Social Conflict

From time to time all of us have social conflicts. Sometimes we are invited to dance with people who have more external power than us, for example, a supervisor or an elder sibling or parent. Sometimes we might be invited to struggle with someone we don’t care so much about; like a stranger or acquaintance or a distant in-law. In either case the choice to engage or abstain is ours. If we engage, it is important to do our best to leave our dance partner some dignity and show some respect.

Why has war been such a consistent presence throughout the human past? A leading historian explains, drawing on rich examples and keen insight. Richard Overy is not the first scholar to take up the title question. In 1931, at the request of the League of Nations, Albert Einstein asked Sigmund Freud to collaborate on a short work examining whether there was "a way of delivering mankind from the menace of war." Published the next year as a pamphlet entitled Why War?, it conveyed Freud's conclusion that the "death drive" made any deliverance impossible.

Why do we fight most with those we love best? Australian relationship therapist Lissy Abrahams has spent years exploring this question, both in her treatment room helping clients and through extensive research. She knows that long-term conflict leaves us drained, anxious and worried for the emotional wellbeing of our families, but says it is neither intractable or inevitable. Conflict is caused by unconscious patterns of thinking and behaviour - unresolved feelings of fear, instability or pain - that can be consciously rewired for a healthier, happier relationship.

Why is it so hard to change problem behavior - in our kids, our colleagues, and even ourselves? Conventional methods often backfire, creating a downward spiral of resentment and frustration, and a missed opportunity for growth. What if the thinking behind these old methods is wrong? What if people don’t misbehave because they want to, but because they lack the skills to do better? Or as renowned psychologist J. Stuart Ablon asks, what if changing problem behavior is a matter of skill, not will?

In our default state, our brains constantly get in the way of effective communication. They are lazy, angry, immature, and distracted. They can make a difficult conversation impossible. But Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Waldman have discovered a powerful strategy called Compassionate Communication that allows two brains to work together as one.

This classic work on the rules of sex - updated for a new generation - is still as provocative as the day it was published, providing simple explanations for any and all questions about what happens in the bedroom.

Tsultrim Allione brings an 11th-century Tibetan woman's practice to the West for the first time with Feeding Your Demons, an accessible and effective approach for dealing with negative emotions, fears, illness, and self-defeating patterns. Allione - one of only a few female Buddhist leaders in this country and comparable in American religious life to Pema Chodron - bridges this ancient Eastern practice with today's Western psyche. She explains that if we fight our demons, they only grow stronger. But if we feed them, nurture them, we can free ourselves from the battle.

The desire for dignity is universal and powerful. It is a motivating force behind all human interaction - in families, in communities, in the business world, and in relationships at the international level. When dignity is violated, the response is likely to involve aggression, even violence, hatred, and vengeance. On the other hand, when people treat one another with dignity, they become more connected and are able to create more meaningful relationships.

We either seize the opportunity or lose the chance to be great. We can spend all our lives preparing to be winners, working so hard for the glory of success in our careers, relationships, professional and personal lives, but often fear, anxiety and self-sabotages get in the way. Here is the good news! There are powerful ways to combat all that and everything else standing in the way of your goals. Gerard Shaw, a communication coach and creator of this powerful series, explores the science of success of people who discovered the secrets of winning through effective communication.

This is not soft-on-crime, feel-good philosophy, but rather a concrete effort to bring justice and healing to everyone involved in a crime. In The Little Book of Restorative Justice, Howard Zehr, the father of restorative justice and is known worldwide for his pioneering work in transforming understandings of justice, first explores how restorative justice is different from criminal justice. Then, before letting those appealing observations drift out of reach into theoretical space, Zehr presents restorative justice practices.

You hear about Israel in the news regularly, but beyond the many opinions and preconceptions, do you really know what to make of the conflicts and controversies in the Middle East? What Should We Think About Israel? exposes the main current issues and provides well-researched objective facts to help you learn the truth about Israel's past, present, and future. This compilation from experts including Walter Kaiser, Jr., David Brickner, Mitch Glaser, Michael Brown, Arnold Fructenbaum, and Steven Ger will help you answer the tough questions.

Learn how to communicate with compassion and choose language that reflects your personal values and aims with this essential guide to Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Judith Hanson Lasater and Ike Lasater, longtime students of yoga and Buddhism, had studied the concepts of satya (truth) and the Buddhist principle of right speech for years, but it was not until they began practicing Marshall Rosenberg’s techniques of NVC that the concept of speech as a spiritual practice became real for them.

How do you respond to anger - in yourself or others? Do you fight fire with fire, or run for cover? Dr. Christian Conte created Yield Theory™ as a way to meet conflict without aggression or submissiveness through the practice of compassionate listening, de-escalation, and genuine communication. With Walking Through Anger, he shares this revolutionary model for dealing with inflamed emotions in even the most difficult and charged situations.

Harvard professor (and negotiation advisor to organizations around the world) Deepak Malhotra shows how to defuse even the most potentially explosive situations and to find success when things seem impossible. Malhotra illustrates key lessons using behind-the-scenes stories of fascinating real-life negotiations, including drafting the US Constitution, resolving the Cuban Missile Crisis, ending bitter disputes in the NFL and NHL, and beating the odds in complex business situations.

Why do more than half of all marriages end in divorce? And why is there so much unhappiness in the marriages that survive? Greg Baer offers the solutions for a long-lasting marriage in his anticipated follow-up to Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships. No matter how many wounds have been inflicted in a marriage, Greg Baer believes that they can be healed, giving both partners the sense of fulfillment and joy they’ve always wanted.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb that states, "Two tigers cannot share the same mountain." However, in East Asia, there are three tigers on that mountain: China, Japan, and Korea, and they have a long history of turmoil and tension with each other. In his latest entertaining and thought-provoking narrative travelogue, Michael Booth sets out to discover how deep, really, the enmity is between these three "tiger" nations and what prevents them from making peace.

This book is not just another communication book and is not just a book of tips. This is the ultimate communication system for talking to anybody, anywhere, and in any situation. Using scientific principles of communication and ©POWER2MIND technology, it will have you talking and communicating to anyone with confidence, charm, and conviction. This will massively transform all areas of your life, in ways that you may only have dreamed of.

The first half of the book will teach you what you need to say to get what you want. You will also learn how to respond to your spouse when he or she is frustrated, disappointed, or hurt. The last chapter will teach you how to combine all the skills in the book to resolve issue in your relationship for good. And every step of the way will bring you and your spouse closer together. You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness, and I'm going to show you how.

In order to transform our world, we must unite behind a new kind of civility. In a world that is more divided than ever, it will take a radical act to transform our discourse, our lives, and our world. International civility consultant and keynote speaker Shola Richards believes that unifying our world around the power of civility is that radical act, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Do we want a safer world to live in? Do we want less toxicity in our politics? Do we want a world free of hate and discrimination? Do we want to work in organizations that allow us to do our best work?

The defense of human rights is often marked by ethical dilemmas, which are especially acute in Israel, where lawyers have for decades sought redress for the abuse of Palestinian rights in the country's High Court - that is, in the court of the abuser. In The Wall and the Gate, Michael Sfard chronicles this struggle - a story that has never before been fully told - and in the process engages the core principles of human rights legal ethics.