Parenting Humor

Was it entirely my fault that all my brothers, friends, and former girlfriends all married 20 years before me? I walked around believing I had bad breath, a runny nose, a creepy appearance, or was born undeserving. So, I fixed all those things, and still women deceived me or were murdered. Finally, I confirmed that my life was constantly re-directed through divine intervention. I even found proof, but why was the divinity favoring me with so much personalized torment? And how would I explain it to people who thought I was weird?

Are you single, dating, and frustrated? Do you find difficulty in understanding the opposite sex? Well, ponder no more! Learn the what, when, why and how’s of dating in just minutes. In this self-proclaimed dating guide, Black Mermaid expressively addresses both men and women, giving each their own section to draw from while offering a bonus section applicable to both genders. Each short section tackles specific gender driven issues and the dos and don’ts of dating.

Dumb is not a word usually affiliated with Ivy Wright. Accomplished, successful and inspirational are usually more common. So focused on success in her career, Wright misses that her love life is actually only a sex life. Her relationships begin with passion and romance and change to drama and pain long before she makes her way out of them. As she creeps past her 30s she realizes she has a problem and seeks help from "The Husband Whisperer." Wright tracks her bad decision making back to emotional damage from her childhood and her first godforsaken exploration of sex.

Coach Randy is working mightily to keep it together, and not simply with his vaguely unhappy wife, distant child, and a new boss who's eliminating half the sales force. This season's soccer parents are a demanding bunch. Diane's wine-fueled group emails are almost unintelligible; team mom Jacqui's enthusiasm for the league verges on manic; a divorced couple can barely conceal their murderous rage at each other; and another mom is laser-focused on schooling everyone on what constitutes a healthy snack option.

Language is the most beautiful gift, the most heavenly tool accessible to mankind. Let us not make of it a mockery. My opposition to the entries within as “things people shouldn’t say” is born of respect for our language. It is not for the prevention of harm or any other great evil, if there be any. It is merely for the sake that we can express ourselves better. Let us fill this capacity. Let us meet this destiny. Let us talk good.

Adam cannot understand Eve - her penchant for naming everything in the garden irks him, as does her boundless curiosity, but he learns, in time, that he cannot live happily without her. And Eve finds that she loves Adam above all things.

After my marriage ended, I took some time off to regroup and have some "Jill Time". Then after three years, I woke up one morning and said to the universe, "I want to be in love again. Bring it on!" Well, all hell broke loose, and it started raining men. This is the story of my weird, perilous, and often hilarious world of dating.

This humorous book pokes fun at the two main obessions that people have: the pursuit of love and the pursuit of money. The main characters consistently confuse the two, or use one to obtain the other.

Bringing the question of whether or not children are mature enough to have their own smart devices, this downward spiral of a spoiled kid gone rotten will show the consequences of giving a child gifts for which they’re not ready. From accidentally flushing the phone down the toilet to crying for the next gadget update, parents will learn that if you give a kid a smart phone, you’ll only cause trouble.

One afternoon in Atlanta, Georgia. Two people heading to the altar. One hundred fifty guests. The bride, Elizabeth Gottlieb, proud graduate of the University of Virginia and of Emory University School of Law, member of Atlanta's wealthy Jewish elite. The groom, Hank Jackson, not a member. Not a Jew. The couple of the hour, however, is beside the point, because We Are Gathered belongs to the guests.

Honey Badger is angry because Honey Badger is hungry. In The Very Hungry Honey Badger, you’ll witness the angriest mammal in the animal kingdom get into several fights as he searches for food. From scaring off buffalo to battling cobras, Honey Badger will show you he does not mess around when his stomach’s grumbling. Someone get him food, pronto!

One evening, over-indulged Holly decided to demonstrate her artistic talents on the newly-decorated walls of her parents' dream home. In this made-for-parents satirical tale, our 21st-century imaginative child Holly creates a messy masterpiece only an unemployed painter could love. Will her new age parents finally give in and punish her? Will they take away the marker for a day? Or will they go the route of Harold and the Purple Crayon, and simply let her imagination ruin their walls?

Do you accidentally get turned on while watching a nature documentary? Are you dating someone whose tattoos are the worst, but you're having the best sex of your life? Are you feeling emasculated because your girlfriend has had more one-night stands than you? Never fear: the world's first mother-son sex and relationships advice duo is here to save you from yourself.

Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960's that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. His new book gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prison - to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

This is a short guide pertaining to dating online. It contains tips and advice.

Men. It's pretty difficult to think of what use they could be put to. It's plain to see that they need assistance getting dressed and appear to be incapable of discerning the purpose of a toilet seat. From the fairer sex then comes this perfectly-formed little number with all the reasons why men are crap!

Clyde Edgerton has four kids ranging in age from 6 to 31 years old. After three decades of fatherhood, there are certain things he has learned during his tenure. His way of raising his children involves, of course, lots of humor (don't curse near a mimicking child), but also the sound advice of a lifelong educator (you can't start reading to a baby too early). With Papadaddy's Book for New Fathers, a great storyteller gives wise counsel to new parents - both fathers and mothers, young and old alike.

A routine trip to the store creates a golden opportunity for a loving father to bestow a terrific Christmas memory on his three-year-old daughter. Filled with humor and love, this story will have you laughing and turning the pages to see if the stranger with the red shirt and white beard is.... Santa Maybe?

This is the opposite of a self-help book. With this system, you admit that you're not OK and that you're doomed to a life of mediocrity and failure. This is much easier and safer than trying to improve yourself!

Full of tips to boost your confidence with the opposite sex, no single bloke should enter a bar without this package tucked in his trousers.