Funny Adventure

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Everyone knows that Narwhal is a big fan of sugary treats—but Jelly is shocked when Narwhal's tusk-tooth isn't looking so pearly white anymore and is feeling a little funny. It turns out, Narwhal has been using it as a "snack saver"! Thankfully, no one knows more about dental hygiene than Shark—she has seven rows of teeth, after all! Meanwhile, Jelly and Crab try to show Narwhal that it's fine to frown if you're feeling down. Can Narwhal's friends convince the happiest creature in the ocean that it's okay to have a bad day?

On a desperate journey to recover her sister's lost soul, Valkyrie Cain goes up against the High Sanctuary itself, and there's nothing Skulduggery Pleasant can do to stop her.

Zach lives by the mantra: When life gives you a wheelchair, make lemonade. Whether recounting a valiant childhood attempt to woo Cindy Crawford, encounters with zealous faith healers, or the time he crapped his pants mere feet from Dr. Phil, Zach shares his fumbles with unflinching honesty and characteristic charm. By his 30th birthday, Zach had grown into an adult with a career in entertainment, millions of fans, a loving family, and friends who would literally carry him up mountains.

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant...and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.

Sal the Cacophony has made few friends, but many enemies. Many, many enemies. When her magic was taken from her, she cried out for revenge. And a power she never understood promised her vengeance. A deal for a bloody price was made. And now the bill has come due. In one of the last free cities of the burned-out ruin of the Scar, Sal’s many foes—old and new—have hunted down her and her few allies—willing and otherwise—and all her plans to save them might not be enough.

Math-genius mercenary Cas Russell has decided to Fight Crime(tm). After all, with her extraordinary mathematical ability, she can neuter bombs or out-shoot an army. And the recent outbreak of violence in the world’s cities is Cas’s fault—she’s the one who crushed the organization of telepaths keeping the world’s worst offenders under control. But Cas’s own power also has a history, one she can’t remember—or control.

What do REAL PIGEONS do? They nest, of course! And when they nest, they nest HARD. Protecting their city from crime is tiring work after all! But the squad can't rest yet, not with a bone-crunching vulture on the loose, a wild child running amok, and a long-lost family to find! Will the REAL PIGEONS ever find the perfect nest to take the perfect nap?

Cas Russell is good at math. Scary good. The vector calculus blazing through her head lets her smash through armed men twice her size and dodge every bullet in a gunfight, and she'll take any job for the right price. As far as Cas knows, she’s the only person around with a superpower...until she discovers someone with a power even more dangerous than her own. Someone who can reach directly into people’s minds and twist their brains into Moebius strips. Someone intent on becoming the world’s puppet master. Cas should run, like she usually does, but for once she's involved.

Meet Tommy Martini, the monk with an anger management problem. His meditations are interrupted by a legacy from his uncle, a crooked priest. Arriving in a New Age Arizona town to claim his inheritance, Brother Tommy meets a charismatic, smoking-hot cult leader who claims that women are being impregnated by alien beings while they sleep. Tommy’s own sleep is disturbed - by cartel hitmen, Mafia bill collectors, and women intrigued by his vow of chastity.

When half your galaxy is unexpectedly sucked into a black hole - when a hitherto-unknown species of space aliens lays waste to your home planet - when disaster rears its ugly head (or heads) - who can you call for faster-than-light appraisals and best-in-the-multiverse customer service? Just one man - Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent. In this latest chapter of his interstellar exploits, Tom is about to deliver a crushing performance evaluation to Jimmy the Intern when the unimaginable happens: The beloved Wendell the Manatee has been kidnapped!

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

The Cryptids have started to kill a large amount of humans in the Upper Midwest. Banks' bosses told her not to call in the Cryptid Assassin.... He's too expensive. Now, the showdown between Taylor and the creatures will stop when one or the other is dead...and it isn't looking good for Taylor.

Special Agent Niki Banks has called in a favor, and now Taylor has a young hacker with an attitude as an employee. Along with new monsters to kill, a business to get off the ground, a relationship with an annoying FBI handler to...deal with, Taylor is becoming a surrogate male figure for a role he didn't want. But he may be the best man for the job.

Jake McQuade's the smartest kid in the universe—or at least he was. But just as his training with the secret agency known as the Consortium is about to start, Jake's jelly beans go missing! And to make matters worse, they (and Jake's genius!) might be wearing off right when he needs his smarts most! Jake needs to solve this mystery fast. Who stole the jelly beans and why? Can Jake figure out what's going on, recover the missing jelly beans, and stop a high-tech heist before it's too late?!

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

Michael Carter is 12 years old, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. The Ninjas have to figure out how to stop the ghosts, but how? At least with the zombies and the aliens, they kind of knew how to stop and fight them. Ghosts? Not so much. They’re just like farts that developed consciousness.

Jack, June, Quint, and Dirk face their biggest challenge yet: creating the sequel to their hit graphic novel! And like all sequels, it must be BIGGER, BETTER, and PACKED WITH EVEN MORE NEAT STUFF! While the kids get to work, their superhero alter-egos make a startling discovery: supervillains do not come up with their own evil plans! The shocking truth? Every supervillain scheme comes from the mind of a single, mysterious bad guy.

Samantha Spinner's uncle Paul disappeared, and here's what he left: Samantha's sister got a check for $2,400,000,000. Samantha's brother got the New York Yankees. And Samantha got a rusty red umbrella with a tag hanging off its worn handle. The tag says "Watch out for the RAIN." Thanks a lot, Uncle Paul. After all the strawberry waffles, stories, and puzzles they've shared, how could he just leave without saying good-bye? And what is the meaning of that mysterious message? The answer is simple. Sam knows in her heart that Uncle Paul is in danger.