Horror Comedy Dark

Love is one of those four-letter words that people like to throw around, but sometimes love can be one of the meanest and nastiest games in town. If you have ever had your heart broken - then this audiobook is for you. If you enjoy the taste of strong meat - then this audiobook is for you. If you've got a sense of weird that is honed as sharp as a cutthroat's knife - then this audiobook is for you. Here are three of the strangest love stories you have ever read.

Two years ago, publicly shunned comedian Diddy Dave Diamond convinced the nation that he was dead, only to return from beyond the grave to seek retribution on those who ruined his career and tainted his legacy. Innocent or not, only one person survived Diddy Dave Diamond's last-ever game show, but the forfeit prize was imprisonment for similar alleged crimes. But there's a sudden glimmer of hope: Someone has surfaced in the public eye claiming to be the dead comedian.

Walsall, once named the fattest town in UK, has a major sewerage problem. Like the arteries of many of its inhabitants, the main sewer is fast becoming blocked. A fatberg of record proportions has formed and finally clogged up the sewer system. But something foul and gluttonous awaits them buried deep in the thick, greasy rank smelling lard.

It’s bad enough that its venom-dripping chelicerae can slice through flesh like warm butter. Worse? It’s right there under the bunk. It’s a fact now. To make it through the night, the children must obey the rules: don’t get out of bed, stay out of the shadows, and don’t wake the beast. But as the threats multiply, so do the rules of survival. And with the safety of dawn still hours away, the fun is just beginning.

Emily Schmidt has been locked away in an asylum for a long week since DilDozer first struck, but she can still feel his presence inside her. Breed. Incubate. Multiply. Repeat. Are you ready for the second cumming?

It's 1995 and Pete Sinclair is feeling the heat. He's been blamed for closing the Gates of Hell and releasing an imprisoned fallen angel by the name of Azael. Now Pete's on the run from mercenaries who've been paid to take off his head. Lucky for Pete, an angel's apprentice believes he's innocent, but she's not about to let him off the hook. She offers him freedom from Satan's forces in exchange for his help. Brandishing the only weapon that weakens angels, Pete must rescue kidnapped nuns and capture Azael. If only he had a clue how to use a sword.

A man whose rich but cheap Uncle that comes to sponge off of him each year, figures out a way to exact his own special brand of revenge.

A record of a Zombie’s rant about the trials and tribulations of his life as a dis-respected member of the undead. A Chat Before Dinner is a 2,600 word darkly-humorous short story.

Just imagine you walk into a cheesy old greasy-spoon diner, the kind that ought to hand out antacid along with a napkin, knife, and fork. You ask the waitress for eggs and bacon, and she brings you a plate with live chicken on it. I mean, feathers and beak and the whole bonanza. Just think about a mix of Kafka and O'Henry and you are somewhere close to the mark.

This spooky anthology by Eli Taff, Jr. is a collection of 10 flash-fiction stories packed with cosmic horror and unbelievable terror that will keep you on the edge of your seat and have you sleeping with the lights on. The evil clown that steps out of a childhood memory and kills with a touch; the terrified mother who finds a monster in her daughter's bedroom; the unfaithful businessman who gets off the subway at the wrong stop; and a gangster who gets more than he bargained for when he robs the wrong old lady on the wrong night.

It’s Easter in the land of Oz, and while Jack Pumpkinhead should be enjoying the lovely spring weather, Easter eggs, and candy with his new friend, little Jenny, he can’t. Something is wrong. A terrible memory is beginning to resurface, and Jack is terrified. Whatever it is, he knows it has chased after him for a long time and that he is not strong enough to face it. But very soon, Jack will discover that you can’t hide from the truth forever....

Steven is a writer, by all accounts of self-proclamation. But no artist can be expected to work under serious pressure, especially not when the pressure consists of his own mother indenting his tender skull with the muzzle of the pistol held in her hand. Suddenly, it's write or die for Steven. He better tap away on that typewriter or expect to be extracted from the land of the living before he's had the opportunity to finish anything he's ever written. Not to mention that his recently departed father lying on the floor beside him should supply enough motivation.

An accountant by day, Mr. Rodgers spends his nights and weekends indulging in a unique passion. Traveling from neighborhood to neighborhood as an unknown entity, he uses unconventional methods to help long-suffering wives rediscover the love they once had for themselves and their husbands. Some might consider him a selfless hero, ahead of his time. The residents of Poagstown, however, have cutting-edge ideas of their own.

This is the story of a dying little boy fighting to escape a very special hell!

Detective Chetwyn has a problem. He believes his chief superintendent might be vampire. He believes that mysterious eccentric Freddie Valentine might be one as well, and that he's going to be bumped off by Valentine's Polish hard-man Oneski.

Whatever happened to that bumbling skeleton army from our favorite movie about a time-traveling S-Mart employee? Finally, the whole story.