Humorous Fiction Family

Almost one year ago, Alice TodHunter Moon left her PathFinder village to become Apprentice to ExtraOrdinary Wizard Septimus Heap. Now, in faraway lands, the Castle is in peril. The brilliant blue stone is crumbling to dust, and both the witch Marisa and the wicked Red Queen have their eyes on the throne. But as Tod sets off on a hazardous journey to find a new Keystone, her life may be in the greatest danger of all. Can she save the Castle while evading the fate that befell her mother?

Ella Brook can't wait to grow up, because one day she will become a fairy and have her own sparkly wings and a teacher on Fairy Tube, just like her mom! Until then, Ella has to learn by watching her mom in action. But sometimes spells go wrong, and Ella's mom can never seem to remember the right magic codes on her Computawand. A lot of the time, it's up to Ella to come to the rescue. Does she have what it takes to be a fairy one day? Or will there be more glitches than glitter?

For 60 years Eleanor Estes' classic novel about a family struggling to get along in the early part of the century has charmed and delighted readers with its warmth and gentle humor. Now it comes to life in a full cast recording that will have you laughing out loud...and occasionally wiping away a tear. Our whole cast fell in love with this book, and we predict that you will, too.

Willy, Tom, and Grace want to surprise Mom by helping her out. But why is there smoke coming from Mom's ears?

Julie thinks her new neighbors must be very scary because all the stuff being moved into their house is enormous. Then she meets David and finds out that he's just a normal, regular boy. But when David's father calls him for supper the sound makes Julie jump in the air, run in a circle three times, run home and lock herself in her room until it is time for breakfast the next day. Could David's father be a giant?

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

Randy and Oliver Melendy awake one morning full of gloom. Their brothers and sisters are away, the house seems forlorn and empty, and even Cuffy, their adored housekeeper, can't pick up their spirits. Will they have to face a long and lonely winter?

Billy and Sheena always expect adventure when they join their uncle, Dr. Deep, aboard his hi-tech boat. What they don't expect is a treasure hunt leading to a 200-year-old sea captain...who refuses to stay dead!

Poor Jacob Two-Two. Not only must he say everything twice just to be heard over his four brothers and sisters, but he finds himself the prisoner of the dreaded Hooded Fang. What had he done to deserve such a punishment? The worst crime of all - insulting a grown-up! Although he's small, Jacob is not helpless, especially when The Infamous Two come to his aid.

What happens when Joey and his sister, Mary Alice - two city slickers from Chicago - make their annual summer visits to Grandma Dowdel's seemingly sleepy Illinois town? Joey and Mary Alice make seven summer trips to Grandma's, each one funnier and more surprising than the year before.

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

When Abby and Jonah's magic mirror brings them into the story of Hansel and Gretel, they're determined not to fracture this tasty fairy tale. They figure it'll be a piece of gingerbread cake - until Hansel and Gretel turn out to be not so sweet. The brother and sister end up trapping Abby and Jonah in the witch's candy house. So now it's up to the Smithville siblings to escape - and find their way back to home sweet home!

You are presumably looking here for clues to the shocking conclusion of this terminal audiobook, or the ending of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.

National Book Awards Audiobook of the Year 2014. From number one bestselling author David Walliams comes another heartfelt but hilarious hoot of an adventure. Stella Saxby is the sole heir to Saxby Hall. But awful Aunt Alberta and her giant owl will stop at nothing to get it from her. Luckily Stella has a secret - and slightly spooky - weapon up her sleeve....

Thanks to the efforts of Miss Penelope Lumley, their plucky governess, Alexander, Beowulf, and Cassiopeia are much more like children than wolf pups now. They are accustomed to wearing clothes. They hardly ever howl at the moon. And for the most part, they resist the urge to chase squirrels up trees.

The Herdmans are the worst kids in the history of the world. They lie, steal, smoke cigars, swear, and hit little kids. So no one is prepared when this outlaw family invades church one Sunday and decides to take over the annual Christmas pageant.

At twenty-four, Hera is a clump of unmet potential. To her, the future is nothing but an exhausting thought exercise, one depressing hypothetical after another. She’s sharp in more ways than one, adrift in her own smug malaise, until her new job moderating the comments section of an online news outlet—a role even more mind-numbing than it sounds—introduces her to Arthur, a middle-aged journalist. Though she's preferred women to men for years now, she soon finds herself falling into an all-consuming affair with him.

Eleven year-old Peter Lee has one goal in life: to become a paleontologist. Okay, maybe two: to get his genius kid sister, L.B., to leave him alone. But his summer falls apart when his real-life dinosaur expedition turns out to be a bust, and he watches his dreams go up in a cloud of asthma-inducing dust.

Lord Fredrick Ashton may not feel ready to be a father, but with a little Ashton on the way he's sure about one thing: The wolfish curse on his family must end soon, before the child is born. Penelope willingly takes on the challenge; when Lady Constance's doctor prescribes a seaside holiday, Penelope jumps at the chance to take the three Incorrigible children to Brighton, where she hopes to persuade the old sailor Pudge to reveal what he knows about the Ashton curse.