Urban Fantasy Comedy

Blanche Wood's life has always been crazy - voices in your head kinda crazy - but before him, she could deal with it. Her stepmother would have loved to carve her heart out and eat it the day her father died, but as Blanche is the last of the Woods living in the Woodlands, she had to put up with her. Alessandro Primerius, Prince of Alenia, the fay blooded man who could rule the entire world if he so wished, was everything the Queen's ever desired... and he wants Blanche. Despite the fact that Queen Ilda is the fairest of them all.

When newlyweds Morgan and Marin discover a mystic portal in between the restroom doors of a convenience store, it whisks them away to a fantastic other world, one both barbaric and completely absurd.

Farmer Eben Smith heads off to the big city to trade his wagonload of produce. But he barters a lot more than goods after he stumbles across a strange crossroads in time, bargains with different cultures in alternate realities, and accidentally wreaks havoc and chaos in each.

Penniless, homeless, and virtually lifeless, the vagrant “Doughface” Jack is about to discover that where medical marvels meet the mysteries of the human mind, amazing things happen. The Tramp acquires a capability beyond his imagination and without equal on Earth. Riding the rails, Jack runs afoul of a local sheriff and ends up with a crushed skull. He’s as good as dead until a savvy country doctor performs a bit of medical magic.

Cozy Meadows, a middle school music teacher, is a little low on spirit this holiday season. After being abandoned by her fiancé Finn Donovan months earlier, she's just not the same.

Bubba, Skeeter, Amy and Joe are on vacation in New Orleans when everything goes sideways in the Big Easy and Bubba has to step in and save the day. Between beignets and hurricanes he has to deal with local constabulary, zombies, good vampires, bad vampires (who can tell the difference?), magical murders, a clothing-averse voodoo priest, and the sexy leather-clad Hunter for the Bayou territory.

Bubba and Uncle Father Joe head to the happiest place in the world to find out what's messing up Joe's ex-girlfriend's career making a museum exhibition of monster and demon summoning apparatus. Yeah - haunted magical objects from all over the world, all stuck in the same place. What could go wrong? Turns out the answer is plenty, and Bubba is going to need all the help he can get to survive this one.

It all starts at the Suwanee High Institute of Technology (SHIT), where Richard Johnson, a.k.a. Prick, informs his lab partner, Skunky, that he's given up on developing Richard's Vitamin Extract. So Skunky leaves the condescending Prick to his fancy electromagnetism and continues working on the beverage.

An Egyptian man wakes up from his sleep to announce the news of his death in the mosque and lives his life as a dead man.

Meet Dave. Dave has been a vampire for two days. By accident. He thought the first day was fabulous; now, not so much. Dave is thirsty but can't stand the sight of human blood. Oh, what he wouldn't do for a pizza or a cheeseburger.... In his hunt, he meets James, a resident illusionist in one of the town's hotels. James has his own problem. He had met a witch at the local coffee shop, but in a moment of weakness, he refused her advances and fled. Now he badly wants to find her to ask for a second chance.

Thor is tired of Loki's tricks. The God of Thunder has never paid attention to the doings of mortals, but in this modern age, the idea of "therapy" intrigues him. Maybe the mortals can help him make Loki see sense. Loki might be up to some underhanded dealings with gods of other religions, too. Thor drags Loki in to try "counseling." It might work out, as long as Loki isn't...up to anything.

A story about an Demonic Angel in Heaven and an Angelic Demon in Hell. Damon always felt out of place in his surroundings and at his work. Most would consider it an ordinary problem but Damon was an angel working in Heaven. When Damon is redeployed to work on a mission on Earth, things start to become interesting. He is however dismayed to find out that he has been assigned as a shoulder Angel to the most boring man on Earth, Joe Smith.

Rooting about in the loft of a house that you have lived in for ages can be a dangerous activity. Especially if there are no loft boards! In it, I discovered what I believe to be the only surviving printed copy of Clerb, a short book I wrote some 27 years ago now. Influenced by two huge gods of "funtastical" literature - Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett - Clerb is a humorous alien time travel adventure story... involving yoghurt!

Short-order cook and ethical relativist Claude is fascinated by the secret art of Chinese cuisine. But as he delves deeper into the mysterious culture of the surrealized "Chinesians", his revelations threaten to uproot his entire code of values. What is the weight of sacredness on the relative scale of ethics? Are our morals God-given, or merely a matter of taste?

Magical Crimes is a fun CSI with magic and "a little something else" story. The little something else being two foot long and lurking in the hero’s trousers. But don’t worry, the penis in this story is used purely for the purpose God intended - humour and crimefighting - not lustful titillation. Seb Kemp is a psychic profiler with a problem. After a night out drinking some men wake up with an unexpected tattoo. Seb woke up with a floor-length boinkwurst and no memory of how, when, or where it happened.

Jack Frost invades Hell. Intriguing right? Well, hold onto your hats, there is more to this story. Demon Winters follows Dee - a pudgy, slacker, emo, and a want-to-be poet all wrapped up into a husky, hoofed Hellion. As he sets out on an adventure with his trusty shovel and treasured journal, overcoming the new snow-covered landscape while battling foreign ice creatures of legend to restore Hell from the icy grip of Jack Frost. ***This book uses explicit language from time to time.***

Question: when do sewer rats in suburbia acquire intelligence and cunning? Answer: when they begin calling each other names. For Duff and Tuff, newly arrived on Conner's lawn after being ejected from a drain culvert during a flood, their I.Q. soon begins to rise while Conner's falls. Conner, you see, is obsessed with TV. Now the plan is to keep this bachelor from going through with his vow to change his life (and their situation) by pretending to be his supposedly deceased ex wife. Inspired by "Who Moved My Cheese?", this short fable has but one lesson: imagination is linked to reading, not watching television.

Lina Harker has discovered her grandmother’s secret. She used to be a vampire. Now, Lina’s greatest fear is that a remnant of that vampire DNA is lurking in her cells, waiting to reactivate. Yes, Dracula’s lineage had been destroyed, but the ‘what if’s were too much to imagine. Doggedly following the trail of two families that escaped the Van Helsing purge, she discovers that ‘X’ leads to Climax, Canada. She has her stakes, garlic and holy water ready, but when she arrives, nothing is as she expects.

Gus Balfour has lived with his “shortcomings” all his life. He’s been picked on, made fun of, and obviously had problems in the bedroom. But through the years, he’s learned other ways to please the ladies. Or so he thought. When his girlfriend leaves because he simply doesn’t have enough to give, he decides it’s time to take matters into his own hands…or well, maybe a surgeon’s. After learning about the complications and exorbitant costs that go along with the surgical enhancement, he thinks all hope is lost. But a name and number left by his housekeeper could change his life.

Jon Gilligan is the only man with a pulse in a city of the undead. It's his job to maintain order between the factions of walking corpses and disembodied spirits. The workload has been driving him a little insane, leading him to take on the persona of a noir detective. He narrates his adventures, casting himself as a hero to all those under his watch.