Humor Dog

I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren’t bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not?

Literary agent Barbara Ragg has agreed to represent a man writing a book about his experiences hanging out with the Abominable Snowman. Terence Moongrove’s residence has become the target of New Age cosmologists. And pint-sized terrier Freddie de la Hay is being recruited by MI6 to infiltrate a Russian spy ring.

Widowed Samantha Arias hasn’t spoken to Holly Dunfee in forever. It’s for the best. Samantha prefers to avoid conflict. The blisteringly honest Holly craves it. What they still have in common puts them both back on speed dial: a mutual love for Katie, their best friend of twenty-five years, now hospitalized with cancer and needing one little errand from her old college roomies. It’s simple: travel cross-country together, steal her loathsome ex-husband’s VW camper, find Katie’s diabetic Great Pyrenees at a Utah pound, and drive him back home to Wisconsin.

Mara Brennan is about to unravel. Three days after her twenty-eighth birthday, her boyfriend dumps her, leaving her with nothing but a basement apartment, a futon and a pile of unpaid bills. On top of that, her job, working as a receptionist at a cosmetic surgery clinic is a nightmare; her boss is a tyrant; and her friends have gotten ahead of her in the game of life. Mara realizes it's time for an identity makeover. She devises the OM List, a personal pathway to perfection inspired by her best friends, Olivia and Mitz, and her newfound love for yoga.

Thirteen-year-old Jordan Mendoza has a huge crush on his classmate, Sierra, but he’s never going to win her affections if he stays a C student and keeps embarrassing himself on the basketball court. And it doesn’t help that his best friend, Antonio, likes to tease him about it all a little too much. But when Jordan dives into the waters of a dangerous irrigation canal to save a drowning puppy, he’s suddenly got even more on his mind than kissing Sierra and making the starting team.

Meet Marley, a yellow furball of a puppy who quickly grows into a large, rowdy Labrador retriever. With an appetite for nearly anything he can get his mouth around, including couches and fine jewelry, Marley is always getting into trouble. Some may say he's the world's worst dog.

Banger and Mash knew something strange was happening when their peoples’ scent began to fade. Sweetpea the cat knew it too, but…you know…he just wasn’t that worried about it. But when their human vanishes into thin air right before their noses, they race to get help from the other dogs in the village, only to discover that EVERYONE'S humans have disappeared.

Do you love animals and enjoy laughing? This is a collection of over 30 humorous animal shaggy dog stories and jokes about animals and their interaction with people. These tall tales were recorded live on The Jay and Julie Show, a radio program which ran for three years in South Florida. Jay and Julie explored the lighter side of politics, culture, and technology and they opened almost every show with a humorous story. This compilation contains the best animal tales from those broadcasts. They will make you laugh, and they will often surprise you.

On a blustery day in late fall, Hank sneaks into the back of Slim's pickup and finds himself at a neighboring rancher's fall branding...the very neighbor, in fact, who owns the gorgeous Miss Scamper the Beagle! Unfortunately, Miss Scamper has always been a little hard to figure out, and he can't decide if she's crazy about him...or just plain crazy. And, as the day unfolds, it even begins to look like she's angling to land him in a heap of trouble with her pit bull boyfriend, Steel!

The "reigning czar of silliness" ( Publishers Weekly) once again brings listeners an irresistible collection of poems that will have tongues twisting, imaginations soaring, and sides aching with laughter. The result is genius, indeed.

Kay Powell wants to find that break-out client who will become a star. And she thinks she's found him: His name is Bruno, and he has to be walked three times a day. Kay is the Agent to the Paws, representing showbiz clients who aren't exactly people. In fact: they're dogs. Bruno's humans, Trent and Louise, are pains in the you-know-what, and Les McMaster, the famous director mounting a revival of Annie, might not hire Bruno just because he can't stand them.

Little is what it seems to be in a leafy Savannah neighborhood as members of an afternoon cocktail and dog walking club mourn a neighbor’s death. Jealousies surface when friends vie for the widower running for mayor. An old woman with an infamous uncle plots to avenge a wrong. Memories haunt a once successful children’s writer. And a model has won the trip of a lifetime. But a killer lurks and secrets unfold, as does a web of deceit. Is anyone really who he or she seems to be?

Red Dog is a West Australian, a lovable friendly red kelpie who found widespread fame as a result of his habit of travelling all over Western Australia, hitching rides over thousands of miles, settling in places for months at a time and adopting new families before heading off again to the next destination and another family – sometimes returning to say hello years later.

Martyrs to hypochondria and general seediness, J. and his friends George and Harris decide that a jaunt up the Thames would suit them just fine. But when they set off, they can hardly predict the troubles that lie ahead with tow-ropes, unreliable weather forecasts, and tins of pineapple chunks---not to mention the devastation left in the wake of J.'s small fox-terrier Montmorency.

Humorist Russell Johnson goes astray with stories about Duckton Abbey (Downton Abbey In A Duck Pond), the futility of Putting The Cat Back In The Bag, why he would like to be an octopus, his after-bucket list (Where to Go After You Die), his cure for SOHDD (Ask Your Doctor About Sense Of Humor Deficit Disorder), and other meanderings.

Nadine is a British widow living on a Greek island in the Cyclades who adopts a dog called Charlton. But she has no idea what looking after a dog entails: the attention, the care, the responsibility. As she struggles to cope with him, matters quickly get out of hand. Friends and neighbors get involved, and others try to take charge of the situation. What follows is a dark, brutally funny story that tracks the strange, enforced intimacy of life in a small island community. And Charlton is at the heart of it all.

Remember the Monster Stick? The greatest and most dangerous fishing-rod ever? What about Buck, who simply "ain't no ordinary dog"? Anyone who has seen the Lepp boys perform or read their book The Monster Stick will never forget them. In this recording, we revisit West Virginia with Bil Lepp as he tells some of the stories that made his brother, Paul, and himself repeat winners of the West Virginia State Liars Contest.

"Kuttay" as narrated by Mustaq Ahmed Yusufi, Ptaras Bukhari, and Saadat Hasan Manto.

With millions of copies of his New York Times best-selling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency mysteries in print across the globe, Alexander McCall Smith is one of the most popular novelists and humorists in the world. Starring the brilliant but bumbling Professor Doctor Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs is a wonderfully entertaining showcase for Smith's award-winning wit.

In this very funny audiobook, Bobs gives us his opinions on everything from fireworks to frogs, cats to Christmas, in his own words. This collection of his letters takes us through a year in the life of Bobs, the adored pet terrier owned by national treasure Enid Blyton.