Parenting Humor

What does a megasuccess like Al Franken - best selling author, Emmy-award winning television star, and honorary Ph.D. - have to say to ordinary people like you? Well, as Dr. Al himself says, "There's no point in getting advice from hopeless failures." Filled with wisdom, observations, and practical tips you can put to work right away, this is a cradle-to-grave guide to living, an easy-to-follow user's manual for human existence.

The much-loved Guardian columnist asks what it takes to make a husband, and looks to his own married life to provide the answer. Anything resembling advice should be taken at listener's own risk. You'll never get divorced if you never get married. Not even your granny minds if you live in sin anymore. And if you're single you can choose curtains without somebody else butting in. So why bother with marriage? It can't just be an easy way round having to buy your own deodorant.

A smart, funny, and essential survival guide that you didn't know you needed. But you do. As any current or former 20-something knows, adult life can get a bit weird because no one tells you what to expect. Many of us spend a decade or more figuring out how the world works, hoping that by age 30 our friends are too old to remember what happened. Unfortunately, Andy Boyle does not have it all figured out. But the funny and useful advice and observations in this engaging audiobook will help any newly minted adult get through the hard parts.

John Updike's 21st novel, a bildungsroman, follows its hero, Owen Mackenzie, from his birth in the semi-rural Pennsylvania town of Willow to his retirement in the rather geriatric community of Haskells Crossing, Massachusetts. In between these two settlements comes Middle Falls, Connecticut, where Owen, an early computer programmer, founds with a partner, Ed Mervine, the successful firm of E-O Data, which is housed in an old gun factory on the Chunkaunkabaug River.

It’s almost Mummy’s 50th birthday. The hot flushes have just started, and nowadays she barely recognises herself. She’s been a wife and mother for so long that she can’t quite remember what life was like pre-moppets (although they’re more like giants now). Speaking of, Jane is constantly partying and naturally more interested in passing her driving test than her A-Levels. In fact, trying to get the kids through their exams at all is almost as excruciating as waiting for their results.

Since the dawn of history man has searched for the answer to the most fundamental of questions: “Why am I here... not banging chicks?” The search is over. Now, with the help of The Playbook, you’ll be able to approach any beautiful woman, discover her innermost passion, and use that to trick her into sleeping with you. You’ll master more than 75 seduction techniques, developed by pickup guru and all-around good guy Barney Stinson, guaranteed to turn you into a bona fide ladies’ man.

In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What’s the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child’s nap? Fortunately, there’s now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more. Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell tackles over 90 survival challenges ordinary parents may encounter in everyday life.

Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts.

Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process - with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!

This lighthearted month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife - the main role of expectant dads - will handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor, what to buy, how many and when, maintaining work-life balance, and maintaining work-life-wife balance.

Known for her sharp, witty and surreal view on everyday life, Lucy shares the unpredictable craziness of being a mum in this brilliant and laugh-out-loud 'mumoir'. Mums everywhere will recognise the madness of it all. Like when Lucy was hospitalised during her third trimester with chest pains but it turned out to be a burrito. Or when she was so tired at the park she forgot her own child's name.

Why Mummy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mummy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane. It’s every parents’ nightmare - the start of the school holidays - and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports camps, child minder slots, not to mention time off work, Mummy is exhausted. But this is only the beginning....

Alyssa Mastromonaco is back with a bold, no-nonsense, and no-holds-barred 21st-century girl's guide to life, tackling the highs and lows of bodies, politics, relationships, moms, education, life on the internet, and pop culture. Whether discussing Barbra Streisand or The Bachelor, working in the West Wing or working on finding a wing woman, Alyssa leaves no stone unturned...and no awkward situation unexamined.

Feeling the weight of mom guilt? Feeling all alone in this stay-at-home-mom life? Well, you’re not! I can't be the only one that constantly loses my phone while holding it, or make out my grocery and errand list just to leave it behind on the counter. I feel like I am constantly being pulled in thousands of different directions and lost the entire time. If you think this is just another audiobook on “how to parent” you are wrong. This audiobook is about how I am barely surviving life as a stay-at-home mom.

Based on the column of the same name that appeared in The Toast, Hey Ladies! is a laugh-out-loud listen that follows a fictitious group of eight 20- and-30-something female friends for one year of holidays, summer house rentals, dates, brunches, breakups, and, of course, the planning of a disastrous wedding. This instantly relatable story is told entirely through emails, texts, DMs, and every other form of communication known to man.

This book has helped land Nickelodeon series regular roles, and helped performers appear on NBC’s America’s Got Talent, Comedy Central, Showtime, comedy festivals and clubs across the country, and to being featured on SiriusXM! The techniques in this book have been used with comedians from ages 8 to 80, and can help you find your comedic voice! Throughout this book, you will uncover the unique characteristics about yourself that are funny. Further, you will build extraordinary self-confidence through this art form. You'll find not only your funny but yourself.

Ce livre audio est LE guide pour toutes les femmes imparfaites (c'est-à-dire grosso-modo pour toutes les femmes*). Vous y apprendrez notamment comment garder votre dignité quand vous êtes complètement bourrée, qui sont ces filles qui ne mangent qu'une salade par jour, les questions qu'il ne faut pas poser à un homme si vous ne voulez pas entendre la réponse, ou ce qu'il faut faire de toute urgence si votre mec veut s'acheter des Crocs.* Il peut également être lu par les hommes qui n'ont pas peur de découvrir ce que les filles se racontent entre elles dès qu'ils ont le dos tourné.

Mary Katherine Backstrom spends her days mending booboos, conquering the boogie man, comforting heartaches, laughing at knock-knock jokes, cooking pancakes, throwing baseballs, and mopping muddy floors. In other words she spends her days relishing in the beautiful, constant noise that is a life with children. In Mom Babble, Mary Katherine (MK) Backstrom, founder and personality behind the Mom Babble online community, offers up hope, humor, and spiritual inspiration to families in the trenches of parenthood.

What happens when a trio of overworked and underappreciated good moms get pushed beyond their limits? They turn "bad" - ditch the kids, the housework, and their clueless partners with hilarious and heartwarming results. Based on the popular movies, Bad Moms: The Novel gives fans a new way to enjoy their favorite characters, Amy, Carla, and Kiki, as they smash the Perfect Mom pedestal, take on the grown-up Queen Bees, forge deeper bonds with their kids, get some long overdue respect and recognition, and indulge in a few hours of some crazy fun.

After his breakout hit book, I'm Sorry...Love, Your Husband, Clint Edwards has more laugh-out-loud tales, this time from the "terrible twos" and "threenager" phases each of his kids went through. His relatable toddler stories leave parents and caregivers cackling, and remind us all that no one is the perfect parent. In fact, sometimes the only thing that gets Clint through the day is thinking about when his kids grow up...and all the ways he can finally exact his revenge.