Bedtime Stories for Cynics
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Narrated by:
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Written by:
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Nick Offerman
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Audible Comedy
About this listen
If your weary, grownup mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Comedy series, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy hilarious appearances by the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
©2016 Bedtime Stories for Cynics (P)2016 Audible, Inc.You may also enjoy...
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The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- Written by: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 247
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 216
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Story4 out of 5 stars 214
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not interesting
- By Anonymous User on 2020-01-07
Written by: Megan Mullally, and others
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Where the Deer and the Antelope Play
- The Pastoral Observations of One Ignorant American Who Loves to Walk Outside
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 104
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 91
A humorous and rousing set of literal and figurative sojourns as well as a mission statement about comprehending, protecting, and truly experiencing the outdoors, fueled by three journeys undertaken by actor, humorist, and New York Times best-selling author Nick Offerman
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining but a bit political
- By DJVIBE on 2022-01-06
Written by: Nick Offerman
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Gumption
- Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
a pleasant review of Americana
- By David Power on 2024-06-20
Written by: Nick Offerman
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Good Clean Fun
- Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Nick shares his experience of working at the woodshop with his ragtag crew of champions, tells you all about his passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teaches you how to make two of the woodshop’s most popular projects along the way: a Pop Top bottle opener and a three-legged stool. This audiobook will take you behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching you to make your own projects while besotting you with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Passion of woodwork
- By Amazon Customer on 2024-04-03
Written by: Nick Offerman
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A Deadly Education
- A Novel (The Scholomance, Book 1)
- Written by: Naomi Novik
- Narrated by: Anisha Dadia
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 328
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 281
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
I decided that Orion Lake needed to die after the second time he saved my life. Everyone loves Orion Lake. Everyone else, that is. Far as I’m concerned, he can keep his flashy combat magic to himself. I’m not joining his pack of adoring fans. I don’t need help surviving the Scholomance, even if they do. Forget the hordes of monsters and cursed artifacts; I’m probably the most dangerous thing in the place. Just give me a chance and I’ll level mountains and kill untold millions, making myself the dark queen of the world.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Super creative and great world building
- By Anonymous User on 2021-01-22
Written by: Naomi Novik
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 231
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 203
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 203
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Inspiring, touching and hilarious read
- By Amazon Customer on 2020-09-04
Written by: Nick Offerman
-
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- Written by: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 247
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 216
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 214
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Not interesting
- By Anonymous User on 2020-01-07
Written by: Megan Mullally, and others
-
Where the Deer and the Antelope Play
- The Pastoral Observations of One Ignorant American Who Loves to Walk Outside
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 104
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 91
A humorous and rousing set of literal and figurative sojourns as well as a mission statement about comprehending, protecting, and truly experiencing the outdoors, fueled by three journeys undertaken by actor, humorist, and New York Times best-selling author Nick Offerman
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining but a bit political
- By DJVIBE on 2022-01-06
Written by: Nick Offerman
-
Gumption
- Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
a pleasant review of Americana
- By David Power on 2024-06-20
Written by: Nick Offerman
-
Good Clean Fun
- Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 53
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 41
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Nick shares his experience of working at the woodshop with his ragtag crew of champions, tells you all about his passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teaches you how to make two of the woodshop’s most popular projects along the way: a Pop Top bottle opener and a three-legged stool. This audiobook will take you behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching you to make your own projects while besotting you with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Passion of woodwork
- By Amazon Customer on 2024-04-03
Written by: Nick Offerman
-
A Deadly Education
- A Novel (The Scholomance, Book 1)
- Written by: Naomi Novik
- Narrated by: Anisha Dadia
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 328
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 281
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 281
I decided that Orion Lake needed to die after the second time he saved my life. Everyone loves Orion Lake. Everyone else, that is. Far as I’m concerned, he can keep his flashy combat magic to himself. I’m not joining his pack of adoring fans. I don’t need help surviving the Scholomance, even if they do. Forget the hordes of monsters and cursed artifacts; I’m probably the most dangerous thing in the place. Just give me a chance and I’ll level mountains and kill untold millions, making myself the dark queen of the world.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Super creative and great world building
- By Anonymous User on 2021-01-22
Written by: Naomi Novik
-
Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- Written by: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 231
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 203
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 203
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Inspiring, touching and hilarious read
- By Amazon Customer on 2020-09-04
Written by: Nick Offerman
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What listeners say about Bedtime Stories for Cynics
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 2020-04-09
Very entertaining
Nick never fails to entertain.
Sometimes the stories are grotesque. I love the modern twists on classic stories. I hope there will be a third installment of these enjoyable stories.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Malz1986
- 2019-06-09
Whoa
Okay these are really funny that's all you need to know and you should listen to it
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- ADiochon
- 2022-06-10
Good op protag story :)
A solid take with a fun limiter on the opness of the MC! Do recommend :)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Winston
- 2024-08-04
Things that go bump in the night
I quite enjoyed the telling of this story with the flashbacks to tease and cajole you along, and keep the reader interested.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- emmalee bennett
- 2019-02-22
Stories
they're just silly little rhymes. jokes and cynical laughs with some lullabies in the background. great for relaxing, light material
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ItsAMeBob
- 2020-03-26
I grew a bushy moustache just by listening to this
This was the finest piece of literature I've ever had the pleasure of listening too.
At first I was unsure about listening to bed time stories at 4 pm but how could I resist the unwavering urge to more than likely be insulted, forced into hysterics and to be somewhat tastefully seduced by Nick Offerman?
I couldnt that's how and now I'm forced to shave this picturesque, more manly than nearly any man, bushy, fully in mint condition moustache that grew right under my nose as I was enchanted by these stories.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Karen
- 2018-10-20
I seriously laughed
This is hilarious, if you're a cynical sarcastic asshole......thankfully that 100% me.....I laughed till I nearly peed...I've shared this with friends to their great delight as well. WORTH IT!!!
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6 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- jrocmagoo
- 2019-03-01
good job
this was funny to listen to, a good quick listen
.keep it up I look forward to more
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- H Garcia
- 2019-05-10
not impressed by some vocabulary they used
Why do some writers think adding a swear word here and there would make a better story is beyond me. I'll keep looking for actual refreshing stories.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 2019-05-16
Really enjoyed this
The only bad thing I have to say about it, is that there aren't enough stories.
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