Humor Fiction Adventure

Piers Anthony delivers another tale set in the best-selling world of Xanth, filled with magic, surprises, adventure, and a few puns. Here's what the author has to say about his new book: "Five Portraits is a kind of sequel to Board Stiff in that it picks up where the other leaves off, with the same characters. Apart from that, it's one of my favorites within the series.

My work as a computer geek has me traveling around the world, solving mysteries and fighting bad guys. Sometimes with my friends, but always with trouble by my side. So you'd think I would've expected to be plagued by danger when I headed to Egypt with my best friend, Elvis Zimmerman, and boyfriend, Slash, to help track down Elvis' missing and estranged father. Nope. Genius runs in the family, and we quickly discovered Elvis' father is hot on the trail of an ancient and elusive artifact, one that people are willing to kill to find.

At 44, Eve Mozell has a wonderful husband and a creative job. She also has a temperamental teenage son, two headstrong sisters, and a demented old father. As she deals with her family's frequent crises, her days overflow with lengthy phone calls. She is never far from a dial tone. But as her father begins to die, Eve is tempted to disconnect and to sort out her feelings for this difficult man.

In an alien city torn apart by crooked cops and ruthless criminals, private detective Dan Deadman specializes in cases unusual and bizarre. Sure, he doesn't smell great, and he's technically been dead for quite some time, but if you've got a rampaging Hell-beast tearing up your street, or a portal to another dimension appearing in your bathroom, Dan's your man. After saving a mysterious young woman named Ollie from the clutches of something big, slimy, and unpleasant, Dan gets entangled in a missing child case.

Many have marvelled at General Napier's daring 1868 expedition through the treacherous peaks and bottomless chasms of Abyssinia to rescue a small group of British citizens held captive by the mad tyrant Emperor Theodore. But the vital role of Sir Harry Flashman, V.C., in the success of this campaign has hitherto gone unrecorded.

Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though.

Samantha Madison is just your average disenfranchised sophomore gal living in DC when, in an inadvertent moment sandwiched between cookie buying and CD-perusing, she puts a stop to an attempt on the life of the president. Before she can say “MTV2”, she’s appointed Teen Ambassador to the UN and has caught the eye of the very cute First Son.

Le "Vieux" n'est toujours pas près de sucrer les fraises ! Bali, une plage de rêve, un resort paradisiaque. Aux côtés de Julius, son partenaire dans le crime, Allan Karlsson devrait pouvoir enfin souffler. Mais il n'a pas tenu en place les cent premières années de sa vie, ce n'est pas maintenant qu'il va changer ! Pour distraire Allan et fêter ses 101 ans, Julius lui offre une virée en montgolfière qui vire à la catastrophe. Suite à une avarie, le ballon sombre dans l'océan. Heureusement, les deux naufragés sont recueillis par un navire militaire.

Things have quieted down for lovable troublemaker Rafe Khatchadorian, and after all the mishaps and adventures he's been through, he's feeling a little restless. So when he's invited to attend an all-expenses-paid art field trip in California, Rafe jumps at the opportunity. But things go sideways, as they always do for Rafe, when he arrives and realizes his trip isn't the Hollywood vacation he thought it would be. Instead, he'll be participating in a "Cultural Campout" in the desert.

Les is quite happy resting up after the flu when Warren has to tip him into an earn. Norton's mate from the Albanian Mafia, Bodene Menjou, is planning to make the most politically correct movie ever made in Australia, Gone With the Willy Willy, and has a script stolen. If Les can find it, a lazy $50,000 could fall in. How can Norton say no?

Living On Air is a coming of age tale about a small town boy who makes it to the top of his profession in the world of radio and voice-over. It's a heart-warming, funny story filled with the ups and downs people face on the roller-coaster ride to success, including some laughable encounters with major celebrities. Living On Air is narrated by author, Joe Cipriano, considered one of the top voice-over talents in America. Instantly recognizable as the voice of TV networks, award shows, games shows and more.

Cal Carver is having a bad day. Imprisoned and forced to share a cell with a cannibalistic serial killer, Cal thinks things can't possibly get any worse. He is wrong. It's not until two-thirds of the human race is wiped out and Cal is abducted by aliens that his day really starts to go downhill. Whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of some of the sector's most notorious villains and scumbags.

Finn Foley has a lunchbox, and when he opens it, weird things come out...like a seven-foot-tall robot and a strange, blinking device that glues itself to his chest. The lunchbox also opens wormholes—shortcuts through space—that take Finn to the farthest corners of the galaxy. Sounds awesome, right?

Is Mothman real, or just another fly-by-night tourist scam? The truth is out there … way WAY out there in this deliciously snarky humorous mystery. Growing up in backwoods Florida, Bobbie Drex has seen it all – from two-headed turtles to two-timing boyfriends. Her life of hard knocks has left her short on cash, but she’s still packing enough snark to give any whack-job a run for his money. Or so she thinks. But when a mysterious stranger arrives at her mechanic shop seeking repairs to his rundown RV, suddenly it’s Bobbie who’s in for a complete overhaul...

Findriddy and Carson are two explorers sent to Boohte to survey the ridges and scrub-covered hills of the planet. Back home, their adventures are followed by countless breathless fans, but the reality is far less romantic as they deal with dust, nitpicking regulations, and uncooperative aliens. Teamed with a young intern whose specialty is mating customs, and a native guide of indeterminate gender, the group sets out for a previously unexplored sector of the planet.

Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...

It's hard to find work as a doctor when using your real name will get you killed. So hard that when a reclusive billionaire offers Dr. Peter Brown, aka Pietro Brnwa, a job accompanying a sexy but self-destructive paleontologist on the world's worst field assignment, Brown has no real choice but to say yes. Even if it means that an army of murderers, mobsters, and international drug dealers-not to mention the occasional lake monster-are about to have a serious Pietro Brnwa problem.

Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.

All 16-year-old Cameron wants is to get through high school - and life in general - with a minimum of effort. It's not a lot to ask. But that's before he's given some bad news: he's sick and he's going to die. Which totally sucks. Hope arrives in the winged form of Dulcie, a loopy punk angel/possible hallucination with a bad sugar habit. She tells Cam there is a cure - if he's willing to go in search of it.

Meet Monster. Meet Judy. Two humans who don't like each other much, but together must fight dragons, fire-breathing felines, trolls, Inuit walrus dogs, and a crazy cat lady - for the future of the universe.