Humorous Fiction Family

You are presumably looking here for clues to the shocking conclusion of this terminal audiobook, or the ending of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.

Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and best-selling author Neil Gaiman.

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up, and down, a range of strange and distressing mountains.

A couple awakens in a home in the woods to find themselves rapidly aging as their toddler remains unchanged. A work-worn employee navigates conspiracy theories and the threat of violence in an abandoned office. A tour guide leads a troublesome group to an ancient structure, apparently nonhuman in origin, discovering along the way that the most mysterious creatures of all are right beside him.

When Silas Heap unseals a forgotten room in the palace, he releases the ghost of a queen who lived 500 years earlier. Queen Etheldredda is as awful in death as she was in life, and she's still up to no good. Her diabolical plan to give herself everlasting life requires Jenna's compliance, Septimus' disappearance, and the talents of her son, Marcellus Pye, a famous alchemist and physician.

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

Ramona's life changes the moment Howie Kemp's mysterious uncle arrives from Saudi Arabia. Howie and his sister, Willa Jean, talk only about Uncle Hobart. Ramona's mother makes secret phone calls and stops eating dessert, and Aunt Bea is hiding something, too. Whatever surprises are in store, Ramona is determined to be happy and helpful. Whether she's pleasant or pesty, brave or blunderful, she's always wonderful Ramona - forever!

When you babysit a grandma, if you're lucky, you'll have a sleepover at her house! And with the useful tips found in this book, you're guaranteed to become an expert grandma-sitter in no time. (Be sure to check out the sections on: How to keep a grandma busy; Things to do at the park; Possible places to sleep, and what to do once you're both tucked in for the night.)

A tennis champion, straight-A student, and editor of the school paper, Cyrie Bergerac has learned to live with her (ahem) peculiar proboscis. And she's got an armory of witty retorts for every schnozz joke that comes her way. But despite her talents and charm, Cyrie is convinced that no guy - hot or otherwise - would deem her crushworthy.

In this fresh take on love and trouble in America, Brock Hobson, an insurance salesman and Sunday-school teacher, finds his equilibrium disturbed by the results of a predictive blood test. Baxter, a master storyteller, brings us a gradually building rollercoaster narrative, and a protagonist who is impertinent, searching, and hilariously relatable.

You know it's going to be a rough summer when you spend Father's Day visiting your dad in the local lockup. Noah's dad is sure that the owner of the Coral Queen casino boat is flushing raw sewage into the harbor, which has made taking a dip at the local beach like swimming in a toilet. He can't prove it though, and so he decides that sinking the boat will make an effective statement. Right. The boat is pumped out and back in business within days and Noah's dad is stuck in the clink.

Meet eleven-year-old Dara Palmer. She loves dancing and dreams of being a world famous actress - which means she has to get the main part in the school play. When she doesn't get any part at all, Dara begins to wonder whether it's because of her looks rather than her acting skills. But Dara has big ideas - and is determined not to let prejudice stop her from being in the spotlight.

Lemon Peabody loves spending time with Grandpa Walt. Even though he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and moved to an assisted living facility, he’s still the same funny, loving grandpa he’s always been. One of Grandpa’s claims to fame is his story about meeting an alien years ago—and that it looked like a garden gnome. Ever since, it’s been something of a town-wide joke, and the cause of a rift between Grandpa and Lemon’s dad. Lemon is determined to find those extraterrestrial gnomes and vindicate Grandpa Walt—while Grandpa can still remember it.

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't.

Popular author Katherine Applegate has won a devoted following for her Roscoe Riley Rules series, which features a loveable youngster who has his own guidelines for getting by in life. Roscoe has already learned not to glue his friends to chairs, not to steal from bullies, and not to swap his sweaters for dogs. But when his class plans a field trip to an apple orchard, he gets himself into his stickiest situation yet—and learns a new rule in the process.

Now that Septimus, Jenna, and Beetle are 14 years old, they have assumed larger roles in their Magykal world. Beetle is the Chief Hermetic Scribe of the Manuscriptorium and Jenna will soon be Queen, but Septimus is still battling the remnants of the Darke Domaine, which will remain until the power of the evil Two-Faced Ring is destroyed forever. To accomplish that, the ancient Alchemie Fyre must be relit - a task that sends Septimus to the very origins of Magyk and Physik.

Ramona is happy to have a new bedroom all to herself - during the day, at least. It's not as easy to be brave when there might be ghostly, boneless gorillas oozing under the door at night. Then there is the big, mean dog that steals Ramona's shoe on her way to school. Any other first grader might be frightened. But it's going to take more than monsters and dogs to scare this fearless first grader!

After their adventures in China and Germany, the Kidd family is ready for some rest and relaxation. But when you're an ace treasure hunting team, there's always another adventure waiting around the corner! This time the Kidds head to Russia, where a set of priceless paintings by Leonardo da Vinci and Rembrandt has gone missing. Hot on the trail of the daring thieves, the Kidds race through the sinister streets of St. Petersburg and the wild Arctic tundra to track down the stolen treasure.

The Best Year Ever! That's what Ramona thought the fourth grade was going to be, but things aren't turning out as she hoped. Sure, she has a new best friend named Daisy. But how can she improve her spelling as her teacher insists, or be the role model for her baby sister, Roberta, that Mrs. Quimby expects? Fourth-grade life is full of adventure and challenges, and at the end of it all - a "zeroteenth" birthday to celebrate!

Ramona feels this is the awkward age - too little to stay by herself after school when her mother is at work, but too big to enjoy playing with pesty Willa Jean at her sitter's house. These days, all Ramona really wants is to twitch her nose and be her mother's little rabbit like she used to be. Can't she be her mother's little girl forever?