Humor Fiction Adventure

Grange, Florida, is famous for its miracles - the weeping fiberglass Madonna, the Road-Stain Jesus, the stigmata man. And now it has JoLayne Lucks, unlikely winner of the state lottery. Unfortunately, JoLayne's winning ticket isn't the only one. The other belongs to Bodean Gazzer and his raunchy sidekick, Chub, who believe they're entitled to the whole $28 million jackpot. And they need it quickly, to start their own underground militia before NATO troops invade America. But JoLayne Lucks has her own plans for the Lotto money - an Eden-like forest in Grange must be saved from strip-malling.

Alexander Grant is a little too good at a few too many things. Two dozen martial arts. Twice that many languages. Chess, the piano, sports, forging excused absences, you name it. He graduated high school top of his class 17 times. Of course, no one knows any of this. Not that he wants to go unnoticed. It’s just safer that way.

Felix doesn’t get along with the house dog or parrot. Can they overcome their differences and team up to beat the house burglar? Felix was affectionate. He loved to rub on legs, but suddenly he’d fart so bad. It smelled like rotten eggs.

While many people have written books and novels on the Peninsular War, Thomas Flashman's memoirs offer a unique perspective. They include new accounts of famous battles, but also incredible incidents and characters almost forgotten by history. Flashman is revealed as the catalyst to one of the greatest royal scandals of the 19th century, which disgraced a prince and ultimately produced one of our greatest novelists.

Meet Percy Stinkson. He's just a normal kid, trying to have fun and make it through school doing as little homework as possible....until he finds out he's the son of a Greek god! And Percy's father isn't just any Greek god. He's Pooseidon, God of Farts! Percy's life is totally transformed as he travels to Camp Half-Wit, where he's trained to use his special farting powers. He's going to need these powers, because he soon learns it's up to him to save the universe by going on a quest to find Zeus's stolen iPhone! It'll be a dangerous quest, but Percy will have company: Grover, a weird kid who thinks he's a half-goat, and Annabeth, a super-hot girl who unfortunately doesn't want to date Percy. Yet. There'll be loads of action and tons of smelly farts as Percy's quest proceeds to its exciting conclusion: a showdown in the Underworld with Hades himself! The odds might be against Percy, but don't give up hope, because he'll have the ultimate weapon at his disposal: The Lightning Fart! Can a fart really save the universe?

Harry Flashman: the unrepentant bully of Tom Brown's schooldays, now with a Victoria Cross, has three main talents - horsemanship, facility with foreign languages, and fornication. A reluctant military hero, Flashman plays a key part in most of the defining military campaigns of the 19th century, despite trying his utmost to escape them all.

In late 2003, in his column in Entertainment Weekly, Stephen King called The Memory of Running "the best novel you won't read this year." This glowing endorsement of the audiobook resulted in Ron McLarty receiving a $2 million two-book deal from Viking Penguin. Also, Warner Brothers has shelled out big bucks for the movie rights to The Memory of Running, for which McLarty will write the script.

19-year-old Phoebe and her courier father Al have recently moved to Devon, to a small cottage with a river at the end of the garden. Struggling with her health, Phoebe doesn't go out much these days. Instead, she spends her time playing detective—trying to deduce from her father's deliveries what kinds of lives her neighbours lead. When Phoebe finds an abandoned baby otter by the river, it's just the push she needs to finally step into her new community. Taking the otter to the local sanctuary, she feels a joy that she has not felt in a very long time.

Low-level entertainment lawyer Nick Carter thinks it's a prank, not an alien encounter, when a redheaded mullah and a curvaceous nun show up at his office. But Frampton and Carly are highly advanced (if bumbling) extraterrestrials. And boy, do they have news. The entire cosmos, they tell him, has been hopelessly hooked on humanity's music ever since "Year Zero" (1977 to us), when American pop songs first reached alien ears. This addiction has driven a vast intergalactic society to commit the biggest copyright violation since the Big Bang.

Poor Princess Anya. Forced to live with her evil stepmother's new husband, her evil stepstepfather. Plagued with an unfortunate ability to break curses with a magic-assisted kiss. And forced to go on the run when her stepstepfather decides to make the kingdom entirely his own. Aided by a loyal talking dog, a boy thief trapped in the body of a newt, and some extraordinarily mischievous wizards, Anya sets off on a quest that, if she plays it right, will ultimately free her land - and teach her a thing or two.

Best-selling author Jasper Fforde begins an effervescent new series. It's Easter in Reading - a bad time for eggs - and no one can remember the last sunny day. Humpty Dumpty, well-known nursery favourite, large egg, ex-convict and former millionaire philanthropist, is found shattered beneath a wall in a shabby area of town.

Four set out, one is dead, another is barely holding it together. Still, in the face of tragedy, to save the modern world, Alexander Grant is more determined than ever to stop Elam Khai, Peter Kroll, and anyone else who stands in his way. Having lived over 1500 years, our teenage hero knows a bit about history. But as much as he’s trained, seen, and experienced, nothing has prepared him for what he’s about to face.

Here, we have a glorious ensemble of Woodhousian characters knocking elbows to foreheads in the elegant and grand Blandings Castle. Meet Freddy Threepwood, the vagrant son of doddering old Lord Emsworth of Blandings Castle. Freddy has recently become engaged to Aline Peters, the American heiress of an irascible father. The snag is that Freddy seems to have at one point become enamored of a struggling actress, Joan Valentine, and written some impetuous and imprudent letters to her.

More than anything, Tom Raines wants to be important, though his shadowy life is anything but that. For years, Tom's drifted from casino to casino with his unlucky gambler of a dad, gaming for their survival. Keeping a roof over their heads depends on a careful combination of skill, luck, con artistry, and staying invisible. Then one day, Tom stops being invisible. Someone's been watching his virtual-reality prowess, and he's offered the incredible - a place at the Pentagonal Spire, an elite military academy. There, Tom's instincts for combat will be put to the test and if he passes, he'll become a member of the Intrasolar Forces.

When the world last checked in with its favorite Cheetos addict, the planet had been overrun by flesh-hungry beasts, and nature had started reclaiming her territory from humankind. S.T., the intrepid crow, alongside his bloodhound-bestie Dennis, had set about saving pets that had become trapped in their homes after humanity went the way of the dodo. That is, dear reader, until S.T. stumbled upon something so rare - and so precious - that he vowed to do everything in his power to safeguard what could, quite literally, be humanity's last hope for survival.

The impossible was just the beginning. Now in their second year as superhuman government weapons-in-training at the Pentagonal Spire, Tom and his friends are midlevel cadets in the elite combat corps known as the Intrasolar Forces. But as training intensifies and a moment arrives that could make or break his entire career, Tom's loyalties are again put to the test. Will his idealism and bravado cost him everything - and everyone - that matters to him?

Flashman must choose - politcs in London or slave trading in Africa - not that it matters really in this hilarious third installement of the Flashman Papers. When Flashman was inveigled into a game of pontoon with Disraeli and Lord George Bentinck, he was making an unconscious choice about his own future - would it lie in the House of Commons or the West African slave trade? Was there, for that matter, very much difference?

What's worse than a child with a magnifying glass, a garden full of ants, and a brilliant mind full of mischief? Try Al, a well-meaning but impish artificial intelligence with the mind of a six-year-old and a penchant for tantrums. Hope Takeda, a lab assistant charged with educating and socializing Al, soon discovers that day care is a lot more difficult when your kid is an evolving and easily frightened A.I.

It's not on any chart, but the tropical island of Cayo Loco is the perfect place to run away from all your problems. Waking from a ganja buzz on the beach in Tulum, Tully can't believe his eyes when a 142-foot schooner emerges out of the ocean mist. At its helm is Cleopatra Highbourne, the eccentric 101-year-old sea captain who will take him to a lighthouse on a salty piece of land that will change his life forever.

They’ve taken everything from him. Now Jerry and Chewy are headed to Niagara Falls to take out the wasteland’s greatest villain once and for all. But The Librarian isn’t the only one looking for revenge. Several other post-apocalyptic nomadic warriors have experienced Invcitus’ horrors firsthand and are in town to find vengeance. The Bookkeepers have lived under the tyrant’s iron fist for far too long. They’re well informed, organized, and ready to strike.