Humorous Fiction Family

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

Never before has the world seen such a princess. Nor have her own subjects, for that matter. Mia's royal introduction to Genovia has mixed results: while her fashion sense is widely applauded, her position on the installation of public parking meters is met with resistance.

When Ben reads his fortune-cookie fortune, he's alarmed and inspired. Immediately, he begins drafting a bucket list of unfinished tasks and lifelong dreams (finish his 1000-piece model of the Taj Mahal, eat an entire cake, etc.). As Ben marches himself in and out of trouble, takes useful risks, and helps both his parents to see the bigger picture, readers discover how something that seems scary can instead be empowering - leading to friendships that might never have been made, neighbors that might never have been known, and apple pies that might otherwise never have been baked.

One day, Stan and Jan Berenstain were captured by a family of bears. It was a family of three - an overenthusiastic Papa whose high opinion of himself was exceeded only by his ability to do silly things (often placing himself in jeopardy from bees, skunks, low-hanging branches, whales, irate farmers, etc.) a wise, steady Mama with a firm grip on reality, and a bright enterprising little boy cub.

There are good moms and bad moms - and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic, and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably.

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What’s more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dimwitted polar bear business partner, Total, wants to be reunited with his family.

Ramona feels this is the awkward age - too little to stay by herself after school when her mother is at work, but too big to enjoy playing with pesty Willa Jean at her sitter's house. These days, all Ramona really wants is to twitch her nose and be her mother's little rabbit like she used to be. Can't she be her mother's little girl forever?

Save the birds! Save the trees! That's what the cubs are saying around Bear Country. If Squire Grizzly gets his way and cuts down the trees in Birder's Woods, the yellow popinjays will have nowhere to rest. They could disappear forever. It's up to the cubs to save this important part of nature before it's too late!

Popular author Katherine Applegate has won a devoted following for her Roscoe Riley Rules series, which features a loveable youngster who has his own guidelines for getting by in life. Roscoe has already learned not to glue his friends to chairs, not to steal from bullies, and not to swap his sweaters for dogs. But when his class plans a field trip to an apple orchard, he gets himself into his stickiest situation yet—and learns a new rule in the process.

Unhappy Penelope Lumley is trapped in unhappy Plinkst! Even the beets for which Plinkst is inexplicably famous fail to grow in this utterly miserable Russian village. Penelope anxiously counts the days and wonders how she will ever get back to England in time to save all the Ashtons—who, she now knows, include herself and the Incorrigible children, although their precise location on the family tree is still a mystery—from their accursèd fate.

It's pooey on B-A-B-I-E-S until Junie B. finds out that her new dumb old baby brother is a big fat deal. Her two bestest friends are giving her everything they own just to see him. And guess what else? Maybe she can bring him to school on Pet Day.

“Something good” is exactly what Tyya, Andrew and Julie want to put into their shopping cart. Tyya’s dad won’t buy anything good at the store—no ice cream, no candy, no cookies. But when the saleslady puts a price sticker on Tyya’s nose, Daddy is finally forced to buy something good.

Now that Septimus, Jenna, and Beetle are 14 years old, they have assumed larger roles in their Magykal world. Beetle is the Chief Hermetic Scribe of the Manuscriptorium and Jenna will soon be Queen, but Septimus is still battling the remnants of the Darke Domaine, which will remain until the power of the evil Two-Faced Ring is destroyed forever. To accomplish that, the ancient Alchemie Fyre must be relit - a task that sends Septimus to the very origins of Magyk and Physik.

Popular children's author Katherine Applegate presents this fun sequel to her instant hit, Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs. Though first grader Roscoe Riley always means well, he still has a lot to learn. So when his beloved stuffed pig Hamilton goes missing from school, he "jumps to a conclusion" and assumes that Wyatt, the meanest kid in the class, took Ham. And since Wyatt must be the pig-napper, it's only fair that Roscoe swipe the bully's teddy bear to get even, right?

Lemon Peabody loves spending time with Grandpa Walt. Even though he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and moved to an assisted living facility, he’s still the same funny, loving grandpa he’s always been. One of Grandpa’s claims to fame is his story about meeting an alien years ago—and that it looked like a garden gnome. Ever since, it’s been something of a town-wide joke, and the cause of a rift between Grandpa and Lemon’s dad. Lemon is determined to find those extraterrestrial gnomes and vindicate Grandpa Walt—while Grandpa can still remember it.

Growing up in an orphanage, Leila was bullied for being different. She turned her hardship into skill by becoming an escape artist - a valuable trait when belonging to a group of magical best friends. But when a famous psychic comes to town, Leila and her pals won't be able to escape the big mystery heading their way. Whether chasing mad monkeys or banishing ghosts from haunted hotels, these six friends will do their best to keep Mineral Wells safe - but can they still protect themselves in the process?

Ramona Quimby is thrilled to be starting kindergarten. She likes a little boy named Davy so much she wants to kiss him, and she loves Susan's beautiful curls so much she wants to pull them to see them boing. Her teacher even promises her a present just for sitting still! So how does Ramona get in trouble? Well, anyone who knows Ramona knows that she is never a pest on purpose.

Hansel and Gretel walk out of their own story and into eight other classic Grimm (and Grimm-inspired) fairy tales. An irreverent, witty narrator leads us through encounters with witches, warlocks, dragons, and the devil himself. As the siblings roam a forest brimming with menacing foes, they learn the true story behind the famous tales, as well as how to take charge of their destinies and create their own happily ever after. Because once upon a time, fairy tales were awesome.

When Alice TodHunter Moon was five years old, she saw a beautiful golden Dragon Boat fly over her PathFinder village. She knew at once that the boat was Magykal. That was years ago, before her mother died, her father disappeared at sea, and the Garmin took her best friend, Ferdie. Now it's up to Tod and Ferdie's brother Oskar to rescue Ferdie from the Garmins' keeper, the malevolent Lady.

This spring, Mia's determined to have a good time, despite the fact that the student government over which she presides is suddenly broke. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) Grandmere has an elaborate scheme to simultaneously raise money, catapult Mia to theatrical fame, and link her romantically with an eligible teen bachelor, not her boyfriend. It's no wonder that Michael, the love of her life, seems to think she's a psycho, or worse: not much fun.