Humourous Mysteries

From Emmy Award-winning author David Quantick, All My Colors is a darkly comic novel about a man who remembers a book that may not exist, with dire consequences. A bizarre, mind-bending story at the intersection of Richard Bachman, Charlie Kaufman, and Franz Kafka.

Get ready for laughs when you listen to these excerpts from ten of Hank's stories. Performed in the style of an old-time radio show, complete with sound effects and a unique voice for each character! You will hear Hank as he bargains for a priceless corncob, learns about manners from Wallace the Buzzard, runs into Rip and Snort the coyote brothers, taunts a raging rottweiler, gets into trouble with Sally May the rancher's wife, and more!

Richard's cousin is missing, and his best hope of finding her rests with the wily, one-eyed, ex-governor of Florida. Carl Hiaasen introduces his iconic character Skink to a younger audience in this nail-biting adventure! Classic Malley: Her parents are about to ship her off to boarding school, so she takes off with some guy she met online...Poor Richard: He's less of a rebel than Malley, and a lot less trusting. He knows his cousin is in trouble before she does. Wild Skink: He's a ragged, one-eyed, ex-governor of Florida, and enough of a renegade to think he can track Malley down.

Hank learns about a tool thief on the loose who uses a monkey to help him do his dirty work. And before long, Hank finds himself face-to-face with the pilfering primate! Can Hank help to stop the criminals in their tracks, or will the crooks make a monkey out of the Head of Ranch Security?

Rufus the Doberman Pinscher has come to the ranch, and he's harassing the girl of Hank's dreams - the beautiful Miss Beulah the Collie. Meanwhile, Hank is suffering a serious case of mopwater poisoning. In his weakened condition, he enlists the help of that crafty little owl, Madame Moonshine.

When a funny turn of events brings a parrot to the ranch, Hank is not worried. After all, what harm can one copycat bird do? So he decides to go about his business. The only problem is, Loper and Sally May don't seem to appreciate his heeding their requests to bark louder and dig up the flowers. What's really going on here? Hank's not sure, but he's determined to find out! Picknickers sing "Because Thy Loving Kindness," and Drover sings a little number called "There Once Was a Doggie".

A bloodbath is a shocking new challenge for Megan and Brigit when Detective Audrey Jackson calls them to the scene of what could only be a brutal murder. But the one thing the nightmarish scene is missing is a victim. The frantic homeowner's husband is gone, seemingly without a trace - and so is the money he was holding. Has a vicious killer committed what might just be the perfect crime?

There's a new guidance counselor at Bailey Elementary School and he's giving the kids the creeps. No one understands why his skin is so pale, why he hides from the sun, or why his skin is deathly cold to the touch. But Counselor Drake couldn't really be Count Dracula, could he?

Sherlock Bones, the world's greatest dog detective, and his trusty sidekick Dr Jane Catson are back for two more crime-solving adventures. In The Curse of the Pharoah's Mask, Bones and Catson are visiting the tombs of the ancient feline kings in Egypt when they discover that a precious mask has been stolen. But the mystery is not as straightforward as it first seems. In The Horror of the Haunted Castle, when a wealthy dog spots a ghostly figure haunting her kennel she come to Bones and Catson for help. Bones is convinced there's no such things as ghosts.

At long last, all of Bridget Sway's dreams are about to come true! She is in a department store. Shopping. Yes. Shopping! She has new makeup. New shoes. And, most importantly, is finally about to get some new underwear. But, instead of finding a frilly knicker and bra set, she finds the body of a dead medium. A familiar dead medium.

After James gets a pen-and-ink set for his birthday, Marvin the beetle surprises him by creating an elaborate miniature drawing. James gets all the credit for the picture and before these unlikely friends know it they are caught up in a staged art heist at the Metropolitan Museum of Art that could help recover a famous drawing by Albrecht Dürer. But James can't go through with the plan without Marvin's help. And that's where things get really complicated (and interesting!)

It seems just about everyone in Hollywood had a reason to want Steve Peterman dead. But how someone managed to put a knife in his back on a live broadcast without being seen is anyone's guess. Unfortunately for Fletch, his girlfriend, Moxie Mooney, a huge star at the box office, is also the number-one suspect. With the police asking way too many questions, Fletch whisks Moxie and her drunken father off to Key West for a little privacy. But before he can even check out the beach, the rest of the suspects decide to check in.

The trial of the century has come to Tupelo Landing, North Carolina. Mo and Dale, aka the Desperado Detectives, head to court as star witnesses against Dale's daddy - confessed kidnapper Macon Johnson. Dale's nerves are jangled, but Mo, who doesn't mind getting even with Mr. Macon for hurting her loved ones, looks forward to a slam dunk conviction - if everything goes as expected. Of course nothing goes as expected.

When Brian and Gregory receive an invitation to stay at a distant relative's strange manse...well, they should know better than to go, since this is a middle-grade adventure novel. But they go anyway. Why not? Once there, they stumble upon The Game of Sunken Places, a board game that mirrors a greater game for which they have suddenly become players. Soon the boys are dealing with attitudinal trolls, warring kingdoms, and some very starchy britches.

Harold and Chester could hardly believe it. The Monroe family was going on vacation without them. Bunnicula, the family rabbit, would be boarded with a neighbor. But they, the family's loyal dog and cat, were to be sent away with strangers; they were to spend a week at Chateau Bow-Wow. Chateau Bow-Wow, observed Chester,soon after they arrived, could more properly be called Howliday Inn. Though what was howling, neither of them knew. Chester had his suspicions, however; only a werewolf could make that chilling sound.

It all starts with a school essay. Twelve-year-old Gratuity “Tip” Tucci is assigned to write five pages on “The True Meaning of Smekday” for the National Time Capsule contest, and she’s not sure where to begin: When her mom started telling everyone about the messages aliens were sending through a mole on the back of her neck? Maybe on Christmas Eve, when huge, bizarre spaceships descended to Earth, and aliens - called the Boov - abducted her mother?

Witch-in-training Emma Hart is preparing for one of the worst days of her life...the marriage of fallen angel Daniel Starr to the spoiled fairy, Elsa Knightsbridge. Fortunately for Emma, distractions are easy to come by in Spellbound when a troll is found dead near a bridge and an overzealous werewolf is arrested for indecent exposure. Will these incidents be enough to keep Emma from falling apart? Or will one of these situations be her undoing?

Hank the Cowdog could have told Slim that bringing an orphaned raccoon back to the ranch was not the best idea. But since Slim never pays any attention to Hank, Loper, and Sally May soon find themselves housing an adolescent coon with a mischievous streak a mile wide.

It's summertime, and the weather on Hank's West Texas ranch is hot and dry. So dry, in fact, that everyone is on the lookout for prairie fires. So Hank bravely adds the title of Head of Fire Safety to his already impressive list of responsibilities and gets to work. But patrolling for fires is dull, and it's hard to do on an empty stomach. Despite the distractions - desperate hunger, a cruel trick at the hands of Pete the Barncat - Hank somehow manages to stay focused on the job at hand.

Junior is loving his life with the Khatchadorian family. But his idyllic life soon turns to terror when a mysterious individual begins to make trouble in the neighborhood. It starts with a mysterious howling in the night. And when Junior's pooch pals realize their favorite toys are missing, things get serious. Junior thinks he knows what is happening. He's heard of a mysterious creature called the Howly Wiener that visits town once a year and fills the street with monsters.