Orphans Home

What would happen if you discovered that your family was one of the most powerful in human history? What if you were told that the source of the family's power was hidden around the world, in the form of 39 Clues? What if you were given a choice - take a million dollars and walk away...or get the first Clue? If you're Amy and Dan Cahill, you take the Clue - and begin a very dangerous race.

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audio instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.

A New York Times best seller and USA Today best-selling book! From award-winning actor Neil Patrick Harris comes the magical first book in a new series with plenty of tricks up its sleeve. When street magician Carter runs away, he never expects to find friends and magic in a sleepy New England town. But like any good trick, things change instantly as greedy B.B. Bosso and his crew of crooked carnies arrive to steal anything and everything they can get their sticky fingers on.

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

For nearly a century, Victorian London relied on "climbing boys" - orphans owned by chimney sweeps - to clean flues and protect homes from fire. The work was hard, thankless and brutally dangerous. Eleven-year-old Nan Sparrow is quite possibly the best climber who ever lived. With her wits and will, she's managed to beat the deadly odds time and again. But when Nan gets stuck in a deadly chimney fire, she fears her time has come. Instead, she wakes to find herself in an abandoned attic - and not alone. Huddled in the corner is a mysterious creature - a golem - made from ash and coal.

Regardless of how they pass their time while at a hotel, the three siblings will be sure to take in all the interesting sights and sounds, and write them down, just in case this episode turns out to be the darkest yet in a series of unfortunate events.

Back at home after their first adventure in the Barren Grounds, Eli and Morgan each struggle with personal issues: Eli is being bullied at school, and tries to hide it from Morgan, while Morgan has to make an important decision about her birth mother. They turn to the place where they know they can learn the most and make the journey to Misewa to visit their animal friends. This time they travel back in time and meet a young fisher who might just be their lost friend. But they discover that the village is once again in peril.

Three complete stories in one collection! Includes The Mystery Girl, The Mystery Cruise, and The Disappearing Friend Mystery. In The Mystery Girl, Henry, Jessie, Violet, and Benny are working in a general store to help out a friend of Aunt Jane’s. It seems to the children that the young girl who works in the store is behaving very strangely. She seems nervous and won’t answer any questions about her past. Then a strange man comes to the store asking about her. What secret is the mystery girl hiding?

While exploring World’s End, an area in Aski they've just discovered, Morgan and Emily delight in their developing relationship, while Eli struggles to understand his new-found power: the ability to locate a portal. A shocking turn of events leads them to a new village, Ministik, where the animal beings who live there are going missing. Horrified to discover who is responsible, the children vow to help and turn to friends, old and new. But it's getting harder and harder to keep the two worlds separate, especially when details of a traditional legend change everything. Forever.

One warm night four children stood in front of a bakery. No one knew them. No one knew where they had come from. Henry, Jessie, Violet, and Benny are orphans. Can they find a home where they can stay together as a family?

The Big Wander is a trip 14-year-old Clay Lancaster and his older brother Mike have planned for years. It’s Clay’s dream to find his ex-rodeo-star uncle, who quit the tour and disappeared somewhere in the vast and colorful Monument Valley. But Mike - heartbroken and unfocused after losing his girlfriend - soon heads for home. Clay, however, will not give up. He finds a job in a remote trading post, and follows a lead on his uncle’s whereabouts that takes him deep into Navajo country.

Of especially naughty children, it is sometimes said: “They must have been raised by wolves.” The Incorrigible children actually were. Discovered in the forests of Ashton Place, the Incorrigibles are no ordinary children: Alexander keeps his siblings in line with gentle nips; Cassiopeia has a bark that is (usually) worse than her bite; and Beowulf is alarmingly adept at chasing squirrels.

Jackie does not like surprises. Chaos is the enemy! The best way to get her successful, busy parents to notice her is to be perfect. The perfect look, the perfect grades—the perfect daughter. And then Jackie's family dies in a freak car accident and she has to move cross-country to live with the Walters—her new guardians. Now Jackie must trade in her Type A personality and New York City apartment for a Colorado ranch and all the wild Walter boys who come with it. How can she fit in and move on when she needs to keep her parents' memory alive by living up to the promise of perfect?

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.

Governments were toppled and rulers were killed during the last attempt to find the lost treasure Amy and Dan Cahill are searching for - do they even stand a chance?

Pollyanna, an expert at her favorite "Glad Game" of always looking at the bright side in her numerous trials, is one of the most popular and enduring characters in all of children's literature.

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up, and down, a range of strange and distressing mountains.

Emily longs to attend Queen's Academy to earn her teaching license, but her tradition-bound relatives at New Moon refuse unless she lives with her disliked Aunt Ruth and gives up writing fiction. Emily reluctantly agrees and is surprised to find that her powers of storytelling continue to develop despite her family's rules. Through a series of adventures, she is furnished with materials to write stories and poems, and she begins to see romantic possibilities bloom.

This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world.