong.

Stan is having a lie in today. Caroline, his long-suffering wife, went to work this morning and left him with a long list of chores to complete around the house. But he'd rather stay in bed and, well, ahem, yes. It would all be just about the perfect day if a vision of Caroline didn't keep waking Stan up, disturbing his lazy idyll. Caroline has news and he needs to listen to her, for just about the first time ever. Wake up, Stan!