Dark Humor Mystery

Attacked at home by an unknown assailant, meek Lucille Stevenson should be dead, but she isn’t. She should have called the police, she should have told her family, she should have done a lot of things, but she didn’t. Because what Lucille did to her attacker went far beyond self-defense. It was cold, brutal, and vicious; and if anyone found out, her life would be over. Unfortunately, her biggest problem isn't getting rid of the body; it's that she really enjoyed killing the man and can't wait to do it again...

There are only a few weeks left before an asteroid destroys the planet. It’s the countdown, and all of humanity is just waiting for the end. In Phoenix, AZ, the sheriff’s department and National Guard are battling for supremacy, gas is as good as cash, and elementary school kids are out for blood. Most people in town have become the worst versions of themselves. Except for Dutch Kovaks, private detective. Dutch wants to right some wrongs, help a few people in need, and use the days he’s got left for good. Most of all, he wants to track down a bottle of gin.

Words come easily to writer Danni Hewitt. If only success did the same. The news of America's latest reality sweetheart inking a major book deal sends Danni spiraling into depression, to the point where the idea of soothing her jealousy with a murderous rampage appeals to her. Of course, this requires getting close enough to Krystal Kordova and her family to draw blood, something Danni achieves when she manages to land a job as Krystal's ghostwriter.

When Ren Sharpe was 14, she was kidnapped by a shadowy organization called FATE and trained to be a human weapon. Now, four years later, she receives her assignment: protect Gareth Young at all costs. Currently a student at Texas A&M, Gareth will someday change the world. FATE calls people like Gareth "FIPs" - future important people - and they're everywhere, each with a FATE-trained shadow.

Karl, Eleanor, and their daughter, Irina, arrive from New York City in the wake of Karl's infidelity to start anew. Karl tries to stabilize his flailing art career. Eleanor, a successful commercial novelist, eagerly pivots in a new creative direction. Meanwhile, 12-year-old Irina becomes obsessed with the brutal murders that occurred in the house years earlier. And, secretly, so does her mother.

On November 9, 1989, Bernd Zeiger, a Stasi officer in the twilight of his career, is deteriorating from a mysterious illness. Alarmed by the disappearance of Lara, a young waitress at his regular café with whom he is obsessed, he chases a series of clues throughout Berlin. The details of Lara’s vanishing trigger flashbacks to his entanglement with Johannes Held, a physicist who, 25 years earlier, infiltrated an American research institute dedicated to weaponizing the paranormal.

Henry, a New Yorker left destitute by circumstance and obsession, is plucked from vagrancy by a shadowy outfit whose primary business is arranging for staged murders of anxiety-ridden clients unhinged by the “events downtown” and seeking to experience - and live through - their own carefully executed assassinations. When Henry joins this nefarious crew, which includes a beautiful blonde tattooist named Tulip, contortionist twins, and a woman referred to only as “the knockout”, he becomes inextricably linked to its ringleader, the mysterious herring connoisseur Mr. Kindt.

The landscape of contemporary Paris, replete with the best restaurants, the trendiest bars and clubs, is usually filled with the wealthy, the famous, and le rake or le rou, the charming, educated sophisticate with little or no conscience. Into this cushy world bursts Dr. Crandall Taylor - or rather the actor who plays him, the star of a dated American soap opera that is now one of the hottest prime-time shows in France. And this newfound fame, as enriching as it is unexpected, is not wasted on Crandall, eager to put his dark and often violent American past behind him and enjoy all the fruits and the women that Paris and fame have to offer him.

After years of pulling heist, the Great Bandit is caught. The judge discovers something different about her and gives her an opportunity that most criminals would only dream of. The Great Bandit has the ability to remember everything—she has an eidetic memory. After realizing the great potential that she could have for his country, the judge orders her to serve out eight years in the US Army and become part of the CIA. She doesn't want to go, but it was either this or 30 years in prison for all the robberies she committed.

The housing market is depressed. But not as depressed as anyone who spends a night at 668 Langford Place. The decaying mansion next door - number 666 - will soon see the return of Bog-Muggoth, an ancient, evil demon that makes the Amityville Horror seem like Casper the Friendly Ghost. But Bog-Muggoth isn’t making his haunted house call alone. Other vile gods from beyond time and space will be joining in the festivities to make the world their oyster - and leave it an empty shell.

It would be easier for Thomas Mullen to move on from what he'd seen if Sarah stopped calling. It would be even better if she stopped appearing to him, and only him, to remind him of what he was powerless to stop. But months later, after Thomas loses his phone and the random woman who recovers it arranges to return it to him, his predicament intensifies. This woman tells him that while she's had his phone, his mother has called. His mother really needs him to call her back. And who is Sarah?

Don't you trust me? I mean, look at me. Blond, blue eyed, the very image of innocence. Pretty enough, if you care about that kind of thing. I don't. But would a normal person switch identities with some wet mess of a girl at the airport just to get her to stop bawling about being separated from her loser boyfriend and sent to live with some distant relatives? Nope, she wouldn't. Yet I did. I'm not as normal as you think. And you'll just have to trust me.

Here, in Lynne Truss' first novel, we meet Osborne Lonsdale, a down-at-heel journalist, mysteriously attractive to women, who writes a regular celebrity interview for Come into the Garden. This week his "Me and My Shed" column will be based on the charming garden outhouse owned by TV sitcom star Angela Farmer. Unbeknownst to Osborne, driving down to Devon to interview Angela in her country retreat, the sleepy magazine has been taken over by new management.

Excuse me if I'm feeling sentimental. I might die tonight. My name is Candy Tran. Before I was hunting down serial killers and feeding men to alligators, I was a normal, church-going, tax-paying citizen. Before all of this. I've been given a chance to tell my story, so please, listen closely. This is going to take a while.

A finely tuned comic depiction of Melbourne's ethnically diverse northern suburbs and the dark underbelly of city life. Down on his luck and hard up for cash, Carl works in the kitchen of a seedy rock 'n' roll joint in ethnically diverse Brunswick. The bouncers and bosses terrify him, he's desperately in love with a much younger Greek waitress, and to make matters worse his mother has come to stay with him. Then a dead body turns up. He and his best mate, Dave, will have to do something about it, and fast....

No one is more surprised than Lem Altick when it turns out he's actually good at peddling encyclopedias door to door. He hates the predatory world of sales, but he needs the money to pay for college. Then things go horribly wrong. In a sweltering trailer in rural Florida, a couple Lem has spent hours pitching to is shot dead before his eyes, and the unassuming young man is suddenly pulled into the dark world of conspiracy and murder.

It's 1998. The Internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen-year-old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante. There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget?

A vicar is disbelieving when two teenagers in his parish claim to have been given a message by the archangel Gabriel, but gradually changes his mind and decides he must do something about it.

When snarky food critic, Josie Tucker, heads to Austin, Texas, to wax philosophical about the local barbecue joints, she stumbles on to a decades' old missing person case. With the help of a local reporter, a Goth ghost hunter, and a bunco-playing transvestite, she tries to unravel the heart-tugging, hidden history before the whole place goes up in smoke.

Dr. Ed's head is spinning: a long-lost 'son' has just been sent over to his office by the temp agency, his shopping-addicted wife seems to have disappeared, and the clinical trial that he is running for a revolutionary new anti-depressant might well be going off the rails. But we needn't worry about Dr. Ed: he is in control of everything, including himself.