Space Opera Comedy

When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft-inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets, especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb That Controls Everything and Must Be Respected.

After a chance meeting between a fierce warrior and a conscientious objector from opposite sides of a galactic conflict, the two rival spaceship pilots conclude that war is as pointless as arguing with an Orthodox Tautologist. Together they form the Pacifists, a "militant anti-war group" consisting of a perpetual teenager whose species was created in a botched attempt to overcome the aging process; a big rig pilot and former orbital race champion; and a pair of prankster twin brothers.

The human race faces extinction and the U.S.E. (United States of Earth) Marshals Service’s best must travel back in time to try to stop it. But first, there’s the little matter of inventing time travel. The pre-eminent scientist who’s been working on the tachyonic anti-telephone—the machine that will allow DNA and connectome data to be transported through time—needs to be escorted. Unfortunately, most top UMS agents are being killed in battle against the rising Capolian Empire, leaving Bob-3831, a lowly agent being punished for gross incompetence, to take on the task.

Marsh Wethers was once a legendary law enforcer in the solar system of Remus 7. Now, he is a space hunter, a professional tracker paid to find the criminals the authorities cannot. One thing he has not been able to find, however, is the truth about a terrible crime from his past. When Marsh comes across an unlikely key that can unlock the answers to the events that have plagued him, he knows he will have to go beyond the law.

The United Earth Fleet has established its home base on the terraformed island of Kauai, where humankind is starting over. But when an act of sabotage threatens their existence, Captain Bartholomew Quasar and his intrepid crew must return to space to hunt down the saboteur. Unbeknownst to them, rifts have opened between parallel worlds, and our heroes are flung into a dangerous reality where they encounter alternate versions of themselves as well as new friends and foes along the way.

The prisoner. Mona Lisa O'Neil has a problem. She's in prison for crimes committed against the people with her gangster boyfriend. When she turned evidence against him, he tried to have her killed. Twice. Now he's threatening to blow up the Dipole Shield and kill 50 million people on Mars, unless they turn her over to him.