Teen Humor

Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

Pretty, impecunious Sally Nicholas never dreamed a fortune could prove a disadvantage, until she became an heiress and watched in bewilderment as her orderly existence went haywire. Coping first with her brother's wild theatrical ambitions, then with the defection of her fiancé and his immediate replacement by a much more appropriate but strangely unattractive suitor, Sally finds that life in New York is becoming altogether too complicated, and a trip to England only makes the whole situation worse.

In the humdrum town of Moormouth, Walter Mortinson's unusual inventions cause nothing but trouble. After one of his contraptions throws the town into chaos, Walter's mother demands he cut the nonsense and join the family mortuary business. Far off on Flaster Isle, famed inventor Horace Flasterborn plans to take Walter under his wing. When a letter arrives by unusual means offering Walter an apprenticeship, he and the moody one-eyed girl next door run away and journey through a strange landscape of fish-people, giantess miners, and hypnotized honeybees.

Priya worked hard to pursue her premed dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones”, a virtual support group for chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something out of character: she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the horrifying creature that's shut in the basement.

It's the mid-1990s, and 15-year-old Guernsey schoolgirls Renée and Flo are not really meant to be friends. Thoughtful, introspective and studious Flo couldn't be more different to ambitious, extroverted and sexually curious Renée. But Renée and Flo are united by loneliness and their dysfunctional families, and an intense bond is formed. Although there are obstacles to their friendship (namely Flo's jealous ex-best friend and Renée's growing infatuation with Flo's brother), 15 is an age where anything can happen.

Oscar and his dog have made a pretty good life for themselves, despite the fact that Oscar’s family has all but vanished - his father is dead; his mother has a new boyfriend. His older sister, Rachel, fled five years ago...right after Mr. Cigar bit off her hand. Despite the freak accident, Oscar knows his dog is no menace. Mr. Cigar is a loyal protector: a supernatural creature that can exact revenge, communicate telepathically, and manipulate car doors and windows with ease.

Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward, but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, and battles to be fought. After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would-be tyrants. He wrote an easy-to-follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others.

Tall, meaty, muscle-bound, and hairier than most throw rugs, Dylan doesn't look like your average 15-year-old, so naturally, high school has not been kind to him. To make matters worse, on the day his school bans hats (his preferred camouflage), Dylan goes up on his roof only to fall and wake up in the hospital with a broken leg - and a mandate to attend group therapy for self-harmers. Dylan vows to say nothing and zones out at therapy - until he meets Jamie. She's funny, smart, and so stunning, even his womanizing best friend, JP, would be jealous.

Y’know…understanding the reason for your existence, learning the ultimate truth of the world, and attaining godhood would give most people a lot to think about. But me? I’ve got better things to do, like making mini-spider clones!

More teetering tales and quirky characters from the 30th floor of towering Wayside School. The craziness continues.

Graham Malone is my roommate, my personal eye candy, the reason I get up in the morning smiling. (That could be from the illicit dreams I have about him, too, I suppose. Let's move on.) He's also beautiful to look at, but his heart is where his true beauty lies. Take away the exterior, and the interior still shines. I love him. I mean, I'm pretty sure I do, having never been in love before.

When Ren Sharpe was 14, she was kidnapped by a shadowy organization called FATE and trained to be a human weapon. Now, four years later, she receives her assignment: protect Gareth Young at all costs. Currently a student at Texas A&M, Gareth will someday change the world. FATE calls people like Gareth "FIPs" - future important people - and they're everywhere, each with a FATE-trained shadow.

Where did Roald Dahl get all of his wonderful ideas for stories? From his own life, of course! As full of excitement and the unexpected as his world-famous, best-selling books, Roald Dahl's tales of his own childhood are completely fascinating and fiendishly funny. Did you know that Roald Dahl nearly lost his nose in a car accident? Or that he was once a chocolate candy tester for Cadbury's? Have you heard about his involvement in the Great Mouse Plot of 1924? If not, you don’t yet know all there is to know about Roald Dahl.

Tiffany Aching is ready to begin her apprenticeship in magic, but life isn't exactly what she thought it would be. She expects spells and magic - not chores and ill-tempered goats! Surely there must be more to witchcraft than this? And Tiffany will find that she needs her magic more than ever, to fight off the insidious, disembodied creature that is pursuing her. This time, neither Mistress Weatherwax (the greatest witch in the world) nor the fierce, six-inch-high Wee Free Men can protect her. In the end, it will take all of Tiffany's inner strength to save herself.

Christopher Columbus is one of the most famous explorers of all time, but he was neither the first nor last adventurer to ever stumble upon a great discovery. From the Silk Road of Asia to the icy shores of Antarctica, our knowledge of the world today is in large part due to several intrepid pioneers, risking life and limb for the sake of exploration. After all, setting off into the dark unknown requires an enormous amount of bravery. But every explorer quickly learns that courage and curiosity aren't enough to save you if you can't read a map or trespass on somebody else's land!

Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fan-fiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right? After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick's best friend (and maybe the love of his life).

After many trials and challenges, our reborn spider has become very good at fighting (and eating!) monsters. Getting a little full of herself, she's rushed headlong into some unexplored area and now, she's facing her worst enemy...a huge dragon!

Luke is a straightforward man. There are only a few things he wants in life: Levels, things to fight to gain levels, and finding Cookie, so he can fight things more efficiently. Yet, the other members of his team are ready for some relaxation, and fun in the sun. After all, there should be huge perks that come with stopping an invasion in its tracks. But surprisingly, being famous for making the Kingdom wealthy and powerful has its downsides. Namely, there is now a huge price on their heads. The Four soon find themselves searching for a way to pit their power against the world.

Take one bored princess. Make her the seventh daughter in a very proper royal family. Have her run away. Add one powerful, fascinating, dangerous dragon. Princess Cimerone has never met anyone (or anything) like the dragon Kazul. But then, she's never met a witch, a jinn, a death-dealing talking bird or a stone prince either. Princess Cimerone ran away to find some excitement. She's found plenty.