Epic Comedy

Hi, how are you? Yes, I am talking to you, the reader of this book's description. Okay, I get it, fourth-wall breaking is overdone. Get over it. This book, Villains Rule, is a fantasy action-comedy which you have to hear. Not because it redefines the genre, far from it. But rather for what it contains. A villain's tale. How often do you get to listen to a story where the villain is the protagonist? No, not an anti-hero, or a brooding monster, nor a hero thinly disguised as a villain. And not evil. If you want evil, take that nonsense to therapy.

Witness the epic battle of the cyclops! Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying. Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare! Buy some knickknacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later. On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world.

Waldo and company arrive looking for information. What they find is a suspicious mage guild, a delusional queen, an entire city awash in greed and deception, and an old acquaintance who is very happy to see him again. Getting the information he's looking for won't be easy, but when has that ever stopped Waldo?

Waldo's on the run again. He escapes Melissa's grasp but is marked by her Death Seal. What is there to do but keep going forward? Follow Waldo, Alice, and Gronk as they deal with spies, smugglers, and giant monsters. Meanwhile, Melissa has problems of her own back in Torikai. While in the land of Dark Mages, Lilith begins putting her plans into action. Waldo finds himself in a port city with no one willing to take him and his party where he needs to go. Just what will he have to do to get passage? If you're desperate enough, you can always find someone willing to make a deal.

In the spirit of Flashman, and in the inimitable George MacDonald Fraser style, comes a rousing story of prize fighting in the 19th century. Reissued in a stunning new package, Black Ajax will attract a new generation of fans. When Captain Buck Flashman sees the black boxer catch a fly in midflight, he realizes that he is in the presence of speed such as the prize ring has never seen.

With the way behind them sealed, the only way forward for Eve and her friends is down. Down the narrow steps carved into the mountain. Down into the oppressive toxic fog. Down into the Dead Fields. But the Dead Fields are not so dead as they seem. Things lurk in the mist, things far beyond the levels of Eve, Wes, Preston, and, especially, the hatchling Reginald.

When the Demon-Goddess saves him from a certain death, Vlad must pay her back with his professional services as an assassin.

Being the Dark Lord and Prince of Evil is not as much fun as it sounds, particularly if you are a basically decent person. King Mordak is just such a person. Technically he's more goblin than person, but the point is that he is really keen to be a lot less despicable than his predecessors. Not that the other goblins appreciate Mordak's attempts to redefine the role. Why should they when his new healthcare program seems designed to actually extend life expectancy, and his efforts to end a perfectly reasonable war with the dwarves appear to have become an obsession?

Milton Frederick was arguably the best player of Crowned Lieges of Destiny in the entire world. As the strategy coordinator for one of the top guilds, he was beginning to actually make a living from it. That was, until he was abducted by aliens. Severely damaged and confused about what happened to him, he woke up to find himself trapped inside a massive chicken egg on a strange, primitive world filled with curious - and deadly - creatures. Now, in order to survive, Milton has to rely on a snarky, foul-mouthed AI guide to show him what it means to be a Station Core.

The Pyrates is all the swashbucklers that ever were, rolled into one great technicoloured pantomime - tall ships and desert islands, impossibly gallant adventurers and glamorous heroines, buried treasure and black spots, devilish dons and ghastly dungeons, plots, duels, escapes, savage rituals, tender romance and steaming passion, all to the accompaniment of ringing steel, thunderous broadsides, sweeping film music, and the sound of cursing extras falling in the water and exchanging period dialogue.

En un mundo plano sostenido por cuatro elefantes impasibles—que se apoyan en la espalda de una tortuga gigante—habitan los estrafalarios personajes de esta novela: un hechicero avaro y torpe, un turista ingenuo cuyo fiero equipaje le sigue a todas partes sostenido por cientos de patitas, dragones que solo existen si se cree en ellos, gremios de ladrones y asesinos, espadas mágicas, la Muerte y, por supuesto, un extenso catálogo de magos y demonios....

In Xanth, everyone has a talent. But that doesn't mean everyone loves his talent, and no one understands that better than Hapless. Endowed with the ability to conjure any instrument he wants, Hapless could be an extraordinary musician if only he could play a tune that didn't fall ear-piercingly flat. His one desire is to find an instrument he can play. When the Good Magician hears about Hapless's desperate desire, he sends the young man on a quest to find the elusive Isis Orb, a magical talisman that could fulfill his wish.

In this second volume of Dante Alighieri's ageless classic, the *Comedie* (*Commedia*), Vergil and Dante emerge from their upward climb out the lower depths of Hell, at the center of the earth, to find themselves at the shores of the Mountain of Purgatory, exactly opposite Jerusalem in the Hemisphere of Water, where it is the only land below the Equator. Here they encounter other newcome souls and those who are awaiting entry into the punishments.

Invitation in hand, it’s time for Eve and friends to travel north in search of the legendary Dragonwrought. With a single-minded focus, they’ll trek deep into the mountains, willfully ignoring the onslaught of side quests threatening to derail their journey. The only things anybody knows about the illusive Dragonwrought, greatest of all the adventuring companies in Leshk, are their deep connections to the dragons that roam the skies beyond their keep, and that they haven’t deemed take a new recruit in decades. But nobody’s sure exactly how many decades.

Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.

All Lex wanted was to help his good buddy Gryph find his sister and maybe save the world along the way. But everything goes wrong from the start when Lex gets separated from Gryph during their transfer into the Realms. Lost, alone, and forced to live the same day over and over, Lex must defeat the agent of a despotic god, uncover hidden truths about himself, and find his way back to his friend. If he fails the Realms face destruction.

There's a war brewing between high-level factions, a conflict Eve finds herself caught in the middle of. Soon enough, this secret plot, this life quest, this entire broken trilogy will come hurtling to an end. Perhaps, with any luck, there will be a loaf of bread waiting on the other side. Or maybe the real loaf of bread was the friends we made along the way. Those friends that made it through, that is.

Listening to such facts and stories is perfect for killing time when you are waiting in your doctor’s office, the barbershop, or even for making a road trip more entertaining. Imagine how much fun it would be to play this trivia quiz with your family rather than everyone staring at their phone.

The Battle of Brandsveid brought together every king and nobleman in the land in an epic struggle for the future of the Land of Dis, as the armies of the Six Kingdoms united against the monstrous army of Lord Brand. It was the event Vergil, a knight in the service of the Order of Avaress, had waited for his entire life. Unfortunately, he slept through it.

Max's coworkers treat him like hot garbage, and his manager is a superficial dolt. Unfortunately for him, his fate was sealed before he was even born and it's way worse than working part-time in a coffee shop. Confronted out of the blue by a floating demonic eye, Max doesn't take it seriously, because who would? So when the flesh is ripped from his bones and he's hurled, screaming, into a fantastic and terrifying new world, he's a little surprised. When he learns his task is to free the daughter of the god of death who's been chained and tortured for centuries, he is stunned.