Humorous Thriller

Twenty years ago, I stole something that could win the war between Heaven and Hell. Don't get me wrong, I'm no do-gooder. I wanted to rule everything with the King of Hell. However, I have serious qualms with killing eight billion people in order to get what I want. He didn't. Irreconcilable differences, right? So, I did what any witch would do. I faked my death and hid out in the Seattle suburbs, living as a mundane. Stay at home moms are practically invisible here!

As a shaky truce between suburban gangsters starts to unravel, schlubby civilian Scott Clark has other things on his mind: if he can't afford to buy out his ex-father-in-law, Scott's about to lose the only house he's ever called home. In the red-hot urban housing market, he doesn't have a chance - until he and his best friends take the desperate measure of staging a fake drive-by shooting on the property to push down the asking price. But then Scott's mobster-posturing stunt attracts the attention of the real criminals.

Jennifer Allison's best-selling Gilda Joyce series features a spunky heroine with a knack for hunting down the paranormal. When best friend Wendy Choy gets an invitation to compete in a piano competition in Oxford, England, Gilda Joyce manages to secure a position as Wendy's page turner. They will sip tea, flirt with English boys, and bask in the warm glow of applause. But when Wendy seems set to become the next victim of a local ghost, the Psychic Investigator goes to work.

Stevie here, reporting to you live from Ebenezer Falls, Washington, with my disaster of a day. It started off like any other day, with the exception of Win's strange behavior, that is. But it's all gone downhill from there and I have questions. So many questions.... For instance, why is everyone else in Eb Falls behaving as strangely as my International Man of Mystery? And who the heck is Donna? For that matter, who's Candy Cane and why does she have snow? Who's the blonde picking up Win in our driveway? And was that an Aston Martin I just saw drive by?

Cas Russell is good at math. Scary good. The vector calculus blazing through her head lets her smash through armed men twice her size and dodge every bullet in a gunfight, and she'll take any job for the right price. As far as Cas knows, she’s the only person around with a superpower...until she discovers someone with a power even more dangerous than her own. Someone who can reach directly into people’s minds and twist their brains into Moebius strips. Someone intent on becoming the world’s puppet master. Cas should run, like she usually does, but for once she's involved.

Thirteen-year-old David Eliot was a disappointment to his parents. But to be sent to Groosham Grange? Hidden away on a lonely island, Groosham Grange is a school that is unknown to the outside world. Pupils are forced to sign their names in blood. An English teacher is held together entirely with bandages. A soccer ball is made of ... well, you'd rather not know. What is the chilling secret hidden behind the headmaster's door? And why are students disappearing in the middle of the night?

It's Mardi Gras season on the bayou, which means parades, pageantry, and gumbo galore. But when a flood upends life in the tiny town of Pelican, Louisiana - and deposits a body of a stranger behind the Crozat Plantation B&B - the celebration takes a decidedly dark turn. The citizens of Pelican are ready to laissez les bon temps rouler - but there's beaucoup bad blood on hand this Mardi Gras. Maggie Crozat is determined to give the stranger a name and find out why he was murdered.

Three ancient gods are freed from their prison with only one desire: to destroy the planet and everyone on it. To save us all, Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain must go undercover in a Dublin school. Skulduggery has to blend in with the teaching staff, while Valkyrie has to pass for an ordinary schoolgirl. Above all else, no matter what happens, they both must act completely and utterly normal. We are so dead.

The famous duo has been split! Watson has been banished from Holmes' company. Despite the interference of his horrible wife, Mary, Watson tirelessly insinuates himself into every magical adventure he can. Together, he and Holmes face a man with a twisted...everything, some very questionable juice-drinking Germans, Garrideb the Devourer, and the estimable Irene Adler. Yet, nothing can prepare them for Moriarty's new form and the terrible moment they must face their Finality Problem at the edge of the Reichenbach Falls.

The trial of the century has come to Tupelo Landing, North Carolina. Mo and Dale, aka the Desperado Detectives, head to court as star witnesses against Dale's daddy - confessed kidnapper Macon Johnson. Dale's nerves are jangled, but Mo, who doesn't mind getting even with Mr. Macon for hurting her loved ones, looks forward to a slam dunk conviction - if everything goes as expected. Of course nothing goes as expected.

Welcome to another kind of terror as Peter Straub leads us into the outer reaches of the psyche. Here the master of the macabre is at his absolute best in seven exquisite tales of living, dying, and the terror that lies in between.

When 15-year-old Beck Phillips travels by train to the secluded village of Kingsplot to live with his wealthy but estranged uncle, Beck discovers some dark family secrets. A buried basement, a forbidden wall, an old book of family history with odd references to...dragons? Beck's life is about to be changed forever in this suspenseful tale about the destructive nature of greed and the courage to make things right.

There's a murderer on the loose - but that doesn't stop the girls of St. Etheldreda's from attempting to hide the death of their headmistress in this rollicking farce. The students of St. Etheldreda's School for Girls face a bothersome dilemma. Their irascible headmistress, Mrs. Plackett, and her surly brother, Mr. Godding, have been most inconveniently poisoned at Sunday dinner.

Gameknight999's true enemy has finally surfaced: Herobrine, an artificially intelligent virus that wants to escape Minecraft and destroy mankind with their own creation - the Internet. If he is able to escape the game and get online, Herobrine will infect millions of computer systems and turn machines and weapons on their masters, threatening all of humanity.

In her latest mystery, Sammy Keyes feels responsible for the death of an old man whom she discovers on the fire escape and who, with his dying breath, begs her to take his wads of cash and throw them away!

In this 15th book about the irrepressible Sammy Keyes, she deals with the zaniest character to come out of her town yet - Justice Jack, Santa Martina's very own superhero. Dressed in spandex and a mask, he drives around on a dirt bike hoping to fight crime. Though everyone else seems taken with Jack, Sammy's not so sure and now that she has a real mystery to solve her detective skills are pushed to the limits by Jack's antics.

When a crewmember takes his own life but hands Patricia a cryptic note and a request to save Anna just before he jumps, she feels she has no choice but to honour his dying wish. Who is Anna though? The note leads her to investigate the odd-looking and mysterious couple staying in cabin 2124 and so begins an adventure that leads Patricia and her friends through the streets and underbelly of Tokyo, Japan. Why did he kill himself? And what are the couple in 2124 up to?

Emelda made a mistake she'll regret for the rest of her life—and it's put Kane in danger. Now, she has to right that wrong, and time is running out. She'll have to face unholy monsters, killer spy drones, and not one but two shadowy global organizations that want her dead. Or worse. To save Kane, she'll have to become something she'd never thought she had in her. Their pack of two is broken, and to save Kane, she will have to be clever. Fearless. Dangerous. Emelda Thorne will now be a lone wolf.

While staking out a cheating husband, Kate can't help but to indulge the cravings from her newest pregnancy. Little does she know the owner of the bakery has her eyes on Jim, Kate's beloved husband. Things turn deadly as Kate's cravings take over. It's up to Kate to keep her Family Life on track while solving another deadly whodunit!

This is Slappy's world-- you only scream in it! But where did he come from? And can he ever be destroyed? Slappy the ventriloquist's dummy has only one mission in his tiny, deranged mind: do evil every day, all day. His creator, powerful sorcerer Darkwell the Magician, has warned him that should he fail to cause chaos before the sun sets each day, he will sleep FOREVER.