Humor Anthology

There was nothing Fred Pickering liked better than standing on his back porch on a warm summer's evening watching the sun dip down below the horizon. Well, almost nothing. Fred loved birds. He loved everything about birds. His personal library of bird books numbered in the dozens. He had bird feeders hanging from most of the trees in his yard and he'd even given names to several of the more recognizable birds.

Trish Cunningham is the host of the nationally syndicated television show, Homeless Makover, where they select a homeless person at random off the streets and turn them into a cleaned up, shaved, coiffed and smartly dressed gentleman. They have one day to make the transformation. Can it be done with this particular man of the streets? It's a tall order, but they're just about done when, what do we see here? Oh oh.

Raymond Chandler would turn over in his grave if he ever heard this one. It is my tribute to the man who gave us classic novels like The Big Sleep, Farewell My Lovely, Red Wind, Trouble Is My Business and scores of other noir stories from the 30s and 40s. In this story, Philip Harlowe (no relation to Jean) is hot on a case, tracking down a valuable object. Chandler fans will no doubt recognize this as a satire and a parody to the above mentioned Chandler stories.

George will simply not put up with a gang of terrorist rats. These rats have taken over the old Henderson's house across the street. Harnessing the power of his secret labyrinth, George wields an ultimate weapon to battle the rats. The rats will not surrender without a fight, however. Full invasion results. Who couldn't love a story about a rat named Princess making a Churchillian speech and a nod to an ancient folk-tale?

A writer is born - and his name is Max. Follow Max on his lifelong quest to produce the perfect novel. Touching, irreverent, and hilarious.

In an age of adventure, the Scottish Mexican pirate Captain Duncan MacSanchez and his brave but quirky crew embark on a quest for the Blaze of Glory. It would be easier to find if they actually knew what it was. What if real wizards and warriors played role-playing-games? What would they pretend to be? In our modern world of social media and texting, what kind of powers would superheroes need to preserve civilization? This is a collection of humorous short stories that takes a lighter look at mighty heroes and their adventures.

Dear S-F, I saw you were having a bad day. Summer Internship? That's rough. Payin' Dues? We're all payin' dues. It never ends. Especially, when you wanna make it real. Gotta find a way to relax-in-it. You're gonna make it. You made me laugh, S-F!

In this short story from his Mere Anarchy collection, Woody Allen gives a court clerk's transcription of the surprising and incriminating testimony of one very famous animated mouse.

In this short story from his Without Feathers collection, Woody Allen samples from an unlikely bestiary of mythical creatures, detailing some of the more peculiar characteristics of animals like the Nurk, the Flying Snoll, and the Frean - a sea monster with the body of a crab and the head of a certified public accountant.

Gertrude was a one-eyed 91-year-old woman with a battle ax. She hid it under her butt in her wheelchair. She was a hideous and vicious beast of a killer. When she was forced into a nursing center, she took no prisoners.

Will Bevis is a writer of short stories, articles, essays, and memoirs. His best-known story is the Top One Hundred Free for Kindle story, "The Killing of Train-Man Brown". He has written over 50 short stories including, "Then Her Wig Fell Off", "Let the Dog Drive", "Blackbird", and many, many others. About this story: The author stumbles across a "mysterious" yard sale where he almost gets his butt kicked by an "alien" geezer. Come along for the ride. Better his butt than yours, right?

Life in the nursing home is boring, so you decide to just wander away one day in search of adventure and excitement. You find a golf cart that someone has left nearby, while they search for their lost ball. It's your ticket to freedon and you drive away with the cops not far behind on your trail. Not exactly a high-speed chase scenario, but you still leave chaos in your wake. It's a day the rest of the town will remember. You've left your mark, and now it's nap time.

In this short story from his Mere Anarchy collection, Woody Allen delves into particle physics, string theory, and how the relativity of space-time can make a person late for work.

Everybody knows that when it snows down South, nobody knows what to do - and everybody panics. Be there with this story, when only one or two inches surprises the weather forecasters and everybody else, closing schools, closing roads, and leading to a Southerners may be a lot of things - but they are not snow drivers.

In this short fiction with echoes of both O. Henry and Hitchcock, a husband is driven to extremes by the anecdotal story that his wife repeats endlessly. Richard Babcock is the author of two novels and a long-time magazine editor in New York and Chicago.

Bert runs a hot dog stand on the street of New York and is just scraping by. His friend Alf washes windows eighty stories up in the air and makes five times what Bert makes. He's asked Bert to join him up in the clouds but Bert is afraid of heights. On the other hand, if Bert doesn't joins him, he may lose his apartment. What to do, what to do.

The follow-up to Matt Shaw's Bite-Size: A Collection of Short Stories. Hear five more previously unpublished short stories from one of Britain's most warped imaginations.

'Sense of Humor' and 'Dream Street Rose' from The Damon Runyon Theatre Hour. Damon Runyon is acknowledged as one of the great writers to come out of 20th-century America. Runyon's short stories are almost always told in the first person by a narrator who is never named and whose role is unclear; he knows many gangsters and has no job that can be gleaned from his musings, nor does he admit to any criminal involvement; he’s a bystander, an observer, an average street-corner Joe.

Cléo tem um compromisso - e, claro, como todo bom compromisso para o qual se está preparada, um contratempo acontece. Quando chega até o teatro onde marcou de encontrar com a melhor amiga, Cléo se vê sob o holofote dos atores da peça. De um deles, em especial. O dono de um sorriso adorável e de um humor excepcional, o que pode fazer valer a pena ter chegado atrasada.

An author’s agent finds he’s in for an outrageous night when his two national best-selling clients meet - one a mountain of a man, trailer-park red neck, the other a teenage girl who’s written a book on sex, drugs, and debauchery in junior high school.