Humorous Adventure

Adventurers seek dungeons for riches. Heroes storm great fortresses. Gods clash far above. Arek cooks lasagna and tops it with a dash of finely chopped basil. An orc who has seen more than his fair amount of fighting, Arek wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his days cooking and away from the chaos of combat. However, when Ming and her group of adventurers hire him as their full-time chef, his plans of avoiding violence crumble. He longs to leave his blood-soaked mistakes in his past, but old friends and foes have different ideas.

This is the history of how the City was saved, by Notker the professional liar, written down because eventually the truth always seeps through.

This second audiobook in Sarah Mlynowski's charming new series puts a fresh spin on the Cinderella story! Once upon a time my brother and I found a magic mirror. Tonight the mirror swept us into Cinderella's fairy tale. Now, we are not messing this story up. No way. Cinderella is going to marry her prince just like she's supposed to. Uh-oh. Cinderella broke her foot and there's massive swelling. The glass slipper won't fit, the prince won't know she's the one for him, and they won't live happily ever after. And it's all our fault!

Betrayed by those she trusts most and her magic ripped from her, all Sal the Cacophony has left is her name, her story, and the weapon she used to carve both. But she has a will stronger than magic and knows exactly where to go. The Scar, a land torn between powerful empires, where rogue mages go to disappear, disgraced soldiers go to die and Sal went with a blade, a gun, and a list of seven names.

Life is boring when you live in the real world instead of starring in your own book series. Owen knows that better than anyone, what with the real world's homework and chores. But everything changes the day Owen sees the impossible happen - his classmate Bethany climbs out of a book in the library. It turns out Bethany's half fictional and has been searching every book she can find for her missing father, a fictional character.

Ollie and Celia think they know what the life of an elf is supposed to be like: Make toys. Help Santa. Make more toys. Help Santa. Try out a new ice-cream flavor. Help Santa. But then Santa rocks the North Pole with a surprise announcement! He's decided this is going to be his last year in the Big Red Suit, and, instead of letting his oldest son - the unfortunately named Klaus Claus - take over, he's opening up the job to any Claus or elf who wants to apply.

Hank learns about a tool thief on the loose who uses a monkey to help him do his dirty work. And before long, Hank finds himself face-to-face with the pilfering primate! Can Hank help to stop the criminals in their tracks, or will the crooks make a monkey out of the Head of Ranch Security?

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

Showoff, the fourth book in best-selling author Gordon Korman's Swindle series, finds Griffin hatching a new plan after his friend’s pet Doberman, Luthor, is blamed for ruining a dog show and lands in the pound. Now, to spring Luthor, Griffin and his friends must pull off a scheme involving a large international dog show, lots of red dye, and the help of a reclusive former dog trainer.

For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.

A magical snowstorm engulfs the northern forests of the kingdom, bringing with it the threat of the Winter Court. Yet even amidst news of a fae host massing upon the horizon, secession and rebellion still raises its head. The Duchy of Aquina has announced the Tournament of Crowns, threatening to plunge the realm into its deepest crisis.

Three factions vie for control of the galaxy. Rig, a gunslinging, thieving rebel-with-a-cause, doesn’t give a damn about them, and she hasn’t looked back since abandoning them three years ago. That is, until her former faction sends her a message: Return what she stole from them, or her twin sister will die. Rig embarks on a journey across the galaxy to save her - but for once, she’s not alone. She has help from her network of resistance contacts, her taser-wielding librarian girlfriend, and a mysterious bounty hunter.

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

Everyone loves Drover, Hank's trusty sidekick. But have you ever wondered what the little, white, stub-tailed dog's life was like before he came to the ranch? Well, it's all here, in Drover's own words. Scratching his story out in the dirt on the machine shed floor, Drover comes clean about his secret life--from his early days as runt of the litter, to his frustrating search for a job, to his ultimate position as Hank's right-paw man.

Tim and his ragtag crew have been rescued from certain doom by a mermaid princess—but now, she wants something in return for saving their lives: her father King Neptuna’s stolen trident. To pay their debt, Tim, Belinda, Ferkle, Rover, and Princess Grace once again brave the Sea of Terror to track down the trident in the glorious city of Atlantis, which hasn’t sunk into the sea yet. (In fact, it is famed as the safest city on earth.) But there is plenty of danger en route—and the notorious Prince Ruprecht is lurking about as well.

The Ender Dragon, infected by the Herobrine virus, has escaped into the Overworld! Gameknight999 and his father, Monkeypants271, traveled all the way to The End and banished the evil virus Herobrine to the only place they knew nothing could survive: the Void. They thought they had finally destroyed the enemy...But through the Void, Herobrine's viral lines of code were able to spread all throughout The End, infecting the horrible Ender Dragon.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?

Did you know that Cinderella’s stepsisters got their eyes pecked out by birds? Really. And that Rumpelstiltskin ripped himself in half? And that in "The Mouse, the Bird, and the Sausage", a mouse, a bird, and a sausage all talk to each other? (Okay, I guess that one’s not that grim.) Those are the real fairy tales. But they have nothing on the fairy tales in this audiobook.

The ghast king Malacoda and the terrible enderman Erebus have led their monster army to the server that houses the Source: a virus with plans to destroy Minecraft and all the digital lives on its servers before escaping once and for all into the real world. Only Gameknight999, the user-that-is-not-a-user, and his small army of NPCs can stop them. But the monster horde is growing bigger by the day, as if they are being helped by an unknown someone...or something.