Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! We wish it was that simple!
Singles of all ages have are having a challenging time meeting their soulmate. They are all looking for 'the one,' but are having a tough time finding him or her.
Rebbetzin Sarah Rabin from the Caulfield Shule in Melbourne, Australia, speaks about why people are having challenges in shiduchim (the Jewish system of matchmaking.) According to Rebbetzin Sarah, the top 5 challenges contributing to today's shidduch crisis are:
1. The fast pace of life--in our society, we race from one thing to the next--the next person, the next appointment, the next job, the next social event. People don't make the time to connect deeply.
2. Technology and distractions. In today's world, people have easy access to technology and dating apps. They are too busy swiping left and right, checking emails, texting, and scrolling social media to get to know someone in person.
3. People have high expectations and fear of commitment--people want their prospective wife/husband to fit all of their ideals. They have many expectations, which are not always realistic. Also, people are afraid of committing because they think that they could potential meet someone better...and better...and better...and...
4. Social circles and geography--Jews who live in smaller Jewish communities are hesitant to date 'that guy they went to school with,' or 'their best friend's brother.' It can be challenging to date when you have known the same people since nursery school. Likewise, in larger Jewish communities, it's harder to date because people are always looking around for someone potentially better. One suggestion is to branch off and visit other Jewish communities in different geographic locations.
5. Emotional readiness and past experience. Not everyone is mature and ready to enter into a committed relationship. Also, people might have had negative experiences with previous relationships, which makes them fearful of entering into another relationship.
Fortunately, Rebbetzin Sarah offered possible SOLUTIONS to the shidduch crisis, including:
1. Singles need to have clarity on their values and their priorities. When a person knows what they believe in, what they value, and what they find most important in life, it makes it easier to identify those same beliefs in another person.
2. Seek guidance. Singles need to resolve past issues of trauma or bad relationships with a therapist, and they need to seek guidance for dating from a rabbi/rebbetzin, mentor, or happily married friends. Singles need guidance in order to develop a healthy perspective on relationships and the work that they entail.
3. Hishtadlus (effort) and Emunah (belief in G-d). Singles need to understand that if they are going out on a date or to a singles event, they need to put effort into getting ready for the evening. They need to look attractive and presentable, and they need to be open to meeting people. Once they have done their part, the rest is in G-d's hands. He will orchestrate two people meeting, and He will guide singles to their soulmate.
4. Fostering connection. Jewish singles really need to give people a chance when they meet them. They need to establish a connection and put in the time and effort to get to know someone in order to see if they are a compatible match.
Singles, stay strong! Your soulmate is out there waiting for you.
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
