Funny Science

On the first day of school, Artie falls out of his bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." On the second day of school, Artie falls out of bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." Huh?

"Slut" is a great word. It just sounds perfect—so sharp and clear and beautiful. It's one of those satisfying four letter words, like c--t and f--k. Slut also happens to be an anagram for lust, which is one of those divine coincidences that makes you wonder if God actually exists. We're lucky that slut is such a great word, because it's safe to say that almost every woman will be called a slut at least once in her lifetime. Despite a slowly shifting sexual double standard, it's still taboo to be a woman who's openly sexual—let alone one who sleeps around.

The Cryptids have started to kill a large amount of humans in the Upper Midwest. Banks' bosses told her not to call in the Cryptid Assassin.... He's too expensive. Now, the showdown between Taylor and the creatures will stop when one or the other is dead...and it isn't looking good for Taylor.

In the midst of World War II, James is training for the Royal Air Force, while going home to Yorkshire whenever possible to see his very pregnant wife, Helen. Musing on past adventures through the dales, visiting with old friends, and introducing scores of new and amusing characters—animal and human alike—Herriot enthralls with his uncanny ability to spin a most engaging and heartfelt yarn.

One of the best ways to turn an average camping trip or sleepover with friends into an all-out adventure is to spark your kid’s curiosity with a nail-biting and edge-of-your-seat tale of terror. Whatever the case may be, these captivating and mind-bending stories are sure to capture their attention and leave them begging for more. On top of that, all of the characters are easily relatable and will even empower your children toward a deeper understanding of some powerful moral life lessons.

Did you know that hamsters are only able to blink one eye at a time? Did you know the longest video game marathon ever recorded was 29 hours and 31 minutes? Did you know the earliest case of hearing loss documented in writing is from ancient Egypt in 1550 BC? In that era, people injected red lead, goat urine, olive oil, bat wings, and ant eggs in the ear canal in an attempt to cure bad hearing. In these 1,500 facts, you're going to learn more than you learned from all your high school teachers combined.

Will Rogers - pithy, political, and plainspoken - was one of the finest entertainers of his generation. As a great American humorist, it was considered an honor to be made fun of by him. By the time of his death in 1935, he had traveled the globe three times, written some four thousand articles, and was one of America's highest-paid film stars. He began his act in Vaudeville by saying, "All I know is what I read in the papers," while idly swinging a lasso he used for rope tricks.

You may know Jimmy Failla as the best dressed man in cable news. A force multiplier of positive energy on the radio who sounds like he gets paid in Tequila and Tide Pods. But he’s also a former New York City Taxi Driver who’s spent countless hours conversing with people from all over this planet and several planets you’ve never heard of. It’s those chats with hobbits, hookers, and time travelers that fill The Cancel Culture Dictionary with the unique perspective and savage self-awareness we need to escape the outrage era society is stuck in.

Alba is about to lose everything during an awful divorce...until she meets the Vampires of Emberbury, who dwell under an abandoned graveyard, stuck in Victorian times. They will make her a very interesting job offer, and she will get to meet Clarence, a mysterious vampire gentleman who thinks cloaks and top hats are still in fashion. With his help, Alba will figure out that, sometimes, the scariest monster isn’t the one with fangs.

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? Ever wonder what it would be like to be a real life ninja kid? Sounds like you need the ninja code! Take a peek at what is really going on with the zombie apocalypse. Michael Carter, with a handful of new friends, a dog with secret abilities, and his fart brother, need to find a safe place to hide.

Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant...and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.

From FDR to Harry Truman to JFK to George W. Bush, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House captures the wit and humor of the campaign trail - a place where levity is always welcome. Osgood includes fragments of speeches, interviews, and press conferences, as well as articles written by and about the candidates - no source is left untapped.

Grab your family, friends, or even your dog and gather around for a fun game of trivia! This book is great for kids and has the ultimate list of fun categories from food all the way to children's movies!

For almost a decade, Richard Herring has been answering sexist trolls on International Women's Day when they ask 'when is International Men's Day?' in the mistaken belief there isn't one. If only the trolls had learned to use Google they'd realise that there is an International Men's Day - it's on November 19th. In The Problem with Men Richard expands on his Twitter discussions and tackles some of the big questions surrounding the problems of toxic masculinity - for women, but also for men.

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

Meet Mars! The red planet. Planet Marvelous. Favorite sibling of Earth (or so he claims). Sometimes they're close (just 34.5 million miles apart). Sometimes they need space (250 million miles apart)! Earth and Mars have a lot in common - clouds, mountains, polar icecaps. And while Earth has Earthlings, Mars makes a persuasive case for why people should make the journey to spend time with him. His day is seven minutes longer! He is home to the largest volcano in the whole solar system. He's, well, marvelous.

Math-genius mercenary Cas Russell has decided to Fight Crime(tm). After all, with her extraordinary mathematical ability, she can neuter bombs or out-shoot an army. And the recent outbreak of violence in the world’s cities is Cas’s fault—she’s the one who crushed the organization of telepaths keeping the world’s worst offenders under control. But Cas’s own power also has a history, one she can’t remember—or control.

Welcome to Other Worlds, the fourth volume in the Guys Read Library. Prepare yourself for 10 trips into the unknown, as 10 of your favorite writers spin tales of fantasy and science fiction the likes of which you have never imagined. Compiled by National Ambassador for Children's Literature (and Secret Ambassador for the Intergalactic Alliance) Jon Scieszka, Guys Read: Other Worlds is the most exciting collection of stories on this - or any other - planet.

Ethan seems like a normal ten-year-old, but he has a secret. It’s not that he’s the one who accidentally filled the sunblock container with glue last summer or that he cracked the screen on his sister’s phone and blamed it on their baby brother. (Those things may have happened, but they’ve got nothing on this.) No, Ethan’s secret is that he knows time travel is real—because his future self keeps coming back to visit him. Lucky Ethan, right? Wrong. Because when Ethan’s future self shows up, he tends to bring bad news, and he’s kind of bossy.