Humorous Horror

Marcus was convinced that vampires didn’t exist. He was very wrong... On his thirteenth birthday, Marcus Howlett is faced with a bombshell. His parents are half-vampire. And, although he hates the thought of it, he is about to become one too. But, as he secretly blogs about the horrors of his new fangs, bad breath and cravings for blood, Marcus is unaware that his life is in serious danger...

Sherlock Bones, the world's greatest dog detective, and his trusty sidekick Dr Jane Catson are back for two more crime-solving adventures. In The Curse of the Pharoah's Mask, Bones and Catson are visiting the tombs of the ancient feline kings in Egypt when they discover that a precious mask has been stolen. But the mystery is not as straightforward as it first seems. In The Horror of the Haunted Castle, when a wealthy dog spots a ghostly figure haunting her kennel she come to Bones and Catson for help. Bones is convinced there's no such things as ghosts.

A Bunch of Fives smacks you straight in the face with a mighty handful of horror fiction. It packs a punch with five hard-hitting short stories, all of which will leave you stunned and dizzy in a delirious stupor. Within this knuckled work you will find a professional hit man taking on more than he bargained for, a strange creature roaming a Vietnamese island, a nymphomaniac in the midst of a breakdown, a futuristic society obsessed with social media, and much more.

Bruce thinks he is helping mankind and playing his part in saving the planet when he develops his serum for speeding up the development of lab-grown cultured meat. What Bruce has actually done is send us to the bottom of the food chain. Well, not all the way to the bottom. We are still above ducks. Nobody gets eaten by a duck.

Es gibt keine Vampire. Umso ärgerlicher, wenn sie dann in Manchester auftauchen. Wirklich niemand freut sich darüber. Nicht die magischen Wesen, die es tatsächlich gibt, und schon gar nicht die Menschen in Manchester. Denn nichts ist ärgerlicher, als von ausgedachten Monstern um die Ecke gebracht zu werden. Zum Glück gibt es die Mitarbeiter der Stranger Times. Allerdings haben die schon genug zu tun. Hannah hat gerade eine chaotische Scheidung hinter sich und findet heraus, dass jemand versucht, eine Kollegin zu entführen.

Es gibt keine Vampire. Umso ärgerlicher, wenn sie dann in Manchester auftauchen. Wirklich niemand freut sich darüber. Nicht die magischen Wesen, die es tatsächlich gibt, und schon gar nicht die Menschen in Manchester. Denn nichts ist ärgerlicher, als von ausgedachten Monstern um die Ecke gebracht zu werden. Zum Glück gibt es die Mitarbeiter der Stranger Times. Allerdings haben die schon genug zu tun. Hannah hat gerade eine chaotische Scheidung hinter sich und findet heraus, dass jemand versucht, eine Kollegin zu entführen.

Ophelia thought she would have to stay in feline form forever, or at least until Mrs. Johnson died. Thanks to Thelma, Ophelia, and Thelma are able to find their way back to Enchanted after a lot of fun twists and turns and a ride in a suitcase. Ophelia soon learns that everyone in Enchanted has lessons to learn and fate to fulfill. Listen to how the family is reunited and just how Luna got that bubble butt.

Before Irma became our favorite funny ghost, she was just Irma Bankers, a young girl with a sad story. This is the prequel to My Millie series, and the fact is that I just could not let Irma go without telling her own unique story. Happy, loquacious Irma with the big blue eyes and love of anything polka dot was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. What happens that causes Irma to not speak for years, and what was the cause of her untimely end to life on Earth as she knew it? 

Gertie Enchanter was a great and powerful beauty and still is, hundreds of years later. Gertie escaped certain death at the hands of the great evil and landed in the United States. Learn how she met the love of her life and why she left Enchanted to be with him and raise her daughter, Ophelia, as a mortal. This is the fifth book in the Ghost series, although they are all written to be enjoyed individually as stand-alone stories as well.

The 13th Hour is the hour after midnight on All Hallows Eve, when Satan and his minions are most powerful - and dangerous! Thirteen teenage vampires kidnap a 13-year-old-girl, Emily, and are planning to sacrifice her to Satan during The 13th Hour. A successful sacrifice would increase their powers 13-fold. Emily’s friend, Amanda, finds out their gruesome plan, but she knows she can’t fight the vampires alone. With the help of Hurts, a worn-out, old, private detective, they must find Emily before The 13th Hour. Will they find her? Can they save her?

Das epische Ende der Geschichte von Sasha Urban. Ich habe meine Familie gefunden, ich habe mein Herz gefunden, ich habe mich selbst gefunden. Aber es ist nicht vorbei. Egal, wie viele Verbündete ich habe, es ist unmöglich, dem Schicksal zu entkommen. Das Ende der Welt naht, und ich bin die Einzige, die es aufhalten kann.

The only thing worse than the end of the universe is...Casual Day. Six denizens of Hell, one saint and a small blue alien join forces to stop the ultimate catastrophe: The destruction of the cosmos. That most of them are dead is of little consequence, for they possess great powers. Halos and horns, strength and sarcasm, courage and comedy, oh, and a management textbook: This team has them all. They are The League of Unusual Denizens.

Herb, Dallas, and Stanley live in Wisconsin, where life is nice and simple. Until Herb becomes a vampire. And Dallas becomes a werewolf. And Stanley becomes a zombie. Join the three friends on their hilariously awkward adventures as they learn that sometimes it takes a really big change to become who you were always meant to be.

Stanley's lonely. Before the strange events of the past few months, the self-proclaimed alien abductee and T.V. crime drama aficionado would drink and bowl with his friends, Herb and Dallas. Everything changes when Stanley becomes a zombie. With each bite, he gains a new friend. Soon, he has more friends than he would've ever thought possible. If he could just sink his teeth into Herb, Lois, and Dallas, they'd all be together again, and everything would be perfect.

A city where people are turning gleefully insane. Inescapable blood-sucking bugs. A serial killer who may have discovered proof of alien life. A kinky proposal to "even out" an instance of infidelity. A man whose fingernails are growing at an out of control rate. These are only a few of the stories in Jeff Strand's deranged new collection, which includes several macabre tales written just for these bloody audiobook.

Brightness Falls isn't just the name of the TV show that womanizing man-child Andrew Ware has been painstakingly creating for the last couple years, it's also his hometown. A town that he loves as much as he hates. By request of no one, Andrew returns home to help his sister separate from her husband, only to become sidetracked by a beautiful woman. A few drinks and few compliments later the woman is dead, killed in a tragic oral sex accident. In which Andrew would have lost his own life if it weren’t for the dapperly dressed, antler-headed, human skeleton named Doug.

When Dallas, the self-proclaimed hero of Trappersville, is recruited by an ancient order of monster hunters, he’s more than happy to sign up. The group’s leader, Colton, is solid as oak. Randall ain’t half bad, despite his tendency to whine. The whip-smart, beautiful, and totally badass Aletia is whip-smart, beautiful, and totally badass. Under their guidance, Dallas learns everything there is to know about hunting monsters (or close enough) and pledges to keep his friends safe.

A cruise ship for retired sex addicts, the USS Exciter, is the site of a party a lot of people on board will never forget (but some of them will, anyway). Lurking in the cargo hold is Horace Dracul, half-brother of the legendary Dracula, and he dreams of reaching the shores of a country where the blood flows like wine and bright, shiny lights are seemingly infinite. However, another member of the Exciter’s well-aged population has some secrets of her own: Martha - retired cyborg and ex-spy.

Some vampires are destined for greatness. Herb Knudsen isn't one of them. When truck-stop diner cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit more complicated. Herb’s not even sure how it happened. He wasn’t bitten by a vampire, which means there’s no one around to help him learn the ropes. With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courting disaster with every step. Despite learning each new lesson the hard way, being a vampire isn’t all bad.

What really lurks under your bed? Would you like to know about the madness of clowns - or the helpless cries of the Doughboy as he’s stuffed into the oven? Perhaps you fear being trapped in an elevator...for a rather long period of time...If this sounds like your kind of journey, let Don Broyles be your guide in Doughboy: And Other Strange Tales.