Urban Fantasy Comedy

Author D. D. Scott is back...this time, with the third book in her new best-selling series co-authored with David Slegg. What if Santa had a double knee replacement and had to put his BFF Father Time and The Mom Squad's Grams in charge of The Big Red Ride? For Stuck with Sleigh Bells think Castle and Beckett, The Good Witch and Maxine in Whoville.

When the small Southwestern town of Albuquerque is beset with yoga students transformed into demoniacally possessed zombies organized by the leader of Hell itself and led by "The Beast" Aleister Crowley, the survivors must unite and fight off the hordes from below - lest the boundaries between the land of the living the world of the damned be removed altogether!

In New Orleans, Louisiana, something with a weird sense of humor is stranding myth in a non-magical world. Dr. Tiffany Crews and gang find themselves no longer chasing Damn Duck, running into walls or spilling soup. As a matter of fact, no accidents have happened in the last week. It isn't until they find Damn Duck sitting quietly on the balcony, Miracai, the carnivorous unicorn, eating greens without flatulence, and her klutz tendencies missing, Tiffany realizes something is up.

They say you should never go backward in life and dwell in the past. Well I am making an exception! After about 30 years I think we all have a right to know if Clerb ever came back. Surely in this time of uncertainty and world crisis Clerb is needed more than ever. So here he is again just for the fun of it and just to ensure that trees everywhere have a right to be really bored once in a while again. Enjoy!

Rooting about in the loft of a house that you have lived in for ages can be a dangerous activity. Especially if there are no loft boards! In it, I discovered what I believe to be the only surviving printed copy of Clerb, a short book I wrote some 27 years ago now. Influenced by two huge gods of "funtastical" literature - Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett - Clerb is a humorous alien time travel adventure story... involving yoghurt!

Short-order cook and ethical relativist Claude is fascinated by the secret art of Chinese cuisine. But as he delves deeper into the mysterious culture of the surrealized "Chinesians", his revelations threaten to uproot his entire code of values. What is the weight of sacredness on the relative scale of ethics? Are our morals God-given, or merely a matter of taste?

Magical Crimes is a fun CSI with magic and "a little something else" story. The little something else being two foot long and lurking in the hero’s trousers. But don’t worry, the penis in this story is used purely for the purpose God intended - humour and crimefighting - not lustful titillation. Seb Kemp is a psychic profiler with a problem. After a night out drinking some men wake up with an unexpected tattoo. Seb woke up with a floor-length boinkwurst and no memory of how, when, or where it happened.

Jack Frost invades Hell. Intriguing right? Well, hold onto your hats, there is more to this story. Demon Winters follows Dee - a pudgy, slacker, emo, and a want-to-be poet all wrapped up into a husky, hoofed Hellion. As he sets out on an adventure with his trusty shovel and treasured journal, overcoming the new snow-covered landscape while battling foreign ice creatures of legend to restore Hell from the icy grip of Jack Frost. ***This book uses explicit language from time to time.***

Question: when do sewer rats in suburbia acquire intelligence and cunning? Answer: when they begin calling each other names. For Duff and Tuff, newly arrived on Conner's lawn after being ejected from a drain culvert during a flood, their I.Q. soon begins to rise while Conner's falls. Conner, you see, is obsessed with TV. Now the plan is to keep this bachelor from going through with his vow to change his life (and their situation) by pretending to be his supposedly deceased ex wife. Inspired by "Who Moved My Cheese?", this short fable has but one lesson: imagination is linked to reading, not watching television.

Back in the day, we never had a problem with these pesky sparkly vampires. We would get an occasional deer in the yard, or a squirrel, or even a raccoon, but never vampires. It was a peaceful, quiet little town in the Pacific Northwest called Spoon. We never caused anyone any trouble, and they left us well enough alone.

Gus Balfour has lived with his “shortcomings” all his life. He’s been picked on, made fun of, and obviously had problems in the bedroom. But through the years, he’s learned other ways to please the ladies. Or so he thought. When his girlfriend leaves because he simply doesn’t have enough to give, he decides it’s time to take matters into his own hands…or well, maybe a surgeon’s. After learning about the complications and exorbitant costs that go along with the surgical enhancement, he thinks all hope is lost. But a name and number left by his housekeeper could change his life.

Jon Gilligan is the only man with a pulse in a city of the undead. It's his job to maintain order between the factions of walking corpses and disembodied spirits. The workload has been driving him a little insane, leading him to take on the persona of a noir detective. He narrates his adventures, casting himself as a hero to all those under his watch.

Alliston Hayes loved three things: getting married, hats, and the late Jac Jarger. So when she got the chance to combine the three with the help of a demon-possessed cat and an ancient book, how could she pass it up? And how could she know that her enthusiasm would result in "The Incident"?

So how does a kelpie, an ex-assassin high school librarian, Santa Claus, the Flying Dutchman, and the Krampus wind up going toe-to-toe with a Martian Expeditionary Force in a highly unidentifiable flying gravy bowl? Why don't you grab this audiobook and hear for yourself?

In this, the first story in a new series featuring a character from Dark Elves, Dragons and Dinosaurs as well as Beholder Baseball and Other Bad Ideas, Magnus the scientist who formerly "dated" Lorelei the dark elf priestess is now in Manhattan and single. He is visited in the dead of night by a dead folksinger, who is now a vampire and needs his assistance on a mission to take down a dangerous necromancer.

An expat living in South Korea is attracted to Korean farmer Dae-jin, because of his looks and his wealth. But a legendary trickster goblin, a dokkaebi, has its eyes set on the money-grabber to foil her plans. Will the girl get the money and tear Dae-jin away from his wife? Or, perhaps the dokkaebi has other plans....

When Wulfric needs the season's hottest toy, he turns to the only person who can help: Tammy's new boyfriend, who might not be human. Between pizza dinners, helpful Fae, and stacks of waffles, join the crew of Halfway as they solve a Christmas mystery and find out that sometimes, what you can't see can really hurt you. This humorous paranormal short is for fans of witches, waffles, and Christmas. Listen with a cup of tea, and beware - there are spoilers ahead if you've not visited Halfway before.

Peter, Quinn, Romeo, and Sam are four (lame) shapeshifters (platypus, mosquito, piranha, sloth) who also happen to be best friends and members of a (terrible) garage band. But the local Battle of the Bands is happening on the full moon, and the boys are forced to turn to Sam's non-were (Goth) sister Natalie to help them out.

Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself - but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong.

Bambi Simmons is the perfect woman. She is tall, slender and blonde with everything going for her. But she also has a very dark secret that only a few unfortunate people have learned. When an officer comes too close to the truth, she totally has to take care of business. Embark on a different sort of vampire tale in this dark comedy by Joel M. Andre that features his beloved detective Lauren Bruni.