Dragon Fantasy Humor

Take one bored princess. Make her the seventh daughter in a very proper royal family. Have her run away. Add one powerful, fascinating, dangerous dragon. Princess Cimerone has never met anyone (or anything) like the dragon Kazul. But then, she's never met a witch, a jinn, a death-dealing talking bird or a stone prince either. Princess Cimerone ran away to find some excitement. She's found plenty.

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: A giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes", "levels", and "quests", Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. There’s Katie, his apprentice. She’s brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. She’s also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. There’s Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Everton’s history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods).

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

I never thought I would date a dragon, or feed him chicken strips late at night, but life has gotten interesting. My steady dragon - you may know him as Lord Zavryd’nokquetal, but I get to call him Zav - is offering to take me to the elven homeland to meet my father and learn to harness the magic in my blood. Sure, I’m wary about his plans to force the elves to train me, but I need every advantage I can get. Especially when vampire attacks start cropping up all over Seattle, and my friend and business partner, Dimitri, disappears.

While Kelly struggles to come up with a research project to apply for sabbatical, the role-playing craze reaches Union Station, and the Open University offers a for-credit LARP. Dorothy finally finishes her wedding dress with a technical flourish, and Jeeves plots to recoup his costs.

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

In Book One of The Microvita Tree, the intrepid Doctor Dogalogue travels to Earth in the 14th century to recover the last remaining seed of the microvita tree in the long-submerged ruins of Atlantis. If he can find the seed and replant it, this magical tree, when it blossoms, will release a flood of spiritual energy that will transform the planet, ushering in a golden age of enlightened consciousness. But the only ones who know how to find Atlantis are Nefarious, the evil wizard, and Joe, the most fearsome dragon in the universe.

It's a question as old as time itself: which is better, the zombie or the unicorn? In this anthology, edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier (unicorn and zombie, respectively), strong arguments are made for both sides in the form of short stories. Half of the stories portray the strengths - for good and evil - of unicorns and half show the good (and really, really bad-ass) side of zombies.

Van Vanyushin doesn't see the point in ever leaving the beautiful digital world of the game he loves - and for good reason. In the industrial wasteland he calls home, it is often the only way people can experience life's simplest pleasures. But his allegiance to the game is tested when an ambitious CIA agent named Sang Ngo calls upon him to help as she goes undercover in the game to investigate Draco - the corporation responsible for creating the massively popular role-playing game Dragon Kings of the New World.

With the blood of a Dragon on his hands, Anuka Sandbar and his friends flee from the horde of Dragons hunting them. Desperate for a weapon to use against the Dragons, Anuka assembles a band of professional thieves and thugs to infiltrate a secret dungeon.

Ahh, the Old Kingdom. Come and pet our angry, fire-breathing dragons. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our lovely warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves. For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday. Survival is optional, and highly unlikely. *Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.

Hi. I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster.

Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

Sir Maximilian Maselniczka isn't your typical knight. True, he's dashing, brave, and courageous. Then again, he talks to his horse, he's been known to burn castles down, and he's on the gallop from debts he owes the Bohemian mob. So Maximilian jumps at the chance to earn sacks of gold from King Bronislaw Jankowski. All for performing a little rescue mission. But it's not the typical knightly errand - to rescue the damsel from the dragon. No, this time he's going to have to rescue the kingdom's dragon from the King's extremely magical, extremely powerful, and extremely pissed-off daughter. Who said being a knight was easy?

The Remarkable History of the Legendary Christmas Dragon: How an Innocent Young Dragon Found a Forever Friend, a Name, and became Santa's Pocket Alarm. ("No more Clement Moores!") This imaginative American fable for the Holidays confronts the mysteries of dragons, vampire bats, sea serpents, time travel and the North Pole with wry, heartwarming humor as the pleasant, ordinary lives of the citizens of a tiny Medieval kingdom are interrupted by an angry witch "vanishing" their beloved royal twins.

Thirteen years ago Oliver's father died in a battle against Red Line, the nasty dragon that plagued Aardland. Oliver has since grown into a very large man with little ambition, earning him a new name: The Lump. When Flynn, a glory seeking adventurer, and Meena, a mysterious foreign girl, arrive with news that Red Line has stirred once again, the Lump finds himself reluctantly embroiled in a quest to defeat the dragon.

It's autumn 2001, and a fire-breathing dragon is destroying London. With most of her military overseas, the Queen decides to do what previous Queens would've done and call in her Knights! The only problem is that the Queen has only knighted celebrities.