Humorous Fiction Family

Just when they think they are safe, theMcDonald twins are chased by an evil Elvis impersonator, trapped in a pool of flesh-eating soda pop, nearly pulverized in a giant shredder, and crushed in a turbo-charged carnival ride. Worst of all, no one believes them! Will they make it out alive? Will they ever find out who's really after them? All bets are off in this explosive third book in the Genius Files series.

Thanks to the efforts of Miss Penelope Lumley, their plucky governess, Alexander, Beowulf, and Cassiopeia are much more like children than wolf pups now. They are accustomed to wearing clothes. They hardly ever howl at the moon. And for the most part, they resist the urge to chase squirrels up trees.

Greg had started looking around the cafeteria, and everywhere he looked, he saw quarters. He saw kids trading quarters for ice-cream sandwiches and cupcakes and cookies at the dessert table. There were quarters all over the place, buckets of them. At that moment, Greg’s view of school changed completely and forever. School had suddenly become the most interesting place on the planet. Because young Greg Kenton had decided that school would be an excellent place to make his fortune.

Dutch-American storyteller Hilda Van Stockum provides us with another episode in the life of the Mitchell family, this time taking on life as it comes in a truly unforgettable Canadian summer.

Ramona's job is to be nice to fussy Mrs. Kemp, who watches her while her mother works. If Mrs. Quimby didn't work, Mr. Quimby couldn't return to college. On top of all that, third grade isn't turning out as Ramona expected, even though she enjoys her class's new reading program, D.E.A.R. Danny the Yard Ape teases her, and, on one horrible day, she throws up - at school. Being eight isn't easy, but it's never dull!

There are good moms and bad moms - and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic, and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably.

Lulu has received the worst. News. Ever. She's getting a baby sister. No one ever asked her opinion on this debacle. She no how, no way, no thank you wants a sibling. Undeterred, to prepare Lulu for big sisterhood, her parents bribe - ahem, ask - Lulu to attend Camp Sisterhood, aka big-sister training camp. As a sister in training (SIT), Lulu is assigned a variety of temporary little "siblings". Well, no one ever said Camp Sisterhood was supposed to teach Lulu how to be a good big sister, so Lulu resolves to be a bad big sister.

Sometimes a busy businessmouse like me needs a nice, relaxing vacation. But every time I tried to get away, disaster struck! By the time I finally tore myself away from The Rodent's Gazette, all the good trips were booked up. I found myself stuck in a flea-ridden old hotel, sharing a room with a bunch of Gerbil Scouts!

Poor Jacob Two-Two. Not only must he say everything twice just to be heard over his four brothers and sisters, but he finds himself the prisoner of the dreaded Hooded Fang. What had he done to deserve such a punishment? The worst crime of all - insulting a grown-up! Although he's small, Jacob is not helpless, especially when The Infamous Two come to his aid.

A couple awakens in a home in the woods to find themselves rapidly aging as their toddler remains unchanged. A work-worn employee navigates conspiracy theories and the threat of violence in an abandoned office. A tour guide leads a troublesome group to an ancient structure, apparently nonhuman in origin, discovering along the way that the most mysterious creatures of all are right beside him.

Author Katherine Applegate’s stories about Roscoe Riley are popular with young readers who know what it’s like to get into trouble—accidentally. When the local bookstore holds a contest to guess the weight of a giant pumpkin, the prize is a bunch of books for the winner’s school library and a ton of candy. Roscoe likes books and candy, so he decides to make a guess. But a bad-luck black kitten at the bookstore keeps getting in his way.

Myrtle Meek has everything she could possibly want. But everything isn’t enough. She wants more, more, MORE! When Myrtle declares she wants a FING, there’s only one problem.... What is a FING? Mr and Mrs Meek will do anything to keep their darling daughter happy, even visit the spooky library vaults to delve into the dusty pages of the mysterious Monsterpedia. Their desperate quest leads to the depths of the jungliest jungle where the rarest creatures can be found. But will they ever find a FING?

Splash! This time, Abby's magic mirror sucks her into the tale of the Little Mermaid. Abby and her little brother Jonah get pulled through the mirror in their basement again - into the story of the Little Mermaid! Talk about being a fish out of water! Abby and Jonah are not in their element in this underwater world. And when they accidentally mess up the Little Mermaid's story, they must figure out a way to restore her happy ending. A hilarious, fractured-fairy-tale adventure under the sea.

This second audiobook in Sarah Mlynowski's charming new series puts a fresh spin on the Cinderella story! Once upon a time my brother and I found a magic mirror. Tonight the mirror swept us into Cinderella's fairy tale. Now, we are not messing this story up. No way. Cinderella is going to marry her prince just like she's supposed to. Uh-oh. Cinderella broke her foot and there's massive swelling. The glass slipper won't fit, the prince won't know she's the one for him, and they won't live happily ever after. And it's all our fault!

Following up on the classic children's novel The Saturdays, Elizabeth Enright continues the engaging tale of the Melendy family (Mona, Rush, Randy, Oliver, Father, and Cuffy, the housekeeper) and their move from an old brownstone in New York City to a charming house in the country. Called the Four-Story Mistake for its odd look and confused architectural history, the house offers the Melendys wonderful quirks and surprises.

It is now 1958, and a new family has moved in next door to Mrs. Dowdel: a Methodist minister and his wife and kids. Soon Mrs. Dowdel will work her particular brand of charm - or medicine, depending on who you're asking - on all of them: ten-yearold Bob, who is shy on courage in a town full of bullies; his two fascinating sisters; and even Bob's two parents, who are amazed to discover that the last house in town might also be the most vital.

“Murmel, murmel, murmel,” is all Robin hears coming from a hole in her sandbox. When she reaches down and out pops a baby, she finds herself in a real fix: who will take care of it? Robin’s too little! Off she goes, searching her neighborhood for someone who needs a baby. The woman with seventeen cats doesn’t want the baby. Nor does the grumpy man by the bus stop. It looks as though all hope is lost, until a friendly truck driver passes by. He offers to trade his truck for the baby—an exchange Robin can’t refuse.

Ramona feels this is the awkward age - too little to stay by herself after school when her mother is at work, but too big to enjoy playing with pesty Willa Jean at her sitter's house. These days, all Ramona really wants is to twitch her nose and be her mother's little rabbit like she used to be. Can't she be her mother's little girl forever?

When Abby and Jonah's magic mirror brings them into the story of Hansel and Gretel, they're determined not to fracture this tasty fairy tale. They figure it'll be a piece of gingerbread cake - until Hansel and Gretel turn out to be not so sweet. The brother and sister end up trapping Abby and Jonah in the witch's candy house. So now it's up to the Smithville siblings to escape - and find their way back to home sweet home!

Karen Cushman's Newbery Honor-winning book tells the story of a medieval girl who works to avoid the marriage her father has arranged for her during her 14th year. Contained in this program is Catherine's diary - Catherine, called Little Bird or Birdy, daughter of Rollo and the lady Aislinn, sister to Thomas, Edward, and the abominable Robert. Against a vivid backdrop of everyday life on a medieval English manor, Catherine's earthy, spirited account of her fourteenth year is a richly entertaining story with an utterly unforgettable heroine.