Humourous Mysteries

Sophie Young and Grace Yang have been taking it easy ever since they solved the biggest crime Luna Vista had ever seen. But things might get interesting again now that everyone is gearing up for the 125th annual Winter Sun Festival - a town tradition that involves floats, a parade, and a royal court made up of local high school girls.

Sophie Young and Grace Yang: best friends, seventh graders, spies. Equipped with walkie-talkies, binoculars, and candy, the girls sneak out for one of their midnight spy missions expecting a simple stakeout. But what starts as a silly game turns very real when they peek in on Luna Vista's notoriously bizarre middle-school counselor, Dr. Charlotte Agford (aka Dr. Awkward). Is there more to Dr. Agford than her tacky clothes and sugary falsetto voice? Sophie and Grace are convinced something sinister lurks below the surface... and they just might be right.

Life is never quiet at the Homestead. First, it was disappearing animals, then a power-hungry dairy queen. Now it’s a Renaissance Faire, a noisy, stinky spectacle that drives Horace to distraction. Bunwinkle, on the other hand, can’t get enough of the festivities—she loves the thrilling jousts, the court intrigue…and especially the pickles on a stick.

Fifteen-year-old Ryan is running away from home, looking for escape and adventure. But unfortunately, sometimes people do get what they wish for. Ryan hasn’t gone far before he is set upon by a bunch of scary, nihilistic punk-sorcerers who need him to set off a doomsday device that will destroy the planet and everyone on it. Fun! Riding to the rescue, however, is a certain skeleton detective and his teenage partner/combat accessory. Now Skulduggery and Valkyrie only have a few hours to figure out what's going on, while saving Ryan and – incidentally – the whole world.

When last we met, good people, the biggest wish I've ever made came to fruition. My outrageously handsome, smart, sometimes persnickety (read mostly persnickety) Spy Guy, Winterbottom, is finally here on earth with me, recuperating from his afterlife jaunt. Sure, he can be a difficult patient. Add in the fact that some of the spells I've cast to make this dream a reality have had repercussions (an understatement), and it's been sheer chaos. When my favorite men decide that I should take a day for myself, I hesitantly head out. And then I die. You can imagine, it only goes downhill....

Daniel T. Drunk, Jr. if you really wanna know. And I’m on a plane headed to Paradise Isle on the trip of a lifetime. The occasion? My honeymoon. Except, there’s only one problem. I’m riding solo. It’s a really long story, and if you don’t mind, I’d prefer to leave it at that. Really? You must know? Fine, I get it. You’re the nosey type. Here’s the abbreviated version. I came within an inch of marrying a cheating slut. There. Get the picture? Good.

Missing shoes, stolen paperclips, and stalkers. Oh, what an afterlife! Bridget finally gets her first assignment as an Independent Authority agent: The not-so-glamorous case of The Paperclip Theft. Regardless, she is determined to close the matter quickly and move on to something more challenging. And then, the dead body of the Afterlife Arrivals commander topples out of the stationery cupboard.

A family-run haunted hotel’s livelihood is threatened when a bigger haunted hotel opens nearby in this hilarious, spooky story. Twelve-year-old Willow Ivan’s family has run the Hotel Ivan for 400 years. Through thick and thin, they’ve held on tight to their title as the Best Haunted Hotel on Mercer Street. That is, until the Hauntery – a corporate chain of haunted hotels – moves in down the street. As the Ivan’s business fades, so do their ghostly staff. And Willow begins to worry that the Ivan’s days are numbered.

Emelda made a mistake she'll regret for the rest of her life—and it's put Kane in danger. Now, she has to right that wrong, and time is running out. She'll have to face unholy monsters, killer spy drones, and not one but two shadowy global organizations that want her dead. Or worse. To save Kane, she'll have to become something she'd never thought she had in her. Their pack of two is broken, and to save Kane, she will have to be clever. Fearless. Dangerous. Emelda Thorne will now be a lone wolf.

Zach Johnson, the world's last freelance detective, has been man-napped by the beautiful sapphire-haired Amazon Kiana. She's brought him to her home island of Lantis - where the women dominate men with their words - to discover who killed her mother, the Queen. But to save the day this time, Zach and his holographic AI sidekick, HARV, have to tangle with not just one gorgeous superwoman, but four. Each of Kiana's three sisters could have the motive and the means to pull off the crime - and now that you mention it, Kiana could too....

The last freelance PI on earth, Zach Johnson has been hired to track down a young beauty who happens to be a deadly secret weapon for the World Council. Figuring girls just want to have fun, he follows Natasha to various vacation destinations, but she eludes him, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. Zach, however, isn’t surprised to discover that things aren’t what they seem, and to save the world, he’s going to have to find a way to team up with the woman he’s supposed to destroy....

The world's last freelance detective, Zach Johnson, must find the assassin who murdered Sexy Sprocket and two other members of the World Council. His investigation leads him to the moon - and to a tall, sensuous, blue-haired beauty named Lea who possesses psychic powers and powerful ambitions....

In the year 2060, Zach Johnson, the world's only freelance private investigator, tackles his strangest case yet - solving the murders of two elves at the North Pole. Santana Clausa, the micro-mini-skirt-clad bombshell and frost-haired mutant who runs the Pole, hires Zach to stop the killer or killers before they strike again, destroying the holiday for billions. If the media gets whiff of the murders at the "happiest, safest place on Earth", mass panic is sure to ensue - and that's never a good thing.

No sooner has Sally May finished planting her vegetable garden when some kind of unearthly being decides to burrow in the neatly planted rows of tomatoes and peppers. It looks like a job for the Head of Ranch Security, so Hank sets straight to work trying to dig the space monster robot out of its hole.

When Sally May and Loper head off to visit the relatives, leaving Slim in charge of Little Alfred, Hank knows that trouble is sure to come knocking. But not even the Head of Ranch Security could have predicted what would happen.

Sometimes I take an opportunity to say good-bye to the cattle and wish them a safe journey. "Well, good-bye, you morons. It was nice having you here at the ranch, but it'll be even nicer having you gone. You ate all our grass and taking care of you was a pain in the neck. Good-bye, good riddance, and don't ever come back."

It’s 1993, and Jay and Colin are small-town geeks. Senior year is nearly over, and they’re still as unpopular as ever. Everything changes when they discover a disk containing a computer program called The Build, a pixel-perfect replica of their hometown. As the boys tweak its code, they discover they can bend the laws of reality. With godlike power, they react as any teenager would: hacking high school to make it more awesome. But someone - or something - is watching.

On the first day of school, Artie falls out of his bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." On the second day of school, Artie falls out of bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." Huh?

Are you average? Normal? Forgettable? If so, The League of Unexceptional Children is for you! This first book in a hilarious new adventure series is for anyone who's struggled to be noticed in a sea of above-average overachievers. What is The League of Unexceptional Children? I'm glad you asked. You didn't ask? Well, you would have eventually and I hate to waste time. The League of Unexceptional Children is a covert network that uses the nation's most average, normal, and utterly unexceptional children as spies.

Hank encounters the weirdest cat he's ever seen when he, Slim, Drover, and Little Alfred head over to the Hodge's place to feed the cattle. Hank gets bumped out of the back of the Cammo-Stealth army truck. Mary D. Cat is the only one around to help keep Rip and Snort at bay. Will Slim realize Hank is missing in action? Is Mary D. Cat really a vampire? Or could it be - gulp - that she's a good cat after all?