Humorous Fiction Family

After sixth grade, the very worst year of his life, Rafe Khatchadorian thinks he has it made in seventh grade. He's been accepted to art school in the big city and imagines a math-and-history-free fun zone. Wrong! It's more competitive than Rafe ever expected, and to score big in class, he needs to find a way to turn his boring life into the inspiration for a work of art. His method? Operation: Get a Life! Anything he's never done before, he's going to do it, from learning to play poker to going to a modern art museum.

Listeners get a chance to participate in James Patterson's wildly successful Middle School series in this interactive book featuring more than 80 hilarious anecdotes from dueling siblings Rafe and Georgia Khatchadorian - plus dozens of fun-filled activities!

Just as Jacob Two-Two settles into his new life in Canada, things are turned upside down! First, Jacob gets a new neighbor, who does double duty as a spy; then he gets a new principal, who turns out to be mean and nasty; and then, unknowingly, he makes an enemy - but who could it be? Jacob Two-Two returns in this new adventure that takes him into the fascinating world of spycraft!

Olivia is a vegetarian. Ivy is a vampire. And they're twins?!? Ever since Olivia discovered that her long-lost twin sister, Ivy, is a vampire, she's been soaking up everything Ivy will tell her about Franklin Grove's vampire community. It's all top secret, and Olivia's sworn that she'll never tell another soul. But now, nosy tabloid reporter Serena Star is snooping around. As she gets closer and closer to the truth, it's up to Ivy and Olivia to throw her off track. This is one fangtastic news story that can't get out!

Farrah "Digit" Higgins may be going to MIT in the fall, but this L.A. high school genius has left her geek self behind in another school district so she can blend in with the popular crowd at Santa Monica High and actually enjoy her senior year. But when Farrah, the daughter of a UCLA math professor, unknowingly cracks a terrorist group's number sequence, her laid-back senior year gets a lot more interesting. Soon she is personally investigating the case, on the run from terrorists, and faking her own kidnapping - all while trying to convince a young, hot FBI agent to take her seriously.

In this Junior Library Guild selection, Little Rose must brush her teeth, wash her face, and climb into bed while Mama takes a quick phone call. But as the call drags on, waves of uninvited guests pass through the front door. Soon the house overflows with bizarre visitors—from “muscley” men to winking wizards. As Mama continues to ignore the raucous revelry, Rose finally joins the party. But before the uproar gets out of hand, something quite surprising happens.

In rural North Carolina, in 1951, despite parental reassurances, a typhoid shot hurt. It hurt even more when the children saw who would be administering the shot: Miss Winnie, a large, dictatorial nurse who had been "especially built by the nursing school so she would never blow away in a hard wind".

Tallulah strives for perfection during ballet class and dreams of dancing a solo in the upcoming recital, but her little brother Beckett, who misbehaves all during class, gets a better role than she does.

This fun-filled tale by acclaimed children’s author Laura McGee Kvasnosky was named an ALA Notable Children’s Book and received the Theodor Seuss Geisel Beginning Reader Award. Fox sisters Zelda and Ivy refuse to eat cucumber sandwiches for lunch ever again. To avoid this nasty meal, they pack their bags and run away (even if they only make it to the backyard). The young foxes’ adventures are separated into three chapters - perfect for young listeners.

When Ben's fortune cookie tells him that the best things in life are free, he believes he can get anything he wants without paying for it—as long as it's the best. But Ben’s dreams of free cookies and fancy scooters are quickly dashed when schoolyard bully Flegg McEggars steals his fortune.

Four hilarious stories with amazing music and sound effects. Henry is dragged to dancing classes against his will; vies with Moody Margaret to make the yuckiest Glop!; goes camping in France; and tries to be good like Perfect Peter, but not for long.

No sneaking out. No going into Boston alone. Moxie Fleece knows the rules and follows them - that is, until the day she opens her front door to a mysterious stranger. Suddenly, Moxie drops smack into Boston’s biggest unsolved mystery: the Gardner Museum art heist. Moxie has two weeks to find the art, otherwise she - and the people she loves - will be in big-time danger. Her tools? Her best friend, Ollie, a geocaching addict who loves to find stuff; her Alzheimer’s suffering grandfather, Grumps, who knows lots more than he lets on; and a geometry proof that she sets up to sort out the clues.

Ruth, Naomi, Rachel and Phoebe Conroy love reading and having fun more than anything else. So the sisters are horrified when they learn that their parents are sending them away to Cumbria for the summer, to stay with their fearsome grandmother, but worst of all, she refuses to let the girls read any books. Determined to enjoy their summer, the sisters decide they aren't going to put up with their grandmother's tough regime, and in doing so, they somehow manage to cause inordinate amounts of chaos.

Stanley and his family receive an unexpected phone call from Scotland Yard. Stanley has been invited to London to help with a top-secret case. One of the crown jewels was stolen years ago. The queen has long suspected Lady Laura, her distant cousin, of the theft, and Lady Laura will be in London to attend a formal ball at Buckingham Palace. If she has the jewel, this will be the perfect time to wear it. And that's where Stanley comes in. Stanley loves the idea of being a spy, even if being flat has nothing to do with his mission. Or so he thinks....

To Mr. and Mrs. Watson, Mercy is not just a pig, she's a porcine wonder. And to the portly and good-natured Mercy, the Watsons are an excellent source of buttered toast, not to mention that buttery-toast feeling she gets when she snuggles into bed with them. This is not, however, so good for the Watsons' bed. BOOM! CRACK! Welcome to the wry and endearing world of Mercy Watson.

Here's a bittersweet story about the perils and pleasures of pounds and pennies. It will make you laugh and cry. Two bothers, Damian and Anthony, are unwittingly caught up in a train robbery during Britain's countdown to join the Euro. Suddenly finding themselves with a vast amount of cash, the boys have just one glorious, appalling dilemma - how to spend it in the few days before it becomes worthless.

Pinkalicious is searching for stones for her rock collection when suddenly - poof! - out pops a surprise! Rocky is here to grant Pinkalicious and her brother, Peter, one wish and one wish only, so they must choose wisely. Should they wish for a pile of sweets? Or the ability to fly? Or maybe a castle with a fire-breathing dragon? But are any of those things good enough to be their very best, most special wish in the whole wide world? And what will happen to Rocky after they make their wish?

When Arthur finds Sue Ellen's lost diary at the library, he wonders whether or not to read it before he returns it to her.

In the follow up to The Tapper Twins Go to War, Geoff Rodkey delivers another ultra-modern comedy told as oral history with texts, screenshots, and smartphone photos. When Claudia initiates a citywide scavenger hunt to raise money for charity, it's not just the twins' opposing teams that run riot.

Junie B. Jones is a very grown-up little lady. So how come everyone treats her like a baby? It's not fair! And Junie B. knows just how to fix the situation. Her aunt Flo is getting married. What a perfect chance for her to show everyone how grown-up she is! Too bad she wasn't picked to be the flower girl in the wedding so she could really show off. But surely Junie B. can still find some way to get everyone's attention?