Humorous Fiction Family

Fourteen-year-old Ozzy lives near Portland, Oregon, and is desperate for help. His scientist parents have been kidnapped after discovering a formula that enables mind control. Their work was so top secret that Ozzy is afraid to go to the police, but without help, he fears he'll never find his parents. Then he stumbles across a classified ad in the local newspaper that says "Wizard for Hire. Call 555-SPEL." Ozzy has read about wizards in books like Harry Potter, but wizards couldn't exist today, could they? After Ozzy meets the wizard Labyrinth - a.k.a. Rin - he's even more skeptical.

Eleven year-old Peter Lee has one goal in life: to become a paleontologist. Okay, maybe two: to get his genius kid sister, L.B., to leave him alone. But his summer falls apart when his real-life dinosaur expedition turns out to be a bust, and he watches his dreams go up in a cloud of asthma-inducing dust.

At twenty-four, Hera is a clump of unmet potential. To her, the future is nothing but an exhausting thought exercise, one depressing hypothetical after another. She’s sharp in more ways than one, adrift in her own smug malaise, until her new job moderating the comments section of an online news outlet—a role even more mind-numbing than it sounds—introduces her to Arthur, a middle-aged journalist. Though she's preferred women to men for years now, she soon finds herself falling into an all-consuming affair with him.

Will the twins make it back home to California in one piece, or will they fall off the top of the Golden Gate Bridge? It's all coming to an end with this fifth book in the Genius Files series. You'll have to listen to believe it!

When Abby and Jonah's magic mirror brings them into the story of Hansel and Gretel, they're determined not to fracture this tasty fairy tale. They figure it'll be a piece of gingerbread cake - until Hansel and Gretel turn out to be not so sweet. The brother and sister end up trapping Abby and Jonah in the witch's candy house. So now it's up to the Smithville siblings to escape - and find their way back to home sweet home!

Coke and Pepsi McDonald never asked to be geniuses. They never asked to get lowered into a basket of boiling french fries, either. And they certainly never asked to be frozen in soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, or kidnapped on a high-speed roller coaster. But that's what happens when a red-haired villain named Archie Clone is chasing you across America. This just might be the most dangerous road trip in history - and the most awesome!

Zomorod (Cindy) Yousefzadeh is the new kid on the block...for the fourth time. California's Newport Beach is her family's latest perch, and she's determined to shuck her brainy loner persona and start afresh with a new Brady Bunch name - Cindy. It's the late 1970s, and fitting in becomes more difficult as Iran makes US headlines with protests, revolution, and finally the taking of American hostages. Even mood rings and puka shell necklaces can't distract Cindy from the anti-Iran sentiments that creep way too close to home.

Molly Moon has spent her entire life in a miserable orphanage run by the hairy, snaggletoothed Miss Adderson. But when she finds a mysterious book, Molly discovers an extraordinary talent, she can hypnotize anyone! Accompanied by Petula the pug, Molly hypnotizes her way to New York and Broadway stardom. But hot on her trail is the sinister professor, who is determined to use Molly to stage the crime of the century.

Ramona's life changes the moment Howie Kemp's mysterious uncle arrives from Saudi Arabia. Howie and his sister, Willa Jean, talk only about Uncle Hobart. Ramona's mother makes secret phone calls and stops eating dessert, and Aunt Bea is hiding something, too. Whatever surprises are in store, Ramona is determined to be happy and helpful. Whether she's pleasant or pesty, brave or blunderful, she's always wonderful Ramona - forever!

Poor Jacob Two-Two. Not only must he say everything twice just to be heard over his four brothers and sisters, but he finds himself the prisoner of the dreaded Hooded Fang. What had he done to deserve such a punishment? The worst crime of all - insulting a grown-up! Although he's small, Jacob is not helpless, especially when The Infamous Two come to his aid.

The wackiest road trip in history continues in book four of the New York Times best-selling Genius Files series, following twins Coke and Pepsi as they dodge villains and visit weird-but-true landmarks from Texas all the way to Roswell, New Mexico. With the real-kid humor that has earned him millions of fans around the world, and featuring all-new weird-but-true locations around America, From Texas with Love is absolutely batty!

Afternoon kindergarten is having a field day, and Junie B. Jones is team captain! Only, here's the problem: Room Eight keeps on winning too many events. And so how will Room Nine ever become the kindergarten champions? As Captain Field Day, will Junie B. find a way to lead her team to victory? Or will it be up to someone else to save the day?

The Best Year Ever! That's what Ramona thought the fourth grade was going to be, but things aren't turning out as she hoped. Sure, she has a new best friend named Daisy. But how can she improve her spelling as her teacher insists, or be the role model for her baby sister, Roberta, that Mrs. Quimby expects? Fourth-grade life is full of adventure and challenges, and at the end of it all - a "zeroteenth" birthday to celebrate!

Hansel and Gretel walk out of their own story and into eight other classic Grimm (and Grimm-inspired) fairy tales. An irreverent, witty narrator leads us through encounters with witches, warlocks, dragons, and the devil himself. As the siblings roam a forest brimming with menacing foes, they learn the true story behind the famous tales, as well as how to take charge of their destinies and create their own happily ever after. Because once upon a time, fairy tales were awesome.

Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo may seem like she's the luckiest girl ever. She's a princess, for starters. And while she's no supermodel, mirrors do not crack at her reflection. Best of all, she finally has a boyfriend. However, all she wants is a little peace and quiet...and a certain someone else to be her boyfriend. For Mia, being a princess in love is not the fairy-tale it's supposed to be...or is it?

Jeremy Jacob was sitting on the beach one fine day with his parents when he saw a pirate ship heading their way. He tried to warn his family, but it was already much too late. When the ship landed, the pirates welcomed Jeremy aboard. Jeremy thought that being a pirate would be fun, but it wasn't nearly as nice as he thought it would be. Late one night at sea, a gigantic storm struck, and the pirate ship was wrecked. With nowhere else to go, Jeremy and the pirates go back to his house!

Popular children's author Katherine Applegate presents this fun sequel to her instant hit, Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs. Though first grader Roscoe Riley always means well, he still has a lot to learn. So when his beloved stuffed pig Hamilton goes missing from school, he "jumps to a conclusion" and assumes that Wyatt, the meanest kid in the class, took Ham. And since Wyatt must be the pig-napper, it's only fair that Roscoe swipe the bully's teddy bear to get even, right?

Best-selling author Katherine Applegate returns for another hilarious life lesson with the antics of well-meaning Roscoe Riley. It seems everyone is winning trophies lately - except Roscoe. A dog trick contest could turn things around, but Roscoe's goofy dog can't learn any neat tricks. So he decides to trade the sweater his grandmother knitted him to borrow his neighbor's genius dog. Roscoe didn't much like the sweater before, but now that it's gone, he's starting to wonder if he made the right decision.

Alexander’s dad has a new job 1,000 miles away, so now his family has to move. Alexander would rather have poison ivy. Maybe he could live with the Baldwins and their dog. He’s always wanted a dog. How can he leave Rachel, his favorite baby-sitter, who taught him to stand on his head and whistle with two fingers (but not at the same time)? And his best friend Paul, who’s like a brother, except that he doesn’t call Alexander "puke-face" like his real brother does? Just as Alexander is ready to hide from his parents, Dad decides that a boy might need a dog....

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What’s more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dimwitted polar bear business partner, Total, wants to be reunited with his family.