Dark Comedy Horror Fiction

Emily Schmidt has been locked away in an asylum for a long week since DilDozer first struck, but she can still feel his presence inside her. Breed. Incubate. Multiply. Repeat. Are you ready for the second cumming?

Most people have regrets. Ask them. They will tell you about the opportunities they missed, the dreams they left behind, and the memories of lost loves, locked away until their journeys end. We have no such luxuries, those of us entangled with the dead. It is our job as exorcists to guide them from this world, and finish their unfinished business, even if it means searching for 300 missing souls. This is a recollection of my first case, from a time when I thought nothing of the shadows beneath my feet.

A record of a Zombie’s rant about the trials and tribulations of his life as a dis-respected member of the undead. A Chat Before Dinner is a 2,600 word darkly-humorous short story.

Little Stevie just wanted a friend to help make snowmen and snow angels and have fun and games with. Ever unpopular and often lonely, a lot of experiences most children his age have passed him by. A heavy winter brings the town to a standstill, and he seeks the opportunity to play in the snow, but something else is already playing in the snow, and the game it is playing is deadly enough to destroy mankind.

Back from the dead, and back on the case! Dan Chambeaux was a human private investigator in the Unnatural Quarter...Even though he was killed in a back alley when a case went sour, Dan “Shamble” is still on the case. Even death won’t keep a good detective down. Now, teamed up with his partner Robin Deyer, a bleeding-heart human lawyer who wants justice for all monsters, his ghost girlfriend Sheyenne, and his BHF (Best Human Friend) Officer Toby McGoohan, Shamble solves a host of bizarre mysteries...Dan Shamble puts the P.I. back into R.I.P.

What would you do if you found out that your family's only source of survival was being infected by demons from the foulest depth of Hell? Call local demon hunters, of course. Marty and Kevin and the Wolf are back for another round of battling evil. This time it’s personal. When the Garcia Family and the city of DenMark are attacked by an ancient race of Draconian devils, our heroes fall right into the lap of action.

Mason Dixon is a verified Internet celebrity. Yet his vlog is just a ruse to spread disinformation so he can secretly relocate endangered cryptids. But when Mason and his camera operator Emma find themselves on a dragon-like gowrow's bad side, calling cut won't save them. Can Mason save the endangered beasts before he becomes extinct?

Following the events of Plague World (Book 3 in the Ashley Parker series), Pinky Swear follows wild card Ash, parkour expert JT, and the enigmatic Griff on a near-impossible mission: to rescue a small group of people holed up in a small market. To get there, they must make their way on foot across a zombie-infested San Francisco.

Everybody hates their homeowner’s association, and nobody likes a zombie apocalypse. Put the two together, and Withrow Surrett is having a truly craptastic night. Not to mention the fact that he’s got one big secret to keep from the idiots in his home - Withrow is a vampire.

Steven is a writer, by all accounts of self-proclamation. But no artist can be expected to work under serious pressure, especially not when the pressure consists of his own mother indenting his tender skull with the muzzle of the pistol held in her hand. Suddenly, it's write or die for Steven. He better tap away on that typewriter or expect to be extracted from the land of the living before he's had the opportunity to finish anything he's ever written. Not to mention that his recently departed father lying on the floor beside him should supply enough motivation.

Spring Etienne is a pretty, charming 15-year-old psychopath who will do anything to bring herself out of poverty - including seducing a lonely older man. Hank is indeed a lonely older man - but he is also an incubus who feeds on the dreams of his victims. Together, they form a bizarrely functional, darkly comedic couple. When a murder forces the couple to flee to Hank's homeland in Germany, they are drawn deep into the world of the incubi - a world where Spring fits in very, very well.

This is the story of a dying little boy fighting to escape a very special hell!

Whit had done everything right, but when the world seems against you, can good boys stay good? Whit never drank in excess, never said a bad word to anyone, did his taxes, even called his mom on Sundays, never even had a tattoo...until one night, the night a malicious clown turned everything upside down.

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

Liam and Pierce live in a country ravaged by a strange sickness. It’s called the CRUD, and it turns its victims into rabid killing machines known as the "plaguers". The authorities wage constant war to keep the plaguers from overrunning the towns, boroughs, and cities. Liam and Pierce are plumbers sent to the infected zones to keep the taps and sewers flowing. They preserve the dwindling resources of their homeland.

An American couple travel to a strange, snowy European city to adopt a baby, who they hope will resurrect their failing marriage. This difficult journey leaves the wife, who is struggling with cancer, desperately weak, and her husband worries that her apparent illness will prevent the orphanage from releasing their child. The couple check into the cavernous and eerily deserted Borgarfjaroasysla Grand Imperial Hotel where the bar is always open and the restaurant serves 13-course dinners from centuries past.

Clive Menard is just an ordinary guy living an ordinary life. But when a talking spider crawls inside his head, things get a lot less ordinary…and people start dying. Could an itsy-bitsy arachnid be behind the killing spree terrorizing Clive’s community? To evade a sharp detective and find a murderer among friends, Clive must shake the cobwebs loose and piece together the puzzle of his life, all without falling prey to a dark force beyond his comprehension.

Iseult Wince is a Victorian woman perilously close to spinsterhood whose distinctly unpleasant father is trying to marry her off. She is awkward, plain, and most pertinently, believes that her mother, who died in childbirth, lives in the scar on her neck. Iseult’s father parades a host of unsuitable candidates before her, the majority of whom Iseult wastes no time frightening away. When at last her father finds a suitor desperate enough to take Iseult off his hands - a man whose medical treatments have turned his skin silver - a true comedy of errors ensues.

The Devil might be the greatest liar of all time...but which lies are his? A man named Jesus wanders the earth, from the U.S.A. to Egypt, from the Middle East to South America, desperate to discover who he really is. The archangels would see Jesus dead for his name alone, but he's only mortal...isn't he? In a life defined by the insanity of the world around him, the man named Jesus has only one friend...that friend has many faces, but only one true name - Abbadon. Armageddon approaches, and not all revelations are welcome.

Dracula, Wolfman, The Mummy, Frankenstein. You've lived with the stories your whole life. You've read the tales. You've watched the films. But what if the stories were different? What if the things you read about these monsters were warped and twisted? Here lie stories you may not have heard. Stories both weird and shocking. Bizarre and grotesque. Alternate versions of your favorite classic monsters you've never read and never will again. Featuring 13 stories by Jonathan Moon, The Sisters of Slaughter, Tom Lucas and more!