Dark Comedy Horror Fiction

Tod Donavon (59), Las Madres Police Department, has detected something horribly wrong with his ex-wife, and it just might have something to do with the thrill-kill cult he's investigating. And possibly his frequent blackouts. If only Internal Affairs would quit chewing his ring, he could finally get some work done and maybe even find some of these missing kids. Someone's not doing their job, but if he's left alone to do his, there won't be any work left, nor anyone to do it.

After a terrible prank gone wrong, three young men, Topher, Michael, and Kenneth find themselves at Raleigh's Prep, a juvenile detention center for the delinquent children of the fantastically rich. Basically, juvie for rich kids. The boys think they're going to serve out their time, finish their education, but then, three weeks into their term, they find a mangled body on the practice fields.

Just imagine you walk into a cheesy old greasy-spoon diner, the kind that ought to hand out antacid along with a napkin, knife, and fork. You ask the waitress for eggs and bacon, and she brings you a plate with live chicken on it. I mean, feathers and beak and the whole bonanza. Just think about a mix of Kafka and O'Henry and you are somewhere close to the mark.

This spooky anthology by Eli Taff, Jr. is a collection of 10 flash-fiction stories packed with cosmic horror and unbelievable terror that will keep you on the edge of your seat and have you sleeping with the lights on. The evil clown that steps out of a childhood memory and kills with a touch; the terrified mother who finds a monster in her daughter's bedroom; the unfaithful businessman who gets off the subway at the wrong stop; and a gangster who gets more than he bargained for when he robs the wrong old lady on the wrong night.

Since 1985, more than 500 overweight teenagers have come to Camp Wašíču looking to lose weight, gain self-confidence, and turn their lives around. Phillip McCracken arrives, weighing in at almost 400 pounds; but the baggage he carries from the past affects him much more deeply than the numbers of the scale. When a homicidal maniac hell-bent on revenge attacks, Phillip will be forced to either find the courage to save the people around him or fall victim to his own self-doubt...and possibly a machete.

It’s Easter in the land of Oz, and while Jack Pumpkinhead should be enjoying the lovely spring weather, Easter eggs, and candy with his new friend, little Jenny, he can’t. Something is wrong. A terrible memory is beginning to resurface, and Jack is terrified. Whatever it is, he knows it has chased after him for a long time and that he is not strong enough to face it. But very soon, Jack will discover that you can’t hide from the truth forever....

An accountant by day, Mr. Rodgers spends his nights and weekends indulging in a unique passion. Traveling from neighborhood to neighborhood as an unknown entity, he uses unconventional methods to help long-suffering wives rediscover the love they once had for themselves and their husbands. Some might consider him a selfless hero, ahead of his time. The residents of Poagstown, however, have cutting-edge ideas of their own.

Love is one of those four-letter words that people like to throw around, but sometimes love can be one of the meanest and nastiest games in town. If you have ever had your heart broken - then this audiobook is for you. If you enjoy the taste of strong meat - then this audiobook is for you. If you've got a sense of weird that is honed as sharp as a cutthroat's knife - then this audiobook is for you. Here are three of the strangest love stories you have ever read.

Two years ago, publicly shunned comedian Diddy Dave Diamond convinced the nation that he was dead, only to return from beyond the grave to seek retribution on those who ruined his career and tainted his legacy. Innocent or not, only one person survived Diddy Dave Diamond's last-ever game show, but the forfeit prize was imprisonment for similar alleged crimes. But there's a sudden glimmer of hope: Someone has surfaced in the public eye claiming to be the dead comedian.

Walsall, once named the fattest town in UK, has a major sewerage problem. Like the arteries of many of its inhabitants, the main sewer is fast becoming blocked. A fatberg of record proportions has formed and finally clogged up the sewer system. But something foul and gluttonous awaits them buried deep in the thick, greasy rank smelling lard.

Detective Chetwyn has a problem. He believes his chief superintendent might be vampire. He believes that mysterious eccentric Freddie Valentine might be one as well, and that he's going to be bumped off by Valentine's Polish hard-man Oneski.

Donny Spanks is a troubled man. Obsessed with his favorite actress, he sets out to create the perfect woman in her likeness. Using knowledge gained from watching crime shows on T.V., his first few attempts resulted in near disaster; however, he is able to refine his methods, which are extremely barbaric. Through trial and error, he kidnaps women and removes the parts he needs in order to piece them together into the perfect human jigsaw puzzle.

This is the story of a drug deal gone bad. Having committed the crime of selling a potent poison to a desperate youth, a destitute apothecary must decide how to spend his ill-gained fortune. Resolving to start his career afresh, he flees to the city of Verona to set up a new shop of medicinal healing and alchemical discovery. Plans go awry when he finds himself in the middle of a woeful tragedy he had unwittingly helped to cause.

Kate and Michael, twenty-something housemates working at the same Trader Joe’s supermarket, are thoroughly screwed when people start turning into zombies at their house party in the Oakland hills. The zombie plague is a sexually transmitted disease, turning its victims into shambling, horny, voracious killers.

Whatever happened to that bumbling skeleton army from our favorite movie about a time-traveling S-Mart employee? Finally, the whole story.

After the hurricane, Reggie and Betsy discover a portion of their backyard has begun to sink. Fearing the ground will open up and swallow their house sooner rather than later Reggie calls the city to come fix it, but pushback from the local Sheriff slows the process down by a day. Come nightfall the power goes out, the sinkhole opens, and a busload of ghoulish children crawl to the surface for their first meal in 52 years.

Here I am, Charlie f--king Whitman - still pissed from last night, driving a rental car with two retarded kids in the back, somewhere between Barcelona and Paris. I used to be an art dealer. I suppose I still am, but now I do bad things for good money. Everything has its price, and I think I've just found mine.

What is PJ doing with the man in the box in his basement? The man in the box deserves whatever he gets, and PJ is just the man to give it to him.

Brightness Falls isn't just the name of the TV show that womanizing man-child Andrew Ware has been painstakingly creating for the last couple years, it's also his hometown. A town that he loves as much as he hates. By request of no one, Andrew returns home to help his sister separate from her husband, only to become sidetracked by a beautiful woman. A few drinks and few compliments later the woman is dead, killed in a tragic oral sex accident. In which Andrew would have lost his own life if it weren’t for the dapperly dressed, antler-headed, human skeleton named Doug.

When Maecidion dies, the reading of the will is an outrage. Irion, the dead necromancer's kin, watches as coveted heirlooms are given to his enemies. Himself no stranger to black magic, Irion soon embarks on a bitter skirmish to retrieve what should rightfully be his. A composite novel: Tinged with traces of horror and humor, erotica and satire, the world of Mulgara plays host to an ensemble of dark characters.