Urban Fantasy Comedy

After spending ten months in magic-abuse jail for a crime she doesn't remember committing, accident-prone witch-in-denial Bernice Sutton is zapped to the small paranormal town of Paris, Texas. With Miss Fee Line, her kitty drag-queen by her side, Bernie just wants to fulfill the terms of her parole so she can get back to Boston and dig into the mystery of her parents' deaths and her witch lineage. But Bernie's quickly distracted by the town's cast of magical characters, from Winnie—the sassy owner of the local witch halfway house—to the entire posse of Poise Pad wearers at the senior center.

Esmy is singularly frustrated by the lack of pockets in women's clothing. Living in a small Indiana college town with her librarian brother, Jake, Esmy is stuck in a rut with fixing the same crappy WiFi issues day in and day out. But meeting Loki, the mischievous trickster god of Norse legend, ignites her life like a powder-keg. This simple, seemingly innocuous encounter leads her and Jake to discover the college campus's mysterious depths, involving voodoo priestesses, Sasquatches, vampires, a Canadian with a vendetta against the girl scouts, and much more.

The Black Knight Chronicles: lots of vampires. No sparkles. Serious snark. This bundle includes books one through there: Hard Day's Knight, Back in Black, and Knight Moves.

No stranger to fear since meeting the unhuman Inspector Hobbes, Andy Caplet fears getting fired from his reporting job (again). His main concern, though, is a shady property developer who has designs on Sorenchester Common, and more annoyingly on his wife. Perhaps a trip to the mountains will help him relax, but this proves even more perilous with foul weather, inedible food, brigands, and a terrifying cruise. Fortunately, mountain leopards, Yetis and Flossy, the yak, take a shine to Andy.

Jeannie Carlyle is a caterer extraordinaire, more than ready to handle any challenge thrown at her. But when her client asks her to open up a rare bottle of gin for a party, Jeannie is shocked when a guy in poofy pants pops out and she gets sucked inside. Trapped in the bottle, Jeannie does the only thing she can think of and uses her cell phone to search the term paranormal and finds the number for OOPS - Out in the Open Paranormal Support.

In this fast-paced sequel to The Everything Box - the second entry in New York Times best-selling author Richard Kadrey's comedic supernatural series - chaos ensues when Coop and the team at DOPS steal a not-quite-dead and very lovesick ancient Egyptian mummy wielding some terrifying magic. Coop, a master thief sort of gone legit, saved the world from an ancient doomsday device - heroism that earned him a gig working for the Department of Peculiar Science.

It's a lousy first day on the job for Nina Blackman. A patient, loopy from the anesthesia, bites her. At least he was cute. The next morning, Nina wakes up with a set of razor-sharp fangs, bionic vision, supersonic hearing, and a taste for blood. But there's a good explanation: It's her patient, Long Island vampire Greg Statleon. Is Nina willing to commit to one man for eternity, even if they are perfect for each other?

Raised by vampyre relatives, Jane grows to resent the lifestyle's effect on her upbringing. No sunlight, nighttime hours, and a diet of bloody red meat is no way for a mortal girl to live. Things change for Jane when the ghost of her uncle visits her, imparts her parents' slayer history, and charges her with the responsibility of striking out to find others of her kind and learn the slayer ways.

From the author of Fight Club, the classic portrait of the damaged contemporary male psyche, now comes this novel about the apocalyptic marketing possibilities of female pleasure. Beautiful You is Palahniuk's much-anticipated satire of the emerging erotic thriller genre, a mash-up of mommy porn and chick lit à la Sex and the City, and fantasy lit à la Clan of the Cave Bear. Imagine if Ira Levin had a baby with Jean Auel.

Sarah Wright woke up a few times after parties in strange places - but the morgue's a first. At 18, she's eager for a taste of independence, moving out of state to attend college. A change of scenery is extra-needed due to a bad breakup with her boyfriend, Scott. However, soon after escaping the body cooler, she makes two startling realizations: vampires are real and she is one. There's nothing quite like an untimely death to ruin plans. California's sunny beaches aren't the best place for vampires to chill, and worse, she winds up stuck in Seattle, living with her parents.

Matt Richter may be dead, but he'll still crack ths case. His mean streets are the city of the dead, the shadowy realm known as Nekropolis. This place has always been ruled by the vampire overlords. Now they're plotting to destroy the city. Over my dead body. Tim Waggoner is a novelist and college professor.

Librarian-witch Jane Madison has been invited to join the prestigious Washington Coven - a necessary step, if she’s going to hold onto her feline familiar, her beloved arcane books, and her sexy warder, David Montrose. As the Coven’s tests become more challenging, though, Jane must decide if she can trust her new witchy friend, Haylee. And then there’s that handsome Brit, Graeme Henderson, who is proving to be most distracting...Jane is about to be tested in ways she’s never imagined - and, pass or fail, nothing will ever be the same!

Awakened by bloodcurdling screams, Santa Claus springs into action to stop a lethal sickness from infecting his reindeer, only to learn that he's already too late. Christmas is all but ruined. But, when a disgraced alcoholic Christmas elf offers to retrofit the sleigh with highly advanced technology, Santa's hope of saving Christmas is renewed. With a solid plan in place, they hitch the sole surviving reindeer to Santa's sleigh and prepare to launch into the blustery night...until Father Time interrupts Santa's plans with an ultimatum that could kill Christmas forever.

A heartwarming tale of terror in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. Meet Sarah and David. Once upon a time, they met and fell in love. But now they’re on the verge of divorce and going to couples’ counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things: the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client’s throat. Meet the zombies....

Ruddy McCann, former college football star, has experienced a seismic drop in popularity; he is now Kalkaska, Michigan’s full-time repo man and part-time bar bouncer. His best friend is his low-energy Basset hound Jake, with whom he shares a simple life of stealing cars. Simple, that is, until Ruddy starts hearing a voice in his head. The voice introduces himself as Alan Lottner, a dead realtor. Ruddy isn’t sure if Alan is real, or if he’s losing his mind.

Best-selling, critically acclaimed author Mark Helprin's work has drawn favorable comparisons to an elite group of literary legends, including James Joyce, Franz Kafka, Edgar Allan Poe, and Thomas Mann. Helprin's sheer comic brilliance shines in this ingenious farce.

To-do: Stop the bad guys. Rescue the wizard. Find the perfect outfit for New Year's Eve. At last, Owen Palmer, the dreamboat wizard at Magic, Spells, and Illusions, Inc., has conjured up the courage to get Katie Chandler under the mistletoe at the office holiday party. But just when it looks like Katie has found her prince, in pops her inept fairy godmother, Ethelinda, to throw a wand into the works. Ethelinda's timing couldn’t be worse. A plot hatched by MSI's rogue ex-employees, Idris and his evil fairy gal pal Ari, threatens to expose the company's secrets - and the very existence of magic itself.

Dr. Edith Vane, scholar of English literature, is contentedly ensconced at the University of Inivea. Her dissertation on pioneer housewife memoirist Beulah Crump-Withers is about to be published, and her job's finally safe, if she only can fill out her AAO properly. She's a little anxious, but a new floral blouse and her therapist's repeated assurance that she is the architect of her own life should fix that. All should be well, really. Except for her broken washing machine, her fickle new girlfriend, her missing friend Coral.

Veranix Calbert leads a double life. By day, he’s a struggling magic student at the University of Maradaine. At night, he spoils the drug trade of Willem Fenmere, crime boss of Dentonhill and murderer of Veranix’s father. He’s determined to shut Fenmere down. With that goal in mind, Veranix disrupts the delivery of two magical artifacts meant for Fenmere's clients, the mages of the Blue Hand Circle. Using these power-filled objects in his fight, he quickly becomes a real thorn in Fenmere's side.

Once a city of enormous wealth and culture, Prague was home to emperors, alchemists, astronomers, and, as it’s whispered, hell portals. When music student Sarah Weston lands a summer job at Prague Castle cataloging Beethoven’s manuscripts, she has no idea how dangerous her life is about to become. Prague is a threshold, Sarah is warned, and it is steeped in blood. Soon after Sarah arrives, strange things begin to happen.