Teen Art

Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

Here is everything you need to know about the crucial first months of your puppy's life, from monks who have been breeding, raising, and training German Shepherds for more than 25 years. Their extraordinary grasp of every facet of puppy behavior has gained them worldwide attention.

Turns out almost getting murdered and finding out you're part of a thought-to-be-extinct bloodline makes people notice you. Between a forbidden romance with my Arcane History prof, an accidental familiar bond with two shifters, and what I suspect about the Magistrate, hiding the truth is becoming impossible. As if I also need to be tormented by the ghosts of my insane ancestors . . . thanks, universe. Meanwhile, Cal and Adrian try to solve a mystery of their own: shifters from other packs are going missing, and all the evidence points to witches. But then they vanish, too.

I messed up. I broke two of the Arcane Council's laws in one day. I swear it was an accident - but try telling that to the Arcane authorities. Before I could catch my breath, my simple gypsy life of peddling potions with my guardians is wrenched away. I'm forcibly enrolled into the prestigious and supremely snotty Arcane Arts Academy, given shackles under the guise of mercy for my crimes.

Administrator's defeat has come at a heavy cost: The death of Eugeo as well as the mental decline of Kirito. Six months after the epic battle atop Central Cathedral, Kirito spends his days in the Underworld wheelchair-bound; bereft of emotion or even a will to live. Although Alice and Bercouli do what they can to help him, it isn't long before the armies of the dark territory are start to move in earnest. The "Final Stress Test" has begun. But will Kirito be ready?

Two years into Kirito and Eugeo's quest to reach the Central Cathedral, the pair have finally become elite disciples at the North Centoria Imperial Swordcraft Academy. Now all that's left to do is train for the next tournament, build their relationships with their trainee pages, and do so without violating the Taboo Index. But just because this peaceful world is governed by law and order doesn't mean evil can't fester below the surface...and when it comes time to choose between the rules and what's right, Kirito and Eugeo discover the darker secrets of the Underworld.

David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he's gay. The school bully thinks he's a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth - David wants to be a girl. On the first day at his new school, Leo Denton has one goal - to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in Year 11 is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms. But things are about to get messy. Because at Eden Park School secrets have a funny habit of not staying secret for long....

Kirito and Sinon's battle with Death Gun is over, but mere weeks later, something strange is afoot in the next-generation VRMMO ALfheim Online. A new duelist with a custom sword skill is defeating all comers—including Kirito! But when Asuna goes to face this duelist, she receives something she never expected: An invitation to an exclusive guild! But what is their aim? The Mother's Rosary arc begins!

In the year 2022, gamers rejoice as Sword Art Online - a VRMMORPG (virtual reality massively multiplayer online role-playing game) like no other - debuts, allowing players to take full advantage of the ultimate in gaming technology: NerveGear, a system that allows users to completely immerse themselves in a wholly realistic gaming experience. But when the game goes live, the elation of the players quickly turns to horror as they discover that, for all its amazing features, SAO is missing one of the most basic functions of any MMORPG - a logout button.

Kirito has escaped Sword Art Online, the forbidden VRMMORPG of death, and returned to reality. He heads off to find his game partner and lover, Asuna Yuuki. But Asuna never made it back from the nightmare.

War looms on the horizon, but Selene’s training as a wizard must begin...even though her age makes success nearly unattainable. Will searches for a solution, but their only hope may be a dangerous bargain with the king. The fate of two nations lies on his shoulders, and the future is paved with violence. With few options, he needs the aid of uncertain allies and dubious friends. Traitors lurk among them, and soon he will be forced to choose who to trust - and who to sacrifice. For a terrible power has arrived in Darrow, and the price of victory will be paid in blood.

Kirito has faced innumerable hardships in the two long years since he first awoke in the Underworld, but his greatest battle yet lies ahead. As they near Administrator's chamber at the top of Central Cathedral, Kirito and Alice confront a heartrendingly familiar foe on the ninety-ninth floor. The final obstacle standing before them is none other than Eugeo...wearing the armor of an Integrity Knight! Can Kirito's cries reach Eugeo in the tortured recesses of his mind? Or will Administrator have the last laugh?!

This manual provides a review of the tactical combat advantages enjoyed by zombies and gives the listener a step-by-step guide to adopting them for him or herself. Have you wondered where the great military leaders of modern history have found their collective inspirations? Well look no further. It is the walking dead upon whom the most important tactical infantry innovations of the last three hundred years have been based.

It’s been hundreds of years since King Arthur’s reign. His descendant, Arthur, a future Lord and general gadabout, has been betrothed to Gwendoline, the quick-witted, short-tempered princess of England, since birth. The only thing they can agree on is that they despise each other. They’re forced to spend the summer together at Camelot in the run up to their nuptials, and within 24 hours, Gwen has discovered Arthur kissing a boy and Arthur has gone digging for Gwen's childhood diary and found confessions about her crush on the kingdom's only lady knight, Bridget Leclair.

The final stress test bleeds into its second day. Driven to desperation by the Integrity Knights’ coordinated assault, the Dark Army reveals the ace up their sleeve! Critter, who has been observing the battle from the Ocean Turtle, has successfully created a gateway into the Underworld and masked it as an invitation to “an open beta test for a new, unannounced VRMMO." This digital invite bolsters the ranks of the Dark Army by the tens of thousands!

Following a mighty clash, Kirito and Eugeo find themselves separated for the last leg of their journey to the top of Central Cathedral. Kirito, forced into an unlikely alliance with Alice the Integrity Knight, continues his climb from the outside, while trying not to fall to his death. At the same time, Eugeo must face off against the Integrity Knight Commander himself, Bercouli Synthesis One! Although the journey is nearing its end, they'll soon learn that the cathedral is still full of surprises.

Linked up and logged into the deadly VMMORPG Sword Art Online in both the real and virtual worlds, Kirito is stuck in a hell of one man's making and, like everyone else, unable to escape until the game is beaten. But while some players are crippled by fear and others throw themselves into completing the game, still others relax into everyday life in the face of their cruel predicament and live to the best of their ability...laughing, crying, but always enjoying the game.

Kiva Meridan, dix-sept ans, a passé les dix dernières années à lutter pour survivre dans la tristement célèbre prison de Zalindov, où elle occupe le poste de guérisseuse. Quand la Reine Rebelle est capturée, Kiva est chargée de la maintenir en vie le temps que celle-ci subisse le Supplice, une série d’épreuves contre les quatre éléments - l’air, le feu, l’eau et la terre -, réservées aux criminels les plus dangereux. C’est alors que Kiva reçoit un message codé de sa famille : Ne la laisse pas mourir.

Notre ancêtre Homo sapiens était nomade. Ses descendants ont vagabondé longtemps sur la planète avant d'habiter un domicile fixe. Pourquoi l'ont-ils fait ? Pourquoi ont-ils ensuite peiné pour faire pousser du blé et finalement domestiquer des bêtes, alors que les céréales sauvages et les animaux de chasse abondaient sur leur territoire ?

How do you rid the Earth of seven billion humans? Rid the humans of their humanity. Surviving the first four waves was nearly impossible. Now Cassie Sullivan finds herself in a new world, a world in which the fundamental trust that binds us together is gone. As the 5th Wave rolls across the landscape, Cassie, Ben, and Ringer are forced to confront the Others' ultimate goal: the extermination of the human race.