Teen Art

Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

I messed up. I broke two of the Arcane Council's laws in one day. I swear it was an accident - but try telling that to the Arcane authorities. Before I could catch my breath, my simple gypsy life of peddling potions with my guardians is wrenched away. I'm forcibly enrolled into the prestigious and supremely snotty Arcane Arts Academy, given shackles under the guise of mercy for my crimes.

Turns out almost getting murdered and finding out you're part of a thought-to-be-extinct bloodline makes people notice you. Between a forbidden romance with my Arcane History prof, an accidental familiar bond with two shifters, and what I suspect about the Magistrate, hiding the truth is becoming impossible. As if I also need to be tormented by the ghosts of my insane ancestors . . . thanks, universe. Meanwhile, Cal and Adrian try to solve a mystery of their own: shifters from other packs are going missing, and all the evidence points to witches. But then they vanish, too.

Two years into Kirito and Eugeo's quest to reach the Central Cathedral, the pair have finally become elite disciples at the North Centoria Imperial Swordcraft Academy. Now all that's left to do is train for the next tournament, build their relationships with their trainee pages, and do so without violating the Taboo Index. But just because this peaceful world is governed by law and order doesn't mean evil can't fester below the surface...and when it comes time to choose between the rules and what's right, Kirito and Eugeo discover the darker secrets of the Underworld.

It’s been hundreds of years since King Arthur’s reign. His descendant, Arthur, a future Lord and general gadabout, has been betrothed to Gwendoline, the quick-witted, short-tempered princess of England, since birth. The only thing they can agree on is that they despise each other. They’re forced to spend the summer together at Camelot in the run up to their nuptials, and within 24 hours, Gwen has discovered Arthur kissing a boy and Arthur has gone digging for Gwen's childhood diary and found confessions about her crush on the kingdom's only lady knight, Bridget Leclair.

Kirito has faced innumerable hardships in the two long years since he first awoke in the Underworld, but his greatest battle yet lies ahead. As they near Administrator's chamber at the top of Central Cathedral, Kirito and Alice confront a heartrendingly familiar foe on the ninety-ninth floor. The final obstacle standing before them is none other than Eugeo...wearing the armor of an Integrity Knight! Can Kirito's cries reach Eugeo in the tortured recesses of his mind? Or will Administrator have the last laugh?!

Here is everything you need to know about the crucial first months of your puppy's life, from monks who have been breeding, raising, and training German Shepherds for more than 25 years. Their extraordinary grasp of every facet of puppy behavior has gained them worldwide attention.

In the year 2022, gamers rejoice as Sword Art Online - a VRMMORPG (virtual reality massively multiplayer online role-playing game) like no other - debuts, allowing players to take full advantage of the ultimate in gaming technology: NerveGear, a system that allows users to completely immerse themselves in a wholly realistic gaming experience. But when the game goes live, the elation of the players quickly turns to horror as they discover that, for all its amazing features, SAO is missing one of the most basic functions of any MMORPG - a logout button.

One of Joseph Campbell’s most popular, most quoted works, A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living is a treasure trove of insight and inspiration, thought-provoking in its depth, poetic in its scope. Drawn from a month-long workshop at the world-famous Esalen Institute, the Joseph Campbell Companion captures Campbell at his best: wise, funny, intelligent, and inspiring.

War looms on the horizon, but Selene’s training as a wizard must begin...even though her age makes success nearly unattainable. Will searches for a solution, but their only hope may be a dangerous bargain with the king. The fate of two nations lies on his shoulders, and the future is paved with violence. With few options, he needs the aid of uncertain allies and dubious friends. Traitors lurk among them, and soon he will be forced to choose who to trust - and who to sacrifice. For a terrible power has arrived in Darrow, and the price of victory will be paid in blood.

Administrator's defeat has come at a heavy cost: The death of Eugeo as well as the mental decline of Kirito. Six months after the epic battle atop Central Cathedral, Kirito spends his days in the Underworld wheelchair-bound; bereft of emotion or even a will to live. Although Alice and Bercouli do what they can to help him, it isn't long before the armies of the dark territory are start to move in earnest. The "Final Stress Test" has begun. But will Kirito be ready?

David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he's gay. The school bully thinks he's a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth - David wants to be a girl. On the first day at his new school, Leo Denton has one goal - to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in Year 11 is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms. But things are about to get messy. Because at Eden Park School secrets have a funny habit of not staying secret for long....

Matt hasn't eaten in days. His stomach stabs and twists inside, pleading for a meal, but Matt won't give in. The hunger clears his mind, keeps him sharp - and he needs to be as sharp as possible if he's going to find out just how Tariq and his band of high school bullies drove his sister, Maya, away. Matt's hardworking mom keeps the kitchen crammed with food, but Matt can resist the siren call of casseroles and cookies because he has discovered something: the less he eats the more he seems to have...powers.

This manual provides a review of the tactical combat advantages enjoyed by zombies and gives the listener a step-by-step guide to adopting them for him or herself. Have you wondered where the great military leaders of modern history have found their collective inspirations? Well look no further. It is the walking dead upon whom the most important tactical infantry innovations of the last three hundred years have been based.

Brienna desires only two things: to master her passion and to be chosen by a patron. Growing up in Valenia at the renowned Magnalia House should have prepared her. While some are born with a talent for one of the five passions - art, music, dramatics, wit, and knowledge - Brienna struggled to find hers until she chose knowledge. However, Brienna's greatest fear comes true - she is left without a patron. But months later, her life takes an unexpected turn when a disgraced lord offers her patronage.

Kirito and Sinon's battle with Death Gun is over, but mere weeks later, something strange is afoot in the next-generation VRMMO ALfheim Online. A new duelist with a custom sword skill is defeating all comers—including Kirito! But when Asuna goes to face this duelist, she receives something she never expected: An invitation to an exclusive guild! But what is their aim? The Mother's Rosary arc begins!

Frances Janvier spends most of her time studying. Everyone knows Aled Last as that quiet boy who gets straight A's. You probably think that they are going to fall in love or something. Since he is a boy and she is a girl. They don't. They make a podcast. In a world determined to shut them up, knock them down, and set them on a cookie-cutter life path, Frances and Aled struggle to find their voices over the course of one life-changing year.

Kirito awakens in a vast, fantastical forest filled with towering trees. In his search for clues to the truth of his surroundings, he encounters a young boy who seems to know him. He ought to be a simple NPC, but the depth of his emotions seem no different than a human. As they search for the boy's parents, Kirito finds a peculiar memory returning to him. A memory from his own childhood, of this boy and a girl, too, with golden hair, and a name he should have never forgotten—Alice.

In the tradition of Out of My Mind, Wonder, and Mockingbird, this is an intensely moving middle grade novel about being an outsider, coping with loss, and discovering the true meaning of family. Willow Chance is a 12-year-old genius, obsessed with nature and diagnosing medical conditions, who finds it comforting to count by sevens. It has never been easy for her to connect with anyone other than her adoptive parents, but that hasn’t kept her from leading a quietly happy life...until now.

Two years after waking up in a mysterious fantasy world, Kirito and his oddly human NPC friend, Eugeo, continue their quest to become Integrity Knights—and find Alice, who disappeared so long ago and yet has somehow lingered in the back of Kirito's mind. Their journey takes them to the Imperial Swordcraft Academy, where they must train to become two of the top twelve seats in the class to have even a hope of seeing Alice again. Meanwhile, as Asuna desperately searches for Kazuto Kirigaya, she stumbles across the deeper secret of his new world.