Teen Adult

Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

I knew being the only Norm at Gifted Academy would be hard and dangerous, but I didn't expect to be tossed out of a window. Also didn't expect to be saved by one of the Magnificent Four. Bryce brought me back from the brink of death, but he did more than heal my broken bones. He weakened my defenses and carved a place in my heart. He's not the only one vying for my attention. Rufio, Phoenix, and Morpheus have all changed their attitudes toward me, and recklessly, I want to know where it will lead.

Au retour des vacances des fêtes, un nouveau défi attend Émy-Lee et Nadeige. Ce défi qui les mettra en compétition fera appel à leur bravoure, à leur créativité et à leur sang-froid. Malheureusement, il pourrait bien avoir des conséquences désastreuses et les éloigner de leur objectif premier: être enfin réunies!

Maeve Merritt chafes at the rigid rules at her London boarding school for “Upright Young Ladies.” When punishment forces her to sort through the trash, she finds a sardine tin that houses a foul-tempered djinni with no intention of submitting to a schoolgirl as his master. Soon an orphan boy from the charitable home next door, a mysterious tall man in ginger whiskers, a disgruntled school worker, and a take-no-prisoners business tycoon are in hot pursuit of Maeve and her magical discovery.

Feyre’s first Winter Solstice as High Lady is drawing near. With it will come a hard-earned rest from the work that she, Rhysand and their friends have done to rebuild the Night Court and the vastly changed world beyond. Yet the festive atmosphere can’t keep shadows from looming.

Rien ne va plus pour Nadeige et Émy-Lee. À peine revenues de leur croisière dans les Caraïbes, celles-ci ont peine à se remettre de leurs émotions. Dévastée par sa rupture avec le beau Maxime-Alexandre, Émy-Lee poursuit tant bien que mal son année au collège. Non seulement elle a le coeur brisé, mais la distance qui la sépare de sa BFF lui rend cette épreuve quasiment impossible à surmonter.

Avi’s swashbuckling tale of murder and mutiny on the high seas has a fascinating twist: the heroine is a 13-year-old girl. In 1832, Charlotte Doyle boards a ship bound for America and is caught in a battle between a mad captain and his ruthless crew. If you’re looking for an action-packed adventure story for girls, you’ll find it in The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle.

Moi (en changeant mes sacs d’épicerie de main, car je commençais à avoir mal aux paumes): P’pa.... Tu vas y retourner quand, chez le concessionnaire, pour choisir une autre auto? Moi (en roulant les épaules, vu la lourdeur des sacs): Papa! Je te parle! Mon père (en réagissant enfin): Oui, je t’entends! Mais je n’ai...je n’ai pas prévu y retourner. Pas pour le moment, en tout cas.

Sixteen-year-old Juliette Cardini has been keeping a secret for months. Before she went to her semester abroad in Paris, she dated her best friend's older brother, Easton Stevens. What had started as a whirlwind romance filled with forbidden meetings came to a crashing halt when they crossed a line together from which neither of them could return. Now, she's back in Ridgewater and has to face everyone she left behind. But there's one more secret she is afraid for anyone to discover: She's pregnant - and Easton is the father.

Je pense qu’il voudrait qu’on soit officiellement un couple, mais… je ne suis pas prête pour sa. Je viens à peine de sortir d’une relation super longue avec Colin.

Colin : Alors...vous vous êtes embrassés ? C’est fait ? Tu sors avec Lancelot ? Moi : Hein ? L’embrasser ? Colin : Je veux dire...c’est évident que ça allait se passer, vu la façon dont il te regarde. Moi : Ah ouin ? La façon dont il me regarde ? Colin : Allez, ne fais pas semblant que tu n’as rien vu ! En plus, il rit à toutes tes blagues, même si elles sont plates ! C’est un signe, ça....

I have never been at such a low. School work? Stuff it. Manners? Get screwed. Being a decent human being? Over my dead body. And it's all because of him. Nate was supposed to be the reason I wake up in the morning, until he took that reason away. Now, I'm left feeling like an empty shell of the girl I used to be. He's the love of my life. Always has been and always will be. I don't doubt it, he's going to come running back, and when he does, you better believe it, I'm going to make him work for it. Right down to the bone. Thank God I have my girls and Jesse. Without them, I'd be lost.

Born under a hunter's moon, abandoned as a child, I was raised to be a powerful sorceress - okay, a mediocre sorceress. All right, I'm good at glamour and can make things sparkle, if my spells don't backfire. It was foretold long ago that I was a child of prophecy that would unite the fae and humans of Candor. The only problem, no one told me, and now the king wants me dead. For I am Eden, one of the adoptive daughters of Lady Eville, and I have to attend the royal masquerade ball - not to win a prince, but to avenge my parents. Even if it means pretending to be a fairy godmother....

What is it like for a small flap-eared goblin herbalist to play the role of the Dark Sovereign, the main antagonist for Boundless Realm's hundreds of millions of players? What is it like to find one's self the standard bearer for an army of man-eating giants, cyclops, skeletons, ghosts, and other hellspawn, who don't give a damn about their modest little ruler? Our hero didn't desire such an unenviable fate, but there is no way back now. But the longer he plays, the better he understands that he is just a pawn in someone else's game.

After the successful but disastrous raid on Mount Weather, Daemon's facing the impossible. Katy is gone. Taken. Everything becomes about finding her. Taking out anyone who stands in his way? Done. Burning down the whole world to save her? Gladly. Exposing his alien race to the world? With pleasure. Surrounded by enemies, the only way Katy can come out of this is to adapt. After all, there are sides of Daedalus that don't seem entirely crazy, but the group's goals are frightening...

Stolen from his home, Corthie Holdfast has arrived in the City of the Eternal Siege as a new champion. He must fight alongside the Blades, whose lives are dedicated to the defense of the city against the hordes of monstrous Greenhides; or die at the hands of the Gods who rule. Maddie Jackdaw, a young Blade, faces her last chance. Thrown out of every unit defending the city, either she takes on a new role, or she will be sent to the Rats, a company of misfits given the perilous tasks beyond the Great Walls.

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

Told in dual timelines - half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward - We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy's name) and Kat are inseparable, but by graduation, they're no longer friends. James prepares to head off to college as she reflects on the dissolution of her friendship with Kat while, in alternating chapters, Kat thinks about being newly in love with her first girlfriend and having a future that feels wide open.

Emile : Tu ris de mes jokes plates, tu me regardes quand tu penses que je m’en rends pas compte, tu demandes toujours aux autres où je suis… Moi : Comment tu sais que… Emile (en me coupant la parole) : Parce que moi aussi, je fais pareil. Moi aussi, je te surveille, je t’observe pis je te cherche des yeux quand j’arrive dans une pièce. Moi aussi je pense à toi dès que je me lève et je rêve de toi quand je me couche. Moi aussi je m’inquiète de savoir comment tu vas, je m’assure que tu es correcte et je me retire quand t’as besoin d’espace et d’air.

Moi : En tout cas, tu vas être content, puisque je m’en vais dans deux jours ! Tu me verras plus et je serai plus là pour me mêler de tes affaires ! Colin : Génial ! Moi : Super ! Il est allé s’enfermer dans sa chambre en claquant la porte et moi...moi, je suis restée là, les bras ballants, sans savoir quoi faire. Je n’avais pas d’endroit où aller pour me calmer et pour reprendre mes esprits. Ou pour pleurer....