Satire Science

When the aliens came down and told us they’d enslave all of the human race if we didn’t send our bigliest warrior to participate in their arena death games, I laughed at them. It was really funny because they obviously didn’t know who they were dealing with. Know what I mean? Then they said they would pick the greatest warrior, and they picked Marc Havak. He seemed like such an average guy, but he was a true-blue American. He even worked as a truck driver! That’s the kind of good guy we want defending us from aliens.

Beijing, sometime in the near future: a month has gone missing from official records. No one has any memory of it, and no one could care less - except for a small circle of friends, who will stop at nothing to get to the bottom of the sinister cheerfulness and amnesia that have possessed the Chinese nation. When they kidnap a high-ranking official and force him to reveal all, what they learn - not only about their leaders, but also about their own people - stuns them to the core.

Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters: Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker. Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire. No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better....

The new book by the best-selling authors of Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar is a hilarious take on the philosophy, theology, and psychology of mortality and immortality. That is, Death. The authors pry open the coffin lid on this one, looking at the Big D and also its prequel, Life, and its sequel, the Hereafter.

In this biting satire, the Cold War may have ended, but the eastern and western governments never told their citizens. Instead they created an elaborate ruse wherein each side comes up with increasingly outlandish doomsday weapons - weapons that don’t work. But when aliens invade, the top designers of both sides have to come together to make a real doomsday device - if they don’t kill each other first. With its combination of romance, espionage, and alien invasion, The Zap Gun skewers the military-industrial complex in a way that’s as relevant today as it was at the height of the Cold War.

Set in the time of Charlemagne and narrated by a nun with her own secrets to keep, The Nonexistent Knight tells the story of Agilulf, a gleaming white suit of armor with nothing inside it. A challenge to his honor sends Agilulf on a search through France, England, and North Africa to confirm the chastity of a virgin he saved from rape years earlier.

This panoramic fictional oral history begins with one small mystery: the body of a young woman found in an Arizona border town, presumed to be an illegal immigrant, disappears from the town morgue. Soon, the US government - and eventually biomedical researchers, disgruntled lawmakers, and even an insurgent faction of the Catholic Church - must come to terms with what they're too late to stop: an epidemic of vampirism that will sweep first the United States, and then the world. With heightened strength and beauty and a steady diet of fresh blood, these changed people, or "Gloamings", rapidly rise to prominence in all aspects of modern society.

As time runs down for the players trapped by the evil Lich-Lord in the hyper-realistic MMORPG Fantasy Realms Online, Kromgorn the Barbarian is still stuck playing as the gorgeous, pleasure-fueled Lacey the Courtesan, a character designed to level fastest when she’s getting busy with every NPC in sight. The action is hot, the stakes are high, and Lacey will need to pull out every skill she can muster if she wants to win the day.

Dining alone in an elegant Parisian brasserie, accountant Daniel Mercier can hardly believe his eyes when President François Mitterrand sits down to eat at the table next to him. After the presidential party has gone, Daniel discovers that Mitterrand’s black felt hat has been left behind. After a few moments’ soul-searching, Daniel decides to keep the hat as a souvenir of an extraordinary evening. It’s a perfect fit, and as he leaves the restaurant Daniel begins to feel somehow...different.

It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday. But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight, he is tapped by the president for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it. The problem is - Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.

From short, fat, bald John Adams' wig-throwing tantrums during the 1800 election to Abraham Lincoln's decision to grow a beard in 1860; from John F. Kennedy's choice to forgo the fedora at his inauguration to John Kerry's decision to get Botoxed for the 2004 race; from the Golden Age of Facial Hair (1860-1912) to the Age of the Banker (1912-1960); from Washington's false teeth to George W. Bush's workout regimen, Project President tells the story of America's love affair with presidential looks and appearance.

Pix just wants to hunt monsters, craft armor, and pay off her college loans. Her partner Jaz does too. She just wants to pet the monsters more. While wearing impractical hot pants armor. And wielding a sword so massive she needs magic gems to carry it.

Pussy is the story of Prince Fracassus, heir presumptive to the Duchy of Origen, famed for its golden-gated skyscrapers and casinos, who passes his boyhood watching reality shows on TV, imagining himself to be the Roman Emperor Nero, and fantasizing about hookers.

He is idle, boastful, thin skinned and egotistic. He has no manners, no curiosity, no knowledge, no idea and no words with which to express them. Could he, in that case, be the very leader to make the country great again?

Mr. Goldson is filthy rich. He’s also callous and cruel and hasn’t got a festive bone in his ancient body. Naturally, he’s due for a holiday haunting. When his business partner, Bolbi Baggs, announces that they’re to be visited by three spirits, Mr. Goldson braces himself for a whirlwind tour of his past, present, and future. Mr. Goldson, however, isn’t human. He’s a Dwarf, and Mr. Baggs is a Halfling, and the adventure that’s about to take them across the enchanted world of Arth is anything but typical.

When drama teacher Paul Samson decides to put on a high school production of Macbeth, he forgets that it isn't just the Scottish play, it is the cursed play. And Paul soon learns just how cursed. After grappling with his principal, the PTA, his family, and his students, he must contend with witches, ghosts, and skeletons from his past. The show is destined from the outset to end badly, but no matter what, Paul cannot cancel the play. Theater has but one rule: The show must go on.

In "The Robot Who Looked Like Me," a busy man and a busy woman find a way to carve out time to romance each other—by having look-alike robots made to do the job—who then run away together.

The United States has survived clueless presidential administrations before. But no matter how enormous the crisis, the Great Depression, Vietnam, Watergate, or Monica Lewinsky's thong, America always comes out looking like, well, America.

Following the success of New York Times best sellers Dumpty and Trumpty Dumpty Wanted a Crown, award-winning actor, author, and illustrator John Lithgow presents the third book in his runaway hit series. A Confederacy of Dumptys takes us through a history of 25 "American Scoundrels" in this all-new collection of Lithgow's satirical poems. While the Trump Era was rife with corruption and abuse of power, it was nothing new. Through Lithgow's cutting humor, you will hear about a rogues' gallery of villains that came before Donald J. Trump.

Das Europaparlament – eine hervorragende Idee. Nur in der Realität leider ein Witz, und noch dazu ein sehr schlechter. Nico Semsrott berichtet ehrlich und komisch von seinen Erfahrungen aus fünf Jahren Europaparlament. Von der sinnlosen Pendelei zwischen Brüssel und Straßburg, in der schon alles steckt, was das Parlament im Kern ausmacht: Steuerverschwendung, Tragik und grober Unfug. Von gierigen Parlamentariern, die keines ihrer unsinnigen Privilegien ungenutzt lassen und sich ständig in die eigene Tasche wirtschaften.

The undead have risen from their graves, and society hangs by a thread. But America's political parties aren't going to let a little thing like the zombie apocalypse get in the way of a presidential election. There are nasty whispers about the incumbent, though, and they have nothing to do with where he was born.