Funny Suspense

What would you do if your ex got abducted? Remember, they're an ex for a reason. So let's assume you hate them from the depths of your soul. Line up the tequila shots, right? Not your problem? Now stay with me for a second. What if you were the only person who could save their life? Then would you save them? We are talking about another human being's life, after all. Now, imagine you have seven million dollars in your bank account. Sweet, right? It's seven million dollars or your ex's life. This is a judgment-free zone.

The Bobton-Trent seniors certainly know how to make the most of their extravagant wealth - socialising, doing things, buying things and generally being more than a little bit...irresponsible.... Luckily for them, their son, Hubert Horatio, is an exceptionally intelligent, talented and sensible child. Unluckily for Hubert, this tends to mean that a lot of his spare time is spent steering his rather unruly set of grown-ups out of trouble.

The reported theft of a family heirloom sends officers Ceepak and Boyle racing to Sea Haven, New Jersey's Mussel Beach Motel to investigate. At the scene of the crime, Danny and Ceepak run into something much worse than a burglar: the DePinna family reunion! Narrator Jeff Woodman returns in this exclusive audio short story production.

Meet Mason Ezekiel Barnes, former NFL tackle turned successful author. Mason is obsessed with winning a Pulitzer and is thwarted by his fellow author and nemesis, the twerpy little gnome Conrad Bancroft. Mason spends his days writing at a local cafe, Perk Noir, the one-of-a-kind jazz coffee shop. He's obsessed with the life of jazz great Earl "Lightning" Perkins, former owner of the Perk Noir. One day, unexpectedly in walks Shelly, a fan of Mason's books. Shelly has a mysterious pocket watch she recently inherited. She convinces Mason to assist her in unraveling its history.

Marzie is in crisis! This witch is unsure about what to do or how to do it. Every flick of the wand could lead to a disaster for the people she loves. Marzie is heading into hiding with her favorite werewolf. But the pull of Widow's Bay and her responsibilities to her coven and her family are strong. Marzie will learn the reason why intermittent casting is a very bad idea.

When a dip-net fisherman hauls in a severed human foot, Lieutenant Jim Wekle is thrown into another whodunit on his remote island. Alaskan mayhem ensues with a rogue gang of elderly women on ATVs, a Planet Patrol environmental boat with an oil leak, and an influx of tourists, each clutching a fresh copy of a book titled, Muskeg Mama. Kram is in rare form as he decides to enter the local work force by applying his unique perspective to a series of part-time jobs.

Crime is on the rise in Dogtown, and it’s all thanks to a mysterious art forger! They’ve stolen one of Puplo Picasso’s masterpieces out of a museum and swapped it with a fake. Such a big case would normally go to the Top Dog detectives, but they’re out of town on vacation. So it’s time to call in the Underdog Detective Agency: with Barkley the German shepherd, Carl the Chihuahua, Dr. Spots the Dalmatian, and Fang...the cat. (Yes, a cat!) What the Underdogs lack in skill, they make up for in grit and determination.

As a pizza detective, Colin Kingsley, a.k.a. Mark Anchovy, has survived murderous criminals, bloodthirsty henchmen and some questionable modes of transport. He now has a much more worrying problem: his younger sister is working as his apprentice. Coaching seven-year-old Alicia for her exams to join the Golden Spatula League would be challenging enough. But the siblings must head to Japan to track down the missing English eccentric Lord Bobo - former host of the hit '90s gameshow Battered by the Butler - before he winds up dead.

Colin Kingsley is a pizza delivery boy with a twist. He's actually an aspiring detective. But in sleepy Rufflington-on-Sea, there are no cases to solve - until the Golden Spatula League come calling. The world's premier agency for 'caterer-detectives', run by children, the GSL have been dazzled by Colin's freakish memory skills. To join their ranks, Colin - codenamed 'Mark Anchovy' - must fly to Rome to track down a valuable stolen painting, titled Girl with a Squirrel. The chief suspect: Big Alan Fresco, notorious art thief and pizza addict.

She's not a karate expert. She can't pick a lock. And she certainly isn't a master of disguise.... But Riley is stubborn, and this is her city. She's not going down without a fight! If you like female characters who are strong, funny, and real, then you're going to love Kay Riley, a Chicago cop wrongly accused of a terrorist bombing, and on the run for her life. A wiser woman might flee the country, but Riley is determined to clear her name. Armed with a quick wit and some friends who don't mind breaking a few laws, Riley becomes an amateur vigilante.

Evie Laurent grew up in the shadow of her perfect older sister, Luna. Since they were young girls, she’d always longed to be a part of Luna’s attractive social circle. Evie gets her wish later in life when she begins dating Kyle Turner, a friend of her sister’s. But Kyle is not just a grown-up version of the handsome boy he used to be. The new Kyle is secretive and controlling, going so far as trying to stop Evie from purchasing her dream home - a house that seems oddly familiar to her and Luna’s entire group of friends.

Things were finally starting to look up for Lucie Rizzo. She has a thriving new business, a new outlook on life, and, most importantly, she never has to live under the shadow of her family ever again. No more mob-princess-shenanigans. This time, she’s determined to keep it that way. So when an art deal she brokered between clients turns suspicious, it’s up to Lucie to uncover the truth. She might not know the difference between Monet and Manet, but Rizzos are no strangers to jail time, and Lucie refuses to be caught up in the mafia-mix again.

Saskia de la Cruz is a verity witch and investigative reporter for The Blood Web Chronicle, the biggest news outlet on the paranormal Blood Web. After escaping murderous vampires in snowy Moscow, Saskia can't imagine a more difficult or more dangerous mission. That is, until her editor sends her to Barcelona to investigate a high profile disappearance at the Mage Association, which just happens to be run by her evil mother Solina.

This collection of the best crime and mystery short fiction of 1999, gathered from around the globe and including more award-winners and stories than any other comparable volume, fills the void for those with a hunger for the best international mystery and suspense stories.