Humor Fiction Adventure

For Twilight fans and beyond: the ultimate guide to love and sex, vampire-style. Women daring and lucky enough to discover romance with a vampire claim to enjoy the most intense love and sex of their lives. But how do you find a vampire of your very own? And just how do you get him interested in ravishing you within an inch of your life? Will the ecstasy of the coupling be worth the inherent risks of vampire love—the risks of drinking your blood, the risks of secrecy, and the risks of betrayal?

Stuck in the wilderness with a bunch of other juvenile delinquents on an "Inward Trek", it doesn’t seem that things could get worse for 17-year-old Nick "Nero" Sole.

But they do. Overnight, Nero’s counselors turn into flesh-eating maniacs and start chowing down on his fellow miscreants - like a monster movie come to life. As in any classic monster flick worth its salted popcorn, colossal carnage sends survivors rabbiting into the woods while the mindless horde of "infects" shambles, moans, and drools behind. These kids have seen the movies; they know the rules. Unfortunately, knowing the rules isn’t going to be enough.

They’re here. They’ve arrived. And they’re all eyes. The Voltarian scouting party - illegal aliens extraordinaire - on a top-secret expedition led by one Jettero Heller, Royal Officer of the Fleet. His mission: rescue the planet from pollution - and make it safe for the upcoming invasion. His problem: The planet may not want to be saved - and the invasion may just be a trick.

Holt Box, a beloved country singer on the comeback trail is killed in Lucky’s lover, Jean-Charles’, kitchen. Mr. Box dies in Lucky’s father’s arms. Her former lover, Teddie, is accused of the murder. A heavy-hitter in the Macanese underworld is working over Lucky’s father. An old nemesis salivating for revenge gets out of jail on a technicality. Lucky’s mother is ramping up an ill-advised political campaign. And the holidays are racing to a crescendo.

For a time, Jimmy spent his expat days in Mexico unearthing pre-Columbian artifacts. Now he makes a living doing small trucking jobs and helping out with the occasional missing-person situation. But Jimmy’s laid-back lifestyle is being seriously imposed upon by a ninety-pound stalker named Louise. Add to this a sudden wave of hippies led by a murderous ex-con guru in search of psychic happenings, archaeologists unearthing (illegally) the Mayan tombs, and Louise and her weirdo husband’s quest for UFO sites, and Jimmy’s south-of-the-border existence is in danger.

Meet Peter Brown, a young Manhattan emergency room doctor with an unusual past that is just about to catch up with him. His morning begins with the quick disarming of a would-be mugger, followed by a steamy elevator encounter with a sexy young pharmaceutical rep, topped off by a visit with a new patient - and from there Peter's day is going to get a whole lot worse and a whole lot weirder.

Tobias Smollett, in his creation of the Scot Roderick Random, exposes the sheer incompetence and injustice of the Royal Navy, as well as the snobbery and hypocrisy prevalent in English middle-class society at the time. Set in the mid-18th century, this picaresque novel follows the life and adventures of Roderick, the eponymous hero who has been shunned by his gentleman father's family on the basis of the lowliness of his mother's family.

Joe Spork repairs clocks, a far cry from his late father, a flashy London gangster. But when Joe fixes one particularly unusual device, his life is suddenly upended. Joe's client, Edie Banister, is more than just a kindly old lady - she's a former superspy. And the device? It's a 1950s doomsday machine. And having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the government and a diabolical South Asian dictator, Edie's old arch-nemesis.

Mild-mannered sheep farmer Albert Stark is fed up with the harsh life of the American frontier, where it seems everything and anything can kill you: Duels at high noon. Barroom brawls. Poisonous snakes. Cholera-infected drinking water. Tumbleweed abrasion. Something called “toe-foot.” Even a trip to the outhouse. Yes, there are a million ways to die in the wild, wild West, and Albert plans to avoid them all. Some people think that makes him a coward. Albert calls it common sense.

Two years after he won the average at the Las Vegas National Finals Rodeo by riding Kamikaze, the world’s most unridable bull, Lick is down on his luck, working on a ranch in the remote Nevada desert with Al Bean, an ornery old cowboy. Then into their lives crashes Teddie Arizona—T.A.—a woman of mystery who crawls out of the wreckage of her plane with a $500,000 secret.

In an alien city torn apart by crooked cops and ruthless criminals, private detective Dan Deadman specializes in cases unusual and bizarre. Sure, he doesn't smell great, and he's technically been dead for quite some time, but if you've got a rampaging Hell-beast tearing up your street, or a portal to another dimension appearing in your bathroom, Dan's your man. After saving a mysterious young woman named Ollie from the clutches of something big, slimy, and unpleasant, Dan gets entangled in a missing child case.

Daniel T. Drunk, Jr. if you really wanna know. And I’m on a plane headed to Paradise Isle on the trip of a lifetime. The occasion? My honeymoon. Except, there’s only one problem. I’m riding solo. It’s a really long story, and if you don’t mind, I’d prefer to leave it at that. Really? You must know? Fine, I get it. You’re the nosey type. Here’s the abbreviated version. I came within an inch of marrying a cheating slut. There. Get the picture? Good.

Commander Angel Rose, forced into a life of crime due to circumstances beyond her control, is determined to survive in the unforgiving void as a professional assassin. Will she be forced into the ignominy of moving back in with her parents when her efforts fail to leave her with credit-earning blood on her hands? After years of galactic travel, could Angel's destiny be to end up drinking cheap liquor in a bar in Slough?

There’s no rule book for this deadly game. When Samantha’s friend and sometimes boss AJ Gunn is accused of murdering the star quarterback for the Oregon pro-team she knows three things: No way is AJ guilty even if he doesn’t have a solid alibi, this is not a one gal PI gig, she’s going to need help, and rich people are crazy. If Samantha thought she was out of her element in Wind River, investigating in a new town is like working in a foreign land. Looking for a real suspect, Samantha meets a host of powerful characters with deep pockets and dark secrets.

Tonight, someone turned a young woman, a Jimmy Choo embedded in her carotid, into a hood ornament for the latest Ferrari in the Babylon's dealership. And one of the big-name players in a huge poker tournament ends up dead. Are the two deaths related? Lucky starts making connections putting her in the crosshairs of a killer. Her former lover, Teddie, comes back from his rock tour to deliver a bombshell. Then, life deals another major complication to her personal life...and it's not going to be pretty. Can Lucky handle the fallout and catch a killer?

The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.

Professor James Lowry didn’t believe in spirits, or witches, or demons. Not until a gentle spring evening when his hat disappeared, and suddenly he couldn’t remember the last four hours of his life. Now, the quiet university town of Atworthy is changing - slightly at first, then faster and more frighteningly each time he tries to remember.

Stephen Leacock (1869-1944) may be considered the Canadian counterpart to Mark Twain. For many years he was professor of economics at Magill University and published a number of well-regarded texts on economics and political science. However, he is best known today for his many volumes of humorous fiction. During the 1920s he was one of the most widely read authors in the English-speaking world and was considered by Jack Benny and Groucho Marx to be one of the greatest comic writers of all time.

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

The Rum Diary was begun in 1959 by a then-22-year-old Hunter S. Thompson. It was his first novel and he told his friend, the author William Kennedy, that The Rum Diary would "in a twisted way...do for San Juan what Ernest Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises did for Paris."