Teen Humor

My name is Caitlin, and up until 48 hours ago, I had never: tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone, or - what? Stolen a convertible? Now I'm in jail, and I have no idea what I'm going to tell: the police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews, and everyone on Twitter. I have just noticed that: my nose is pierced, and I have - wait? Is that a tattoo? I blame one person for this entire insane weekend: my famous cousin.

Meet Marley, a yellow furball of a puppy who quickly grows into a large, rowdy Labrador retriever. With an appetite for nearly anything he can get his mouth around, including couches and fine jewelry, Marley is always getting into trouble. Some may say he's the world's worst dog.

Tallulah Casey is ready to find her inner artist. And some new mates. And maybe a boy or two or three. The ticket to achieving these lofty goals? Enrolling in a summer performing arts program, of course. She’s bound for the wilds of Yorkshire Dales - eerily similar to the windswept moors of Wuthering Heights. Tallulah expects new friends, less parental interference, and lots of drama. Acting? Tights? Moors? Check, check, check. What she doesn’t expect is feeling like a tiny bat’s barging around in her mouth when she has her first snog.

When Perry ends up in Venice on a European tour with his band Inchworm, he can’t resist a visit to Harry’s Bar, where Gobi told him she’d meet him someday. The last time he saw Gobi, five people were assassinated one crazy night in New York City. Well... Gobi shows up, and once again Perry is roped into a wild, nonstop thrill ride with a body count. Double crossings, kidnappings, CIA agents, arms dealers, boat chases in Venetian canals, and a shootout in the middle of a Santa Claus convention ensue.

This audiobook contains hundreds upon hundreds of the most funny and amusing jokes - so you can fall on the ground and start laughing your head off! You only live once, but if you live it right, then once is enough. These jokes will get you laughing for hours upon hours. Enjoy! Get it now.

A year ago, Boy, the son of Frankenstein's monster, had never even met a human. Now he's living with his human "family", the descendants of Dr. Frankenstein, in Switzerland. That is until the maniacal genius Dr. Moreau, long-ago banished to a remote island for his crimes against humanity, asks for Boy's help.

Learn a Lot While You Sit on the Pot is a family-friendly volume packed with amusing anecdotes, surprising facts, and big splashes of fun. Including science stories, British slang, and other thrilling tidbits, Smart deftly offers a unique gag or holiday gift for teens and adults. If discovering famous plumbers and gross body details sounds delightful, waiting for things to happen in the loo will bring you joy.

Uptight elfin historian Brangwain Spurge is on a mission: survive being catapulted across the mountains into goblin territory, deliver a priceless peace offering to their mysterious dark lord, and spy on the goblin kingdom - from which no elf has returned alive in more than 100 years. Brangwain's host, the goblin archivist Werfel, is delighted to show Brangwain around. They should be the best of friends, but a series of extraordinary double crosses, blunders, and cultural misunderstandings throws these two bumbling scholars into the middle of an international crisis.

To become a Dark Lord is no easy thing. The simple ambition to hold dominion over the world and bend all to your will sounds straightforward, but it's not. There are armies to raise, fortresses to build, heroes to defeat, and battles to be fought. After many spectacular failures, Evil decided to lend more than inspiration to these would-be tyrants. He wrote an easy-to-follow Dark Lord's Handbook. And yet the next Dark Lord that came along screwed up like all the others.

Merit Cravan refused to fulfill her obligation to marry a prince, leading to a fairy godling's curse. She will be forced to live as a beast forever, unless she agrees to marry a man of her mother's choosing before her 18th birthday. Tevin Dumont has always been a pawn in his family's cons. The prettiest boy in a big family, his job is to tempt naïve rich girls to abandon their engagements, unless their parents agree to pay him off. But after his mother runs afoul of the beast, she decides to trade Tevin for her own freedom.

Ezra Slevin is an anxious, neurotic insomniac who spends his nights questioning his place in the universe and his days obsessing over Imogen, a nerdy girl with gigantic eyebrows and a heart of gold. For weeks, Ezra has been working up the courage to invite Imogen to prom. The only problem is Imogen's protective best friend, Wynonna Jones. Wynonna has blue hair, jams to 80s rock, and has made a career out of tormenting Ezra for as long as he can remember. Then, on the night of a total solar eclipse, something strange happens to Ezra and Wynonna - and they wake up in each other's bodies.

Rufus and his sister Alexa hate each other at the best of times. When Rufus's friend Phil manages to hypnotize Alexa, Rufus is ready to enjoy the power. They begin by ordering Alexa to be kind to her parents and Phil. The plan backfires when Alexa sweetly suggests canceling an expensive family vacation in favor of a week at home playing board games. Then Alexa turns on the charm with Phil and suddenly Rufus has to deal with a lovesick amateur hypnotist. Rufus is certain it can't get any stranger until Alexa, still in her hypnotic state, is kind to the brother she's always hated.

Sound the Cosmic Horn for best-selling author Louise Rennison’s ninth book of the confessions of crazy but loveable teenager Georgia Nicolson!Now that Georgia has finally won over gorgey Masimo, the Italian Stallion, her old friend and lip-nibbling partner Dave the Laugh has popped up again. Will Georgia go to Pizza-a-gogo land to visit dreamy Masimo? Or could her perfect boy be closer than she thinks. A Sex Kitty’s life is never simple…More hilarious confessions.

Tall, meaty, muscle-bound, and hairier than most throw rugs, Dylan doesn't look like your average 15-year-old, so naturally, high school has not been kind to him. To make matters worse, on the day his school bans hats (his preferred camouflage), Dylan goes up on his roof only to fall and wake up in the hospital with a broken leg - and a mandate to attend group therapy for self-harmers. Dylan vows to say nothing and zones out at therapy - until he meets Jamie. She's funny, smart, and so stunning, even his womanizing best friend, JP, would be jealous.

When Ren Sharpe was 14, she was kidnapped by a shadowy organization called FATE and trained to be a human weapon. Now, four years later, she receives her assignment: protect Gareth Young at all costs. Currently a student at Texas A&M, Gareth will someday change the world. FATE calls people like Gareth "FIPs" - future important people - and they're everywhere, each with a FATE-trained shadow.

In The Silly Kids Joke Book, you will discover a unique collection of original question-and-answer jokes that both kids and adults will enjoy. Perfect as an after-school activity, a bonding session with friends, or just a lighthearted pastime when your kid has nothing else to do, this joke book is the perfect companion whether alone or in a group.

Pretty, impecunious Sally Nicholas never dreamed a fortune could prove a disadvantage, until she became an heiress and watched in bewilderment as her orderly existence went haywire. Coping first with her brother's wild theatrical ambitions, then with the defection of her fiancé and his immediate replacement by a much more appropriate but strangely unattractive suitor, Sally finds that life in New York is becoming altogether too complicated, and a trip to England only makes the whole situation worse.

From a grandmother worried that her children are losing their Indian identity, to a daughter wrapped up in a forbidden biracial love affair, to a granddaughter social activist fighting to preserve Bengali tigers, Perkins weaves together the threads of a family growing into an American identity. Here is a sweeping story of five women at once intimately relatable and yet entirely new.

Reanimate yourself for success with advice on life, love, and work from the undead!

Graham Malone is my roommate, my personal eye candy, the reason I get up in the morning smiling. (That could be from the illicit dreams I have about him, too, I suppose. Let's move on.) He's also beautiful to look at, but his heart is where his true beauty lies. Take away the exterior, and the interior still shines. I love him. I mean, I'm pretty sure I do, having never been in love before.