Dark Comedy Horror Fiction

Everybody hates their homeowner’s association, and nobody likes a zombie apocalypse. Put the two together, and Withrow Surrett is having a truly craptastic night. Not to mention the fact that he’s got one big secret to keep from the idiots in his home - Withrow is a vampire.

Spring Etienne is a pretty, charming 15-year-old psychopath who will do anything to bring herself out of poverty - including seducing a lonely older man. Hank is indeed a lonely older man - but he is also an incubus who feeds on the dreams of his victims. Together, they form a bizarrely functional, darkly comedic couple. When a murder forces the couple to flee to Hank's homeland in Germany, they are drawn deep into the world of the incubi - a world where Spring fits in very, very well.

This is the story of a dying little boy fighting to escape a very special hell!

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

An American couple travel to a strange, snowy European city to adopt a baby, who they hope will resurrect their failing marriage. This difficult journey leaves the wife, who is struggling with cancer, desperately weak, and her husband worries that her apparent illness will prevent the orphanage from releasing their child. The couple check into the cavernous and eerily deserted Borgarfjaroasysla Grand Imperial Hotel where the bar is always open and the restaurant serves 13-course dinners from centuries past.

Clive Menard is just an ordinary guy living an ordinary life. But when a talking spider crawls inside his head, things get a lot less ordinary…and people start dying. Could an itsy-bitsy arachnid be behind the killing spree terrorizing Clive’s community? To evade a sharp detective and find a murderer among friends, Clive must shake the cobwebs loose and piece together the puzzle of his life, all without falling prey to a dark force beyond his comprehension.

Iseult Wince is a Victorian woman perilously close to spinsterhood whose distinctly unpleasant father is trying to marry her off. She is awkward, plain, and most pertinently, believes that her mother, who died in childbirth, lives in the scar on her neck. Iseult’s father parades a host of unsuitable candidates before her, the majority of whom Iseult wastes no time frightening away. When at last her father finds a suitor desperate enough to take Iseult off his hands - a man whose medical treatments have turned his skin silver - a true comedy of errors ensues.

The Devil might be the greatest liar of all time...but which lies are his? A man named Jesus wanders the earth, from the U.S.A. to Egypt, from the Middle East to South America, desperate to discover who he really is. The archangels would see Jesus dead for his name alone, but he's only mortal...isn't he? In a life defined by the insanity of the world around him, the man named Jesus has only one friend...that friend has many faces, but only one true name - Abbadon. Armageddon approaches, and not all revelations are welcome.

Dracula, Wolfman, The Mummy, Frankenstein. You've lived with the stories your whole life. You've read the tales. You've watched the films. But what if the stories were different? What if the things you read about these monsters were warped and twisted? Here lie stories you may not have heard. Stories both weird and shocking. Bizarre and grotesque. Alternate versions of your favorite classic monsters you've never read and never will again. Featuring 13 stories by Jonathan Moon, The Sisters of Slaughter, Tom Lucas and more!

The housing market is depressed. But not as depressed as anyone who spends a night at 668 Langford Place. The decaying mansion next door - number 666 - will soon see the return of Bog-Muggoth, an ancient, evil demon that makes the Amityville Horror seem like Casper the Friendly Ghost. But Bog-Muggoth isn’t making his haunted house call alone. Other vile gods from beyond time and space will be joining in the festivities to make the world their oyster - and leave it an empty shell.

Just imagine you walk into a cheesy old greasy-spoon diner, the kind that ought to hand out antacid along with a napkin, knife, and fork. You ask the waitress for eggs and bacon, and she brings you a plate with live chicken on it. I mean, feathers and beak and the whole bonanza. Just think about a mix of Kafka and O'Henry and you are somewhere close to the mark.

This spooky anthology by Eli Taff, Jr. is a collection of 10 flash-fiction stories packed with cosmic horror and unbelievable terror that will keep you on the edge of your seat and have you sleeping with the lights on. The evil clown that steps out of a childhood memory and kills with a touch; the terrified mother who finds a monster in her daughter's bedroom; the unfaithful businessman who gets off the subway at the wrong stop; and a gangster who gets more than he bargained for when he robs the wrong old lady on the wrong night.

It’s Easter in the land of Oz, and while Jack Pumpkinhead should be enjoying the lovely spring weather, Easter eggs, and candy with his new friend, little Jenny, he can’t. Something is wrong. A terrible memory is beginning to resurface, and Jack is terrified. Whatever it is, he knows it has chased after him for a long time and that he is not strong enough to face it. But very soon, Jack will discover that you can’t hide from the truth forever....

An accountant by day, Mr. Rodgers spends his nights and weekends indulging in a unique passion. Traveling from neighborhood to neighborhood as an unknown entity, he uses unconventional methods to help long-suffering wives rediscover the love they once had for themselves and their husbands. Some might consider him a selfless hero, ahead of his time. The residents of Poagstown, however, have cutting-edge ideas of their own.

Love is one of those four-letter words that people like to throw around, but sometimes love can be one of the meanest and nastiest games in town. If you have ever had your heart broken - then this audiobook is for you. If you enjoy the taste of strong meat - then this audiobook is for you. If you've got a sense of weird that is honed as sharp as a cutthroat's knife - then this audiobook is for you. Here are three of the strangest love stories you have ever read.

Two years ago, publicly shunned comedian Diddy Dave Diamond convinced the nation that he was dead, only to return from beyond the grave to seek retribution on those who ruined his career and tainted his legacy. Innocent or not, only one person survived Diddy Dave Diamond's last-ever game show, but the forfeit prize was imprisonment for similar alleged crimes. But there's a sudden glimmer of hope: Someone has surfaced in the public eye claiming to be the dead comedian.

Walsall, once named the fattest town in UK, has a major sewerage problem. Like the arteries of many of its inhabitants, the main sewer is fast becoming blocked. A fatberg of record proportions has formed and finally clogged up the sewer system. But something foul and gluttonous awaits them buried deep in the thick, greasy rank smelling lard.

Detective Chetwyn has a problem. He believes his chief superintendent might be vampire. He believes that mysterious eccentric Freddie Valentine might be one as well, and that he's going to be bumped off by Valentine's Polish hard-man Oneski.

Donny Spanks is a troubled man. Obsessed with his favorite actress, he sets out to create the perfect woman in her likeness. Using knowledge gained from watching crime shows on T.V., his first few attempts resulted in near disaster; however, he is able to refine his methods, which are extremely barbaric. Through trial and error, he kidnaps women and removes the parts he needs in order to piece them together into the perfect human jigsaw puzzle.

This is the story of a drug deal gone bad. Having committed the crime of selling a potent poison to a desperate youth, a destitute apothecary must decide how to spend his ill-gained fortune. Resolving to start his career afresh, he flees to the city of Verona to set up a new shop of medicinal healing and alchemical discovery. Plans go awry when he finds himself in the middle of a woeful tragedy he had unwittingly helped to cause.