Funny Shorts

This collection of the best crime and mystery short fiction of 1999, gathered from around the globe and including more award-winners and stories than any other comparable volume, fills the void for those with a hunger for the best international mystery and suspense stories.

Eleven masters of suspense - Kelly Barnhill, Michael Buckley, Adam Gidwitz, Adele Griffin and Lisa Brown, Claire Legrand, Nikki Loftin, Daniel José Older, Dav Pilkey, R. L. Stine, and Rita Williams-Garcia - have come together to bring you a bone-chilling collection of original ghost stories, perfect for sharing around the campfire, listening under the covers with a flashlight, and scaring your friends' pants off.

Alex Goodwin tackles everything from curling tournaments to high-stress bakery jobs to incredibly inventive (in the wrong way!) midnight tours of Igor’s castle to the hardship of aglet manufacturing to the satisfaction of homecoming (even if that home happens to be a bomb-testing field in the Death Valley).

Michael Chabon once said, “I scan the tables of contents of magazines, looking for Antonya Nelson's name, hoping that she has decided to bless us again.” And now she has blessed us again, with a bounty of the stories for which she is so beloved. Her stories are clear-eyed, hard-edged, beautifully formed. And in Funny Once, their flawed humanity is made beautiful, perfectly observed by one of America’s best short story writers.

Michael Chabon once said, "I scan the tables of contents of magazines, looking for Antonya Nelson's name, hoping that she has decided to bless us again." And now she has blessed us again, with a bounty of the stories for which she is so beloved. Her stories are clear-eyed, hard-edged, beautifully formed. In the title story, "Funny Once", a couple held together by bad behavior fall into a lie with their more responsible friends.

Death. It’s a part of life and something we all must accept. Whether it be our own demise or losing a loved one, the experience of death is both sobering and surreal. My Dad Is Dead is a group of related short stories that explore that dichotomy through the eyes of a kid. In George Verongos’ second book, he turns childhood memories into “fictionally enhanced” tales (he made us say that, he’s trying to make it a thing).

Alex has a crush on the new teacher’s assistant, and he’s finally worked up the nerve to approach her. Too bad she’s crossed the University’s star player, and Duncan Shaw has no choice but to make her disappear. He plans to lay the blame on the local urban legend, but tonight he just might learn that some legends are real.

Save 10 lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch.

This audiobook consist of two main parts. The first part consists of six funny folktales from India, Sri Lanka, and South Africa. The second part consists of seven moral stories from Japan, Denmark, and the Netherlands. In addition to all 13 short stories, you’ll get the chance to listen to part of the scary stories audiobook in the bonus section. This isn’t a funny one, kids. It’s called "The Rabbitman". Isn't that great?

This book offers the students of German at all levels the opportunity to enjoy a wide range of short, sexy, one-liner jokes without having constantly to refer back to a dictionary. This is actually fun learning! The witty lines are here. All the one-liners are related to sex, women, and love relationships. These are lines everybody wants to hear.

It’s all fun and games at the circus...until everyone’s favorite clown winds up dead. Someone killed Clint the Clown. Madam Electra’s crystal ball could help find the murderer, but she risks exposing her own secrets in the process. Secrets that could land her on the endangered species list. Head security officer Bruno Maska has been ordered to enlist the help of the one person he suspects is hiding something - Electra. The same woman who’s been haunting his thoughts since their drunken night together.

In the South, we believe in being polite, even if it kills us. So, when we just can't fight the urge to say something nasty, we follow it up with a "bless her heart" just to make us feel better. "Look at that poor woman trying to jog around that track. Her rear-end is dragging a trail, bless her heart." Youngblood and Poole talk about the ins and outs of nosy neighbors, sibling rivalry, and why every Southerner worth her salt feels the need to offer advice.

Born into a world with only seven days to live, Sim faces the same choice everyone does: How will he spend them? Is there something greater to hope for? A short story from Guys Read: Other Worlds, edited by Jon Scieszka.

Are you learning German? Do you find so-called easy books always made just for children? Well, this audiobook contains a half an hour, humorous A2 level German story for adult learners, created by English author Michael Wolliston. A German story, with British humor? Yes, here you'll get the best of both worlds! Die Ruckzahlung (The Payback) is a fast-paced comedy, featuring three housemates: a short-tempered school teacher, his policewoman girlfriend, and their landlords' party-loving daughter.

Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat? is a collection of funny stories and true confessions that every woman can relate to by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella - the unstoppable, irreverent mother-daughter team.

An expat living in South Korea is attracted to Korean farmer Dae-jin, because of his looks and his wealth. But a legendary trickster goblin, a dokkaebi, has its eyes set on the money-grabber to foil her plans. Will the girl get the money and tear Dae-jin away from his wife? Or, perhaps the dokkaebi has other plans....

Zach and Fred are best friends. They always have fun no matter where they go. Fred can be a little stinky sometimes, and he always eats way too much, but he is the greatest friend a kid could have. When Zach is happy, Fred farts, sings, and wiggles. When Zach is shy, Fred farts for giggles. Fred is an invisible dinosaur that burps, farts, and sneezes. Zach is the boy he loves to pieces. Fred's real name is long, like his never-ending tail. He can only be seen by Zach, Emily, and Dale.

"We haven't seen you since the explosion! We'd love to have you visit!" And so start the adventures. What happens next is chronicled in Problem Cousin and Other Funny Stories, a new book by Alex Goodwin. From chasing burning Christmas trees down steep mountains to ending world-wide banana shortages, Bob and Billy will take you on an adventure like never before.

The reported theft of a family heirloom sends officers Ceepak and Boyle racing to Sea Haven, New Jersey's Mussel Beach Motel to investigate. At the scene of the crime, Danny and Ceepak run into something much worse than a burglar: the DePinna family reunion! Narrator Jeff Woodman returns in this exclusive audio short story production.